Monday, May 6, 2013

Taking my time

Saturday Adam took the kids camping.  As soon as I found out I would be on my own for 24 hours, I made all sorts of plans.  I was going to

  1. Go to my favorite thrift store
  2. Plant/transplant some seedlings
  3. Finish my book
  4. Scrub the bathrooms, particularly the shower, until they shined.
  5. Clean the kitchen
  6. Bake cookies to surprise the kids when they got  home
  7. Stroll Mayfest by myself
  8. Go to Central Market and just browse the aisles, buying whatever strikes my fancy
  9. Write for at least three hours
  10. Finish the church newsletter
Obviously I had high hopes.  These all changed, though, when my cousin called me and asked me to take my grandfather to the ER.  My cousin was showing houses and couldn't do it but my grandfather was requesting to go for a sore on his foot.  No problem, I'll do it.

After making sure the kids and Adam were taken care of and had packed their sunscreen and insect repellent, I grabbed my book and hit the road.  When I arrived, I immediately saw my grandfather's foot was swollen and obviously infected.  I took him to the urgent care facility closest to his apartment.

This was not a day for rushing.  My grandfather typically is slow, but he was in a lot of pain, so he was even slower.  Independent even when it hurts, he chose to take his old-fashioned walker, not his wheelchair or rolling walker.  With a mixture of pride and fascination, I watched him struggle to make it from the car to the clinic, from the chair to the exam room.  But even with all that struggling, every time someone would pass him, the man would stop to tip his ball cap.  I felt helpless and proud at the same time.  
He wouldn't let me help him with anything he could do himself.  He's told me before that he doesn't like people making a cripple out of him.  When he used to drive, though he's been walking with a cane and a raised shoe since I can remember, he would refuse to park in handicapped parking, to allow someone who was "really handicapped" to park there. On Saturday, he admitted that he qualified for handicapped parking.

Several hours later, I returned him to his room with his new medications.  Once we figured out how to get the pill bottles open and labeled with the hour he should take his medicine, he urgently wanted me to leave so he could use the restroom.  I did.

On my way out, I ran into his friend Jan.  She's Paul's number one fan and first girlfriend.  When we go to visit my grandfather, we also go visit her.  She gets Paul to honk the horn on her electric wheelchair and won't stop asking until he gives her a hug.  She has the best sense of humor and often makes me laugh so hard I have to struggle to stop.  She saw I was without the kids so she asked me if I would come to her apartment and have a glass of wine.  I immediately accepted.

I was honored to be drinking Franzia chilled wine with my friend Jan, who also served me Great Value Chex mix.  ("I don't go to Wal-Mart without buying a bag of this.")  She served me the snacks on a plastic disposable plate, which she immediately washed when I had finished.  (I even ate the crumbs, at her insistence.)

Jan is 76 and over a glass of wine, she shared with me her life story.  She's a widow now, but when she was young, she hoped to have a baby girl.  She decorated a room pink and bought baby clothes, but was never lucky enough to have a baby.

She's in an electric wheelchair because during heart surgery, a cardiologist damaged some of her nerves, and one of her feet became twisted and she cannot stand.  She can only wear one shoe and has offered me one of her unused shoes before.

Jan also told me about having breast cancer.  She's a survivor.  I mentioned a dear friend of mine with breast cancer and Jan said, "Do you want to know what breast cancer looks like?"  I was puzzled.  Then she lifted her shirt to show me the result of her mastectomy.  The surgeon got all her cancer, and she decided not to reconstruct.  After showing me, she made me promise not to tell my grandfather.  Don't worry.  I couldn't even begin to start a conversation about that.

So instead of my list of plans, here's what I did Saturday:
  1. Took my grandfather to the urgent care clinic
  2. Observed never-erring courtesy
  3. Learned to ask for the easy-open bottles at the pharmacy
  4. Listened to an elderly woman's story
  5. Learned that Great Value chex mix is just as good as Chex brand
  6. Saw a lady topless
I went home and finished my book.  I didn't get anything done that I planned to do, except for finish my book, but I couldn't have even planned a day like that.  

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