Two "Aha!" moments this week

Twice this week I was upset with myself and figured out I was the problem.  I had an "aha!" moment twice.  Here's what hit me on the head this week:

1. The need for community, again.
One of my personal soapboxes, and something I've blogged about a few times, is what I believe is an intrinsic need for community.  I think everyone has this need.  What happens is that when a person separates themselves from a support network, they start looking inward.  Then they only see themselves and their problems become the only problems in the world and they magnify.  If one disconnects with society, small issues become great big ones.  I see this again and again in my world and see people reaching out less and less because they can write on one another's "wall" or text each other. 

The problem is that I can easily see this issue in others, but recently failed to see it in myself.  Because it's now summer, I'm less involved at church and socially.  I decided to take some time off various groups that I'm in.  But Wednesday night, I made myself go see a movie with some friends I hadn't hung out with in a while.  I was overwhelmed with a sense of love and friendship and had to remind myself that just because it's summer, I still need to be engaged.  It's humbling to hear about a friend's sick baby or ill grandparent and be reminded that I am not the only one in the world with problems.  I love it when I get bonked on the head and realize, it's not all about me.

2.  The need to advocate for myself
Yesterday I was in a hurry at Costco.  We were having company last night and I had to buy some last minute supplies.  When I got up to the register, one of the front end managers was leaning on the check-writing stand talking to the cashier's assistant/bagger/boxer/whatever you want to call him.  Instead of asking her to move, I politely and quietly waited while she finished her conversation and got out of the way.  Then I stepped up to the stand and wrote my check.  Once I was finished checking out, I realized that my items were not boxed and that the guy hadn't even asked me if I wanted boxes.  I was mad because I had a lot of items.  But then I was mad at myself because if I had spoken up at the beginning and called the manager to task, the helper would have been paying attention to me instead of her and I would have been happy with the end result.  So again I got bonked in the head and had an "aha" moment.

This week I will pay attention and advocate for myself.

Hospitality Head-On

I have shared before that one of my Lenten practices this year is hospitality. I'm really making an effort to talk to others. I've been doing well and making new friends in unusual places. Saturday I shared a laugh with a lady at Wal-Mart whose husband was yelling down the aisle at her, frustrated because he couldn't find the right kind of Coke and because he had children with him. Adam acted the same way when I made him come to Wal-Mart with me. So, I counted that as a victory, but then I realized I was running out of time and needed to get home. I still had Costco to get to. So when I was at Costco, I was weaving around people with my humongous basket and checking items off my list as quickly as possible. I had tunnel vision and was feeling important and accomplished. "Look at me! I just passed right by those samples! Oh yeah. I haven't bought any impulse items! I'm in a hurry and I can't be distracted! I'm important and focused!" That worked great, until I was in the produce room and literally ran right into a lady. (With my body, not my cart, thank God.) I was so embarrassed and apologized repeatedly, and then I realized it was Stella, a friend from church! I apologized again and then explained to her how busy and important I was before I fled the scene. Then I realized that had I taken one more minute out of my day, I wouldn't have run into her, and I could have actually had a conversation with her about how she was doing, and not about how busy and important I was feeling. I get the Grrrrrr.....

Being a Badass

Recently, the kids and I were on TV as we protested the proposed closing of our favorite library. We went to the city council and we marched in a protest march. We were on so many channels that being on TV started being mundane.
I got word that the city council had withdrawn it's proposal to close the library, so even though it won't be official until they adopt the budget tomorrow, I know our library will stay open. It's an empowering feeling, and I've been using it.
Since the march I've become confrontational where I've felt it might do some good.
At the park by our house, I saw a group of four teenagers sharing something they were smoking that smelled suspicious. They also were all drinking out of the same Sprite bottle. We've had an increase of grafitti at the park and the school that shares the park's land was having a PTA event. I decided to fight back. I approached them with my stroller, three-year old, and tiny dog and asked them to leave. I told them I didn't know what they were doing, and I didn't want to know, but that was a park for kids and they needed to take their business elsewhere. Three of them left immediately, but one stood her ground. I called the police, but before they could get there, the lone girl ran off as well. Unfortunately my glasses aren't strong enough to let me read license plates 50 ft. in front of me, so they got away.
Adam said I did a good deed, and that we should stand up for our neighborhood. I was upset because I'm not used to confronting people, and all that mess ended up taking the time I was going to go swimming with the kids. So I got the punks out of the park, but my kids suffered. I'm still debating whether that was worth it.
The next day Adam's godparents were in town and I took his godmother, Kaa, to Costco. We were enjoying the Costco feast, where you can sample food on every aisle. The last sample before the checkout was some fountain of youth in a wine bottle, non-alcoholic juices to make you look younger. Kaa tried it and nearly spit it out. "This is awful!" she said. "I can't believe anyone would buy this!" The lady who was offering the samples scoffed and said under her breath, "You wouldn't buy it, because you don't understand what it is for." I thought that was rude, but continued on our way. Unfortunately, the employee was an older woman who needed to drink more of the juice she was sampling. She also needed some hearing aids. When another employee approached her to relieve her of her duties, she started complaining to him in a loud voice, "Stupid people, don't understand what this juice is about..." I know she was trying to speak quietly, but she wasn't successful. I whirled around and approached her. "She is not stupid," I said, referring to Kaa. "You work in customer service, and you should not be calling your potential customers stupid!" The old lady backed down and said she called Kaa silly. "No, I heard exactly what you said." She apologized, and I was about to call her manager and complain, but Kaa didn't want me to. She said she felt sorry for anyone who had to sell something that tasted so awful.
Then I started feeling guilty about chewing out an old lady. I think I'll go back to being good-ole-easy-going me.