The End of Summer: Change

Today is the last weekday of summer, and we are all rejoicing around here.  We've had fun, but each member of our family functions better on a normal routine.

This last week has been difficult and more than once I've seen myself in a frustrated mom at a store. I had the chance to go to Whole Foods Market by myself this week, and passed a mom who was looking at her son telling her, "You are just driving me crazy today! If you can't get it together, we're going to have to go home, because I just cannot deal with it!"

I'd like to tell you that sounded foreign to me, that I haven't ever said that, much less this week, but I would be lying. I said about the same thing yesterday when I was ordering at Chick-fil-A and Paul felt the need to jump onto the counter and put his feet on the same place they serve food.

Claire and Paul playing Headbands two days after the car door incident.

Change is coming, and we are all ready for it. The anticipation of back to school has me counting down the minutes and the kids ricocheting off of anything they can bump into.

On Monday we had some fun at home, went bowling, and then went grocery shopping. I go to several stores to get the best prices, so the kids were frustrated toward the end. At Aldi, Paul jumped repeatedly onto and off the bagging counter. When we left, he decided he needed to go into Claire's side of the car, even though his door works perfectly fine. She was not okay with that, so she slammed the door.  His finger tips were still in the door when she shut it, and for a few seconds he was screaming and I was struggling to understand what was going on.

His hand was fine after ice; it didn't even bruise. I told Claire that it was good she was in the backseat and I was in the front because she would receive the spanking of her life if I wasn't driving. Instead of spanking her, I called Adam and asked for a solution. He came up with a great one. For the next 24 hours, Claire had to serve Paul. She had to buckle him up in his seat belt, she had to open doors, she had to draw his bathwater, make his bed, pour his cereal and milk, and on and on. She was frustrated with it, and Paul was eating it up. By the next morning he was telling her things like, "I need to use the restroom. Can you please come lift the toilet seat?"  I assured Claire that was not part of her punishment and that he could do it himself.

Last night was Meet the Teacher night and we were pleased to deliver our school supplies and shake the teachers' hands. Paul will have the same teacher Claire did in first grade (Hooray!) and Claire has the teachers we anticipated (also exciting!). Claire wrote a letter to her new third grade teacher to introduce herself.  It made me smile to see what she thought was important to include. "I don't think I'll say that I'm smart, because they'll read this and know. I'm going to write about the dogs."

I love my children. I enjoy spending time with them. I also love them in the normal pattern that the school day provides.

So starting Monday, we'll get back to our full-swing routine. Paul will be in first grade, Claire's in third, and I will be tutoring part time as well as working at a church part time as well as taking two graduate courses. It sounds insane, but somehow I have faith it will all work out.

I've also linked this blog post up at Five Minute Friday. Find it here.

Five Minute Friday: Bloom

Each Friday, blogger mom Lisa Jo Baker invites writers to write on a prompt for five minutes and link up to her blog.  Since I've been out of my writing rhythm, I thought I'd contribute today.  Want to read her stuff? Click here.

Bloom

2014 has been a year of big changes for me. I entered seminary and we left our church home for my new job. I started recognizing my emotional and social needs and acting to fulfill them. I began to dream out loud and start working toward some life goals. I accepted help for tuition, childcare, and Sarah care. I can honestly say that I am happier today than I was one year ago today. I feel like I'm beginning to bloom.

I'm on the horizon of the rest of my life and I am so happy to be here. Summer is a difficult time for me emotionally. I don't have a set routine, I'm with the kids 24/7, and I feel adrift. My momentum from spring has carried over into summer, and I'm more grounded this summer than in years past.

One day a week, I schedule a stay-at-home day and we stick to it. We don't leave the house at all. This has given us all breathing space as well as time to play with ignored toys and complete some household projects. On the eve of our stay-at-home day, I remind the kids we won't be leaving the house the next day and they always cheer. I was reminded of the importance of our home when we went to Sea World this summer. Claire said, "This is my favorite place on Earth after our home!" I am so pleased that our children both recognize the home as a place of safety, comfort, and love.

I started my new job right before the end of the school year, so going to church to work or worship still has an allure of newness about it. I'm learning new tasks and the kids haven't explored every corner yet. One day a week a kind friend plays with them and another day a week I bring them to work with me.

This week I took some time to go back to Brite Divinity School to take care of housekeeping matters and remind myself that I am a student. I ordered my textbooks for the fall semester and delighted in the exciting titles, Our Search for Spirituality, African-American Spirituality, and others. I love basking in the learning environment there and surrounding myself with intelligent people of faith.  I can't wait for classes to resume in fall.

Since my entry into seminary was a suprise to everyone, even me, I didn't enter graduate school with a savings account to pay for tuition. I am baking my way through my degree, selling banana bread to raise tuition money. I am so thankful for friends that blessed me by buying a loaf of banana bread or offering a contribution. My first semester was debt-free and I am a few hundred dollars away from baking my way through a debt-free fall.  This week I've baked about 15 loaves.

Every summer I am in a frenzy to create new activities to keep us busy.  This year I've slowed down, and we have all benefitted from that. I'm not breaking my neck to rush us to an educational activity across town. I'm not rearranging our schedule to squeeze in an inconvenient trip to a local museum. This week I had planned on taking the kids to the art museum, but they both told me they'd rather stay home, so we did.  I've released my grip a bit on the schedule and life hasn't fallen into chaos. I've let many fun opportunities pass us by without regret.

The result of this throwing caution to the wind has been a happier home, blooming with life and love and smelling like banana bread. Now I'm off to bake some more.