The Joys of Motherhood

In conversation with a friend recently, she marveled at my motherhood. "I don't know how you do it," she said. Being a parent seems like a daunting task to her.

It's true. Being a parent requires everything you have and more. In this day and age, parents are becoming more honest and more vocal about the difficulties of parenthood. Perfect facades are being laid down for real discussion about struggling to raise children. Books and blogs focused on frustrations of parenthood are published daily. I'm glad that parenting conversations are shifting toward more truth, but this shift also seems to shift toward more negative discussion. I want to be an honest voice to remind us of joy.

When complaining about the struggles of potty-training, we need to remember the joy and hilarity of the Potty Dance. Potty-training was the hardest parenting task I have faced yet. I was often frustrated and downright mad. But I also laughed until I couldn't breathe when my children made it to the bathroom in time and started succeeding. Everyone in the house stopped what they were doing to dance in celebration.

Homework is hard and some days my daughter comes home not wanting to do it at all. "Can I please just have some play time and then do my homework? Why do I have to do this?" Sometimes I have to firmly redirect her back to her task. Without homework, though, light bulb moments often escape my notice. When we regularly engage in educational activities, I get to see the light in Claire and Paul's eyes as they grasp a concept for the first time.

Having kids is like being members of an exclusive club. My husband Adam and I have shared private jokes for years, but now we have four people in on the joke instead of just two. At the grocery store Paul can say a line or make a face and as soon as I understand the reference, I find myself laughing out loud. In the church pew, Adam often says something to us that makes us all shake with laughter.

Without children, reading is a solitary activity. At our house, even if Adam is reading his own book, he will soon find at least one child in his lap. Bedtime stories are a sacred ritual. Snuggling while reading a good book is ecstasy. On times when I have a few moments to read my own book, I feel strange if there isn't a little person next to me or in my lap.

Being a parent adds newness to every aspect of your world. Items on a shelf that I have long overlooked now spark wonder and curiosity in a child. My daily routines are examined and discussed. Nothing escapes notice. It is exhausting, and sometimes I just want to complete a simple task like getting a glass of water without explaining how the water filter works. But if no one is there to ask, I sometimes forget the magic of everyday life.

I love being a mother. I overwhelmed with love and gratitude when I am walking and suddenly find a small hand clasped in my own. I often wake in the middle of the night to find someone has sneaked in and a little arm is draped over me in affection. I regularly have reason to jump on a trampoline. I
pick dandelions and blow the seeds from the stem. I've always been goofy, but it's much more socially acceptable to be goofy with children. Yesterday I was in a sword fight that didn't have any bloodshed. Outgoing children means friends are collected everywhere, and it is rare to leave Wal-Mart without a new acquaintance.

The list goes on and on. Motherhood adds a layer of intensity to all aspects of my life, but it also adds a huge layer of joy.

Thankful Tuesday

It's officially fall weather around here, and I'm savoring it for the brief moment it's around.  Spring never sneaks up on me; I am always anticipating it beginning in February.  Fall, however, always arrives when I'm not looking.  One weekend we'll be splashing in the pool and the next weekend without warning, the pool will be closed until next summer.  Without fail, I'm surprised every year.  Our pool floats still wait hopefully around the pool, but they are about to start collecting fall leaves.
Today I am thankful for:
1. Fancy hot tea that makes me feel warm inside and luxurious.
Last summer on an impulse, we accepted some samples from a Teavana store.  We walked out $50 poorer, but rich in tea and accessories. Now the whole family is hooked on delicious fresh tea. I start brewing it every afternoon in our special tea brewer and the kids and I get started sipping.  Adam comes home to a fresh, hot cup most days.  It's a luxury we all share and relish.
2.  A handy husband.
Last week we received much rain and the roof started leaking.  I put a bucket under the leak and called it a day.  Adam, however, knew that wasn't good enough and crawled through the attic and on the roof multiple times to stop the leak until a professional can come fix it.  He also left work to rescue me when my battery died.
3.  Happy kids
Nothing warms my heart more than to be in the kitchen cooking and listening to the kids jump on the trampoline laughing so hard they lose their breath.
4. A plan in place
Now that I know I'm going back to school, I can start preparing for my next great adventure.  I'm doing a little bit on my application every day.
5.  Friends that I really love
I am so blessed to have several people in my life that I truly love.  Thank you for being my friend.
6. Laughter
It seems that the last week has been extra giggly around here. Adam has the power to crack me up just by saying one word or looking at me strangely.  Paul is working on his funny faces, too, and on the way to church, Sunday, we were all rolling at his sense of humor.  Claire has the ability to make hilarious connections between seemingly dissimilar people and events and she stops me in my tracks laughing.  I am thankful for joy that interrupts my routines.
7.  Halloween costumes
We've all got our costumes around here and we've been wearing them already.  A friend stopped by the house two days ago and I answered the door in my fox ears and tail.  He didn't even blink.  I love that no one thinks twice when I'm wearing something ridiculous.  Want to know why I'm a fox this year?  Click here.
8. Trick and treat
We've been "booing" the neighbors on our street.  Claire and I made a giant double batch of chocolate chip cookies on Saturday.  Claire and Paul have been secretly delivering them plate by plate to neighbors with a sign that says "You've been booed!"  It is so cute to see them sneaking up to the doors to deliver the treats.  Walking down the block and noticing all the posted signs from recipients of our treats makes me happy.
9.  Casa Manana
We had the opportunity to go see Dora Live! on Saturday at Casa Manana. The kids loved it and have been running around the house singing songs from the stage production.  Of course they don't sing the songs normal; there's always a goofy twist, but that's what makes it hilarious.
10. Grace for missing shoes
This morning Paul's world was coming to a crashing halt as leaving time approached and he couldn't find a matching pair of shoes.  We all looked in earnest but no pair was to be found.  His room is a disaster area and he was suffering the consequences.  Claire looked in her room and found three shoes, all different pairs.  Paul found several single shoes in various parts of the  house.  I started picking up and sorting toys, finding a few flip flops, but no matching pairs.  Just when he was lacing up one yellow and one black shoe, I went to the car and found a pair for him.  This afternoon he'll be cleaning his room, but at least his tears were down to a sniffle by the time he walked into the school building.

