I am about to confess something that will make you think less of me. My son, 11 months old, is already a kleptomaniac.
I discovered this a couple of days ago when we went to Kroger. Adam was at an engineering meeting and the kids and I went to get some broccoli and a few bake mixes. Claire's birthday was yesterday and I wanted to bake her the muffins and cookies of her choosing and broccoli to balance it all out.
It was a fairly short trip to the grocery store. It was also fairly low maintenance. No trips to the bathroom, no time-outs in the grocery cart, not much begging for unnecessary items.
I put all my groceries on the register, keeping one eye on Claire because she kept grabbing candy bars and offering them to other people in line. She didn't quite understand why the lady behind us didn't want to eat the Hershey bar she was trying to give her.
So one eye on Claire, one eye on the register, pen in hand writing a check. We checked out, I sighed with relief and we started walking out. Then I saw it.
Paul was hugging a package of cookie mix. I hadn't paid for it.
And this is where my crisis of conscience comes in. I had a debate in my head. Do I go back to the register, apologize and pay for the $2 mix? Do I use this as a lesson on honesty? Or do I pretend I didn't notice and keep on walking out the door with unpaid merchandise?
Claire is now three, old enough to be learning lessons like this. She could have benefitted from her mother's act of honesty. Instead, her mother was dishonest and kept on walking. I could list a thousand excuses for why I didn't go back and pay for the cookies, but the real reason is that I didn't want to.
And as a kick in the seat of my pants, I swear to you I have never seen a rent-a-cop at Kroger, but there was one right outside the door when we left. At first I was scared we were going to be arrested, but then I realized I still could go back and pay for the cookies. I didn't.
Right and wrong is often not black and white. My life has a lot of gray in it. I believe it's important to model good choices for my children, especially when it would have been so easy to go back and pay. Hopefully my kids will pick up on all my good deeds and not remember this one. Or they could be headed toward a life of crime, which could have been avoided for $2 plus tax.
Here's a place where Sarah writes what's on her heart and mind for whomever will read it. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's little pieces of life that I'm grateful for. Enjoy!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Pace Car
Though I was born in the South and am white, I am not a NASCAR fan. Adam and I have been to a couple of races at the Texas Motor Speedway, but that was only because we got free tickets in the mail from Marlboro. (We posed as smokers one night at a concert. Didn't have to actually smoke, just say that we did, and boom, we get all sorts of gifts in the mail from them.)
Before the race starts, they have a few warm-up laps, where the drivers drive around the speedway behind a pace car. They're not allowed to pass up the pace car. There are reasons for that.
As I've gotten older, my driving has slowed down. Don't get me wrong; I have a history of wild driving, and the driving record to prove it. Adam thinks I drive like an old lady now. Somedays, though, the temperature is just right, the windows are down, and I'm rocking out and hitting the gas. I'll be zooming along and then have to slam on my breaks because some jerk in front of me is actually going the speed limit. After I hit the brakes and take a deep breath, I usually see a police officer on the side of the road. Then I thank God for putting the pace car in front of me and saving me from a ticket or a wreck.
I think God often puts pace cars in front of me to slow me down. Sometimes my pace car is one of my elderly friends. I'll go over to Jo's house, and time will stand still. Sometimes it's one of my children, who bring a toy to me and remind me that there are more important activities than housework. Sometimes it's a stranger who offers a small act of kindness when I'm struggling.
Even as a stay-at-home mom, my life runs a break-neck speeds. I am grateful when I am forced to slow down and appreciate life. Pace cars are blessings.
Before the race starts, they have a few warm-up laps, where the drivers drive around the speedway behind a pace car. They're not allowed to pass up the pace car. There are reasons for that.
As I've gotten older, my driving has slowed down. Don't get me wrong; I have a history of wild driving, and the driving record to prove it. Adam thinks I drive like an old lady now. Somedays, though, the temperature is just right, the windows are down, and I'm rocking out and hitting the gas. I'll be zooming along and then have to slam on my breaks because some jerk in front of me is actually going the speed limit. After I hit the brakes and take a deep breath, I usually see a police officer on the side of the road. Then I thank God for putting the pace car in front of me and saving me from a ticket or a wreck.
I think God often puts pace cars in front of me to slow me down. Sometimes my pace car is one of my elderly friends. I'll go over to Jo's house, and time will stand still. Sometimes it's one of my children, who bring a toy to me and remind me that there are more important activities than housework. Sometimes it's a stranger who offers a small act of kindness when I'm struggling.
