Self-Care and Ice Cream

Recently I was talking to friend of mine who is single and childless. She was recounting an experience she had at the grocery store the night before. She witnessed a mother eating a giant ice cream cone, a parade of kids trailing behind her begging for a bite. "No!" She shouted at them. "It's my ice cream and I already gave you a bite!"
My friend was horrified at this cruelty. How could anyone buy a cone for themselves and not one for their children?
Of course I don't condone this behavior. However, I can see where the mother is coming from.
Sometimes as mothers we feel a little spent and empty. I find the same problem happens in those who are caregivers in other situations, like teachers or health care providers.  Anyone whose life focus is serving others is susceptible.  You feel like you give and give and give and so when something comes your way, whether it be an ice cream cone, a coupon, a piece of cake, or a pack of pencils, you covet it dramatically.
When I was a full-time teacher we often had cake in the lounge for various occasions.  Several teachers would visit the lounge multiple times and get more pieces of the same cake because they felt they worked hard and deserved a reward.
The problem is that the ice cream or extra cake doesn't fill the person's need for acceptance and appreciation and renewal. Many of us don't know how to care for our selves. Self-care is something I am slowly learning to do.
At the end of last summer I found myself in that place, feeling as if every moment of my day was in service to someone else. I know that's not actually true; I have a supportive husband and many friends. But I felt like I was empty and a little lost.
I had lunch with a friend and we decided that it was okay for me to take one time a week to do something for me. That permission I gave myself changed my perspective.
My Sarah events take many different forms, but I try to do something once a week for me. Sometimes it means I take a long lunch with a friend. Sometimes it means I spend some time reading a book. I have started scheduling regular coffee or dinner dates with friends. This week my event was spending an evening at our church listening and chatting with friends we've known for years. I also do a lot of journaling, prayer, and I'm more intentional about what I read.  I also write long emails to loved ones.
Giving myself permission to stop work and caring for others for even a few minutes has been freeing to me.
Currently I'm working through the book The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal and although I'm only on chapter 2, I'm finding this book resonates with my place in life right now.  (If anyone wants to read this as well, I'd be interested in discussing it with you!)
When I'm at my Sarah-event I am joyful and light. Once I get back to my real life with kids and jobs and studies, I am more willing to serve and more present. Once I've taken care of myself, I'm happy and able to share my ice cream, down to the last bite of cone.