Honoring My Commitment to Creation

Last summer I read the book, Where'd You Go, Bernadette?
For those of you that haven't read it, it's the story of a mother that goes missing and the daughter that pieces together emails to find her. I wasn't drawn into the plot like I assumed I would be. I was drawn into the theme of creation.

In the book, Bernadette loses her sense of self when she stops creating. Before she became a mother, she was a famous architect. Then she has a daughter, the family moves, and she begins worrying about things like her status among the other mothers at her daughter's private school. She has a need to create art and when she isn't creating, she's losing her sense of who she is.

Last week when Anne Lamott was in Fort Worth, one audience member asked her about art. She said she was an artist but has become busy focusing on one activity or another and hasn't had time for her art. Her question was along the lines of, "Is this okay? What should I do?"

Anne replied with her classic responses of working at the same time every day, allowing yourself to make crap sometimes, and just doing it. She told the woman not to let her life pass by and to find time for art. All of that was nearly scripted. I'd heard it all before from multiple sources.  But then she said something profound that is still rolling around in my head.

She said, "You need to honor your commitment to creation."

On the surface, she simply meant that if you identify yourself as an artist or a writer that you need to make space in your life for your art. If that is what you are, you need to make sure that is what you do. Not necessarily as a full-time job, but as an integral component to your life.  Just like in the book Bernadette eventually realizes that she is not her best self when she doesn't create.  This is a good message and one that can resonate with all of us.

But then I revisited it.  What if I thought of those words in a different way?

"You need to honor your commitment to Creation."

Creation, as in the world, as in being part of the world, as in recognizing your role as a cog on the great machine of life. Since I call myself a writer, I have made a commitment to Creation, the world, and all the people in it, that I will create writing.

When I look at the phrase that way, my commitment takes on another level of meaning. Somehow this little blog is important to Creation. Somehow my creating helps the world be a better place in a small, sometimes microscopic way. But how awesome is that? When I create, it's honoring my commitment to be a writer, but it's also honoring my commitment to give back to the human race. No matter how small, when we all give back with our gifts, together we make it beautiful.

Creating community, Anne Lamott, and Hugs

Yesterday my favorite author, Anne Lamott, came to Fort Worth.  She was here in April and I was excited about that for weeks before the event and weeks after the event. When you love an artists' work and then get to meet that person, and even connect with them through a hug, it makes your connection to the work even stronger.  This time was no different.
The talk started at 7, but I assumed there would be thousands of people there, so I showed up at 5. I did this at her last appearance, too, and ended up making a new friend.  This time I knew what to expect, so I was less anxious and nervous and just buzzing with enthusiasm.  The only people at the event when I showed up were the organizers, who were arranging chairs, cookies on trays, and fall displays.  They all laughed at me and my excitement.  That's perfectly fine. These people were somehow responsible for bringing my favorite author to town, so I wanted to show them my gratitude and excitement.
Shortly after I arrived, another crazed fan walked in. I had positioned myself by the door so I could see everyone coming in and introduce myself.  I greeted the people who came in the door to be greeters, which was pretty funny.  The new crazed fan was Carol and she had driven for nearly two hours to see Anne Lamott.  We became fast friends.  As more people arrived, I introduced everyone to everyone and pretty soon the entire atrium area was laughing and smiling. As 7:00 approached, everyone was respectful of Carol and my wait and excitement and they all lined up behind us to go into the church's sanctuary.
By the time the doors opened, I had made at least 20 new friends, and had been a part of at least five meaningful conversations about faith and life.  All my new friends ended up sitting with my already friends and we filled a pew before we even had finished arriving.  As more people arrived that had planned to sit with us, we scooted down and talked with each other, swapping bits of our life stories.
This is what I love about church. This is a huge reason why I am headed to seminary. I believe in the gifts of community and I love connecting with people.  By the time the event began, there wasn't a distinction between new friends and old. We were all friends together. We were surrounded by love and were sharing infectious caring with one another.  I put on my jacket and I had a close friend plus the lady behind me helping me put my arm in the sleeve.  Just a simple action like putting on my jacket was infused with love.
Of course we all loved hearing Anne Lamott speak. My new friend Carol cried several times and then another new friend passed a kleenex box down the row.
After the event I said farewell to friends as they left and then I got in line to have a stack of books signed.  I gave Anne a gift of pens, a pencil pouch, bluebonnet seeds, a copy of my blog post about her, and a card that says, "You are beloved, precious child of God and beautiful to behold."  She loved, loved, loved it and even hugged me a good, long time.
***(I got the card idea from my friend Rev. Nancy, who passed them out during Bible study one night. I passed them out this year during Bible study and had leftovers. I was handing them out to my new friends like trading cards. Everyone loved them.  One of my new friends even had Anne sign her card so she could put it on her mirror.)
So on the day after the event, I am unsure what I loved most. Was it the excitement and anticipation? Was it the connection with new and already friends? Was it the sense of community we created? Was it Anne's speech? Was it the honor of speaking to her and offering her a gift? Was it knowing that some of my writing will be read by my favorite author? Was it getting a hug from so many people, including Anne Lamott?
I'm not sure, but I am sure I will be happy about this for a good, long time.