How I got here and where I'm headed

Growing up, my sister and I often chose occupations to role play.  I distinctly remember being a teacher and a fashion designer for two.  When I grew up I was going to be a comedienne.  No, I was going to be a
fashion designer because I was really into fashion.  My sister and I had a few scraps of fabric that we re-purposed over and over as a dress, a skirt, a veil, a hair tie, and on and on.  Plus, I had the super-awesome fashion designer play kit where you create a fashion with plastic plates and then place a piece of paper on top and rub the design onto the page with a crayon.
Early on I discovered writing and that I had a knack for it. Some stories I wrote in elementary school won a few campus awards.  So in middle school I was an honors student, and honors English was my favorite.  My teacher, Mrs. Bell, encouraged us to write, and write, and write. I had already been toting around a diary with a half-broken lock, but now I started writing in a journal.  Mrs. Bell also started a school newspaper, and I was a reporter.

www.sxu.hu

In high school, I took journalism class for all four years. My teacher Miss Hale taught me everything from how to write a lead to how to lay out a newsletter. We were just converting from taping down a layout to designing it on the computer. I loved journalism so much I remember staying up at school voluntarily until 11 p.m.  The night custodian, Lewis, was a special friend of mine.
In college, I continued on the journalism track. I was a reporter and editor for the Tarrant County Junior College paper.  With my associate's degree in hand, my best friend Adam and I transferred to the University of Texas at Arlington and I continued my journalism major and found my home in the student publications office.  Adam majored in engineering and we stayed best friends; enjoying the world through our vastly different viewpoints and weird senses of humor.  Then our relationship shifted and the week after we graduated college, we got married.
Just as we were approaching college graduation, the newspaper industry halted. Even though I  had contacts who would gladly hire me at several of the local papers, no one could. I was working part time at Half Price Books then, and I loved it. So I stayed there for a while until Adam encouraged me to do something with that degree I had earned. I ended up going back to school for an emergency teacher certification.
Then I taught first grade for six years.  When I was pregnant with Paul, I realized that I didn't want to be a teacher while my children grew up, and Adam and I decided I could be a stay-at-home mom.
Two years into being a stay-at-home mom, I started looking at part-time jobs to help make ends meet.  Nothing was fitting; I couldn't get an interview.  I also couldn't figure out what I would do with the children when I worked.  Adam came home from a church meeting one night and said that the church had to eliminate the communications position and they didn't have anyone to do a church newsletter anymore.  Immediately I knew that was the job for me.  A deal was brokered where I would be paid the exact amount I was seeking to pay bills and my children could attend the church preschool for free.
When Claire went into first grade, Paul started attending preschool full-time and I started working as a literacy tutor on my days off.  I love tutoring because it's pure teaching.  I have a several small groups who listen intently to what I say and work hard.  If anyone starts slacking or not paying attention, I send them back to their homeroom.  Tutoring two days a week let me know, though, that I don't want to be a full-time teacher any more.
Now Paul is in kindergarten and I've been restless.  I'm still working two jobs, which suits me well. I spend alternating Fridays with my grandfather at his retirement home.  Adam and I are finished birthing babies, so I'm looking forward to the next phase of my life.
I seriously considered getting a masters degree in library science and becoming a librarian. I did research and contacted various schools and districts about it.  It just didn't feel right, though, and the more I thought and prayed about it, the less appealing it seemed.
What I love, what makes me feel like a better person, what fills me up, what gives me something to think about for days on end, is talking to people about the intersection between faith and real life. I joyfully recognize God's presence and the power of love in common situations. I love listening to people tell me about their day; and what they struggle with.  I love reading the Bible and making sense of it.  I love recognizing all the ways that God is involved in my life and how people can complete everyday tasks with a sense of doing something holy.  I love seeking people out to encourage them and building relationships.  I love the power of story and the parallels between modern life and the struggles Bible people had.
So where do I go from here?
I've been doing a lot of research, praying, and consulting people in different jobs.  I've been weighing my options. I've discovered a couple of jobs that I didn't even know existed.  After a hard struggle, I decided that I want to go to seminary.  Last week I toured Brite Divinity School on the TCU Campus and I felt like I was at home.  Now I'm starting to work on my application to enter into a program to earn a Masters of Divinity degree.  I'm not sure what I'll do with that yet; the world may look different when I graduate.  I could be a communications specialist in the United Methodist Church.  I could be a pastor.  I could be a writer.  My job could be to write about the intersection of faith and the real world.
Of course I'm a long way from being accepted into the program; the application is no small thing, but at least I know what direction I'm headed. I smile when I think back on all the roads I've traveled to get to where I am and how they all have helped develop me into the person I am today.  I gratefully step forward into this new phase of my life filled with hope and excitement.