Even as a stay-at-home mom, my life runs a break-neck speeds. I am grateful when I am forced to slow down and appreciate life. Pace cars are blessings.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
A Primer on Grocery Shopping
When I was a kid, my grandma would send us little envelopes in the mail. Sometimes she wouldn't send them, she'd just hand them to my mom when we visited. Malcolm Gladwell, author of The Tipping Point, would have called her a coupon maven. She was always on the lookout for good coupons and would remember what products our family used so she could send us the coordinating coupons. Sometimes the coupons came in your birthday card, which always made us roll our eyes. What everyone wants for their birthday is coupons!
Every Sunday afternoon growing up, my parents had a debate. We'd just finished service at the Baptist church and they couldn't decide if they wanted a nap first or eat lunch first. We rotated, but one thing we didn't rotate on was the activities afterward. Everyone sat on the couch and went through the Sunday paper. My dad would read the news, and my mom, sister, and I would go through the salespapers and cut coupons. I remember getting tired of the activity as I got older and I started to rebel. I stopped cutting the edges off the coupons, leaving a white border. I was hard core.
My mom taught me math by helping me to calculating discounts off the clothes we bought. We bought everything on sale, and when we took our outfits up to the register, we knew what to expect from the 50% off sale.
When I was in college, I often went grocery shopping with my grandma. She taught me new tips on shopping, like how to pick a cashier. She usually chose men who looked kind of dumb. They didn't check her expiration dates on her coupons and she could save more money. She taught me how to slip an expired coupon in with all your regular coupons. She taught me the rules of coupon doubling and tripling. I remember her beaming from ear to ear when I would check out and only owe $20.
Some of Grandma's tips don't work any more. I tend to chose the smarter-looking cashiers now because they will override the register if the coupon doesn't ring up. I'm always careful to buy exactly what the coupons tells me to, but sometimes the register still beeps. If the cashier isn't very smart, they get confused and call the manager. You can't use expired coupons any more, either. The computers eliminated that.
As a stay-at-home mom, a large part of my time is spent getting ready for the grocery store. I have a team of shoppers that help me, too. My grandfather and my blind friend, Jo, both save their Sunday coupons for me. My grandfather goes through and picks the right set of coupons for me. Jo, who I suspect subscribes to the paper solely for the obituaries, throws anything that looks couponish into a bag for me. I appreciate both of them because I can often buy multiple items and have a coupon for each one.
My mother-in-law, Sarita, is in on the game, too. She usually calls me on Sunday afternoon to alert me to good coupons in the paper that week. When I was working I was always a week or two behind on my clipping, and sometimes missed good ones. Sarita clips all the coupons she needs and then saves the rest in a bag for me. I have a special coupon drawer for her at our house. Every time we see each other, we trade sacks of coupons.
This last year, with the loss of my paycheck, it has become even more important for me to save money on the grocery bill. I've started studying the grocery store ads, and now "grocery hop" to different stores for different products. On a typical shopping day, we might go to five different stores for groceries. This is no small task for a single adult, but when you add two small children, it nearly drives me to the insane asylum. I can tell you where the bathroom is in any grocery store on my side of Fort Worth. I don't know if she really needs it or if she gets entertained frustrating her mom, but Claire can use the potty four times in one grocery store.
I do not bribe my children to behave in the store, but I do feed them. If I buy deli meat, I always make sure to get a sample for Claire and Paul. At Tom Thumb, they allow each child to have an apple, banana, orange, or balloon for free. If they're eating, they are happy.
Here's a few time-tested tips from me, a third generation grocery store maven:
1. Albertson's, Kroger, and Tom Thumb triple the face value of a coupon up to 39 cents. They double it up to 50 cents. Beyond that it is face value only.
2. At Walmart, coupons are worth their face value only. I do find Walmart grocery stores to have cheaper prices if you are not using a coupon, but I've done the math. If you are using coupons, traditional grocery stores are better.
3. Tom Thumb is more expensive on certain items, but if I'm depressed and need good customer service, I go there.
4. Albertson's is cheapest on meat. They have ridiculous sales where you can buy one package of steaks and get two free. You would think it would be bad meat, but it's delicious! Watch their salepaper for the coupons.
5. If you forgot your store-specific coupons at your house, go to customer service. They keep them behind the counter.
6. Sales start every Wednesday, but sometimes they have weekend-only deals.
7. On Hulen Street in Fort Worth, at Tom Thumb, the bathroom is in the pharmacy. At Albertson's, it's in produce. At Kroger, it's in the meat department.
It's a lot of work, but it's worth it. Last week I spent $89 for two weeks worth of groceries. I love looking at my receipt at the end. I usually save about 25 percent with coupons and sales. Sometimes I get into big money and save up to 30 percent or more.
My grandma doesn't cut coupons as much anymore. She finds it to be too much work for just her and my grandpa. Every time I see her, she is proud to hear my war stories from the grocery store. It's a battle against manufacturer's profit, and they don't make a lot from me. I'm a war veteran.
Every Sunday afternoon growing up, my parents had a debate. We'd just finished service at the Baptist church and they couldn't decide if they wanted a nap first or eat lunch first. We rotated, but one thing we didn't rotate on was the activities afterward. Everyone sat on the couch and went through the Sunday paper. My dad would read the news, and my mom, sister, and I would go through the salespapers and cut coupons. I remember getting tired of the activity as I got older and I started to rebel. I stopped cutting the edges off the coupons, leaving a white border. I was hard core.
My mom taught me math by helping me to calculating discounts off the clothes we bought. We bought everything on sale, and when we took our outfits up to the register, we knew what to expect from the 50% off sale.
When I was in college, I often went grocery shopping with my grandma. She taught me new tips on shopping, like how to pick a cashier. She usually chose men who looked kind of dumb. They didn't check her expiration dates on her coupons and she could save more money. She taught me how to slip an expired coupon in with all your regular coupons. She taught me the rules of coupon doubling and tripling. I remember her beaming from ear to ear when I would check out and only owe $20.
Some of Grandma's tips don't work any more. I tend to chose the smarter-looking cashiers now because they will override the register if the coupon doesn't ring up. I'm always careful to buy exactly what the coupons tells me to, but sometimes the register still beeps. If the cashier isn't very smart, they get confused and call the manager. You can't use expired coupons any more, either. The computers eliminated that.
As a stay-at-home mom, a large part of my time is spent getting ready for the grocery store. I have a team of shoppers that help me, too. My grandfather and my blind friend, Jo, both save their Sunday coupons for me. My grandfather goes through and picks the right set of coupons for me. Jo, who I suspect subscribes to the paper solely for the obituaries, throws anything that looks couponish into a bag for me. I appreciate both of them because I can often buy multiple items and have a coupon for each one.
My mother-in-law, Sarita, is in on the game, too. She usually calls me on Sunday afternoon to alert me to good coupons in the paper that week. When I was working I was always a week or two behind on my clipping, and sometimes missed good ones. Sarita clips all the coupons she needs and then saves the rest in a bag for me. I have a special coupon drawer for her at our house. Every time we see each other, we trade sacks of coupons.
This last year, with the loss of my paycheck, it has become even more important for me to save money on the grocery bill. I've started studying the grocery store ads, and now "grocery hop" to different stores for different products. On a typical shopping day, we might go to five different stores for groceries. This is no small task for a single adult, but when you add two small children, it nearly drives me to the insane asylum. I can tell you where the bathroom is in any grocery store on my side of Fort Worth. I don't know if she really needs it or if she gets entertained frustrating her mom, but Claire can use the potty four times in one grocery store.
I do not bribe my children to behave in the store, but I do feed them. If I buy deli meat, I always make sure to get a sample for Claire and Paul. At Tom Thumb, they allow each child to have an apple, banana, orange, or balloon for free. If they're eating, they are happy.
Here's a few time-tested tips from me, a third generation grocery store maven:
1. Albertson's, Kroger, and Tom Thumb triple the face value of a coupon up to 39 cents. They double it up to 50 cents. Beyond that it is face value only.
2. At Walmart, coupons are worth their face value only. I do find Walmart grocery stores to have cheaper prices if you are not using a coupon, but I've done the math. If you are using coupons, traditional grocery stores are better.
3. Tom Thumb is more expensive on certain items, but if I'm depressed and need good customer service, I go there.
4. Albertson's is cheapest on meat. They have ridiculous sales where you can buy one package of steaks and get two free. You would think it would be bad meat, but it's delicious! Watch their salepaper for the coupons.
5. If you forgot your store-specific coupons at your house, go to customer service. They keep them behind the counter.
6. Sales start every Wednesday, but sometimes they have weekend-only deals.
7. On Hulen Street in Fort Worth, at Tom Thumb, the bathroom is in the pharmacy. At Albertson's, it's in produce. At Kroger, it's in the meat department.
It's a lot of work, but it's worth it. Last week I spent $89 for two weeks worth of groceries. I love looking at my receipt at the end. I usually save about 25 percent with coupons and sales. Sometimes I get into big money and save up to 30 percent or more.
My grandma doesn't cut coupons as much anymore. She finds it to be too much work for just her and my grandpa. Every time I see her, she is proud to hear my war stories from the grocery store. It's a battle against manufacturer's profit, and they don't make a lot from me. I'm a war veteran.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Better than a Barbie shoe.
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