My Grandmother's Quilt and Anne Lamott

I found this quilt at my grandmother's house when my grandfather moved to an apartment.  It's hand made and hand-stitched and sturdy and beautiful.  This summer I let Claire keep it on her bed as a "summertime" comforter and the quilt survived jumping on the bed and forts and two children giggling.  Now that fall is here, I got Claire's regular blankets out of the closet and reclaimed this beauty.

It's got some gaps in it right now where stitches came undone, but I've been repairing it stitch by stitch while watching television or praying.  I know my grandmother would be delighted that my kids are loving and using this blanket, even though that meant needed repairs.

This week my favorite author Anne Lamott will be in Fort Worth again.  This is her second appearance here this year.  Her book tours often haven't made it to our area, so for her to come back to my hometown is an exciting honor.  She's currently promoting her new book, Stitches, which is supposed to be a companion to Help, Thanks, Wow.

What I love about Anne Lamott is her transparent honesty and strong faith.  She knows she's imperfect and needs regular divine intervention and she shares that.  So many people try to look good or sound right.  Honesty in imperfection is like a breath of fresh air.  I strive for it as well, but I'm still practicing being transparent about my shortcomings and all the grace I receive on a daily basis.

While I've been sitting on the couch stitching the holes together in this beautiful quilt, I've been thinking of the rich metaphors that action brings.  

I have to sit down to repair the quilt, just like sometimes I have to sit down to be repaired.  When I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I miss hands trying to help me or hug me.  I have to sit down to be repaired.

The string the I'm using to patch the pieces together is stronger than the original thread.  Similarly, when I fall apart, I come out of the repair stronger than before.  When I get overwhelmed with work, motherhood, or life in general, I have to be pulled back together.  Sometimes a friend helps me, sometimes a quiet prayer helps me, sometimes a walk by myself helps me.  Whatever it is that pulls me back together, though, patches me up stronger than I was before.

Each patch of this quilt has a story with it, just like each part of my life is a story.  Everyone's life is full of color, alternating between bright and dark, dull and glittery, busy patterns and calmness.  If you look too closely at one part you miss the beauty of the entire quilt of life.  When I miss the big picture, I miss beauty and how every part of life works together to weave a beautiful story.

I can't wait to meet Anne Lamott on Thursday and share with her what her story means to me and my grandma's quilt.  I can't wait to see the addition of new patches on my life quilt and how they make the blanket of life even more beautiful.

Bird by Bird, a book review

I discovered Anne Lamott when I was in college, working at Half Price Books.  I read Operating Instructions at the recommendation of a friend.  I loved it so much I still give it as a gift to new mothers.  I also started buying everything that Anne Lamott was tangentially related to.

One book of hers that has been staring me in the face since 2001 is Bird by Bird.  It's about writing, and I have been gearing myself up to read it for 12 years.  (I know this because it still has the HPB sticker with the date on it.)  After hearing her in person say, "Put your butt in the chair and write because today is all you have," I did just that.  I also decided now was the time to read this book.

The cover says the book is about writing, and truly, that's half of it.  The other half is about life and being real and immersed in reality, and paying attention.

Here are some quotes that resonated with me from the book:

She quotes G.K. Chesterton: "Hope is the power of being cheerful in circumstances we know to be desperate."

"Clutter is wonderfully fertile ground -- You can still discover new treasures under all those piles, clean things up, edit things out, fix things, get a grip."

"Geneen Roth says awareness is learning to keep yourself company.  And then learn to be more compassionate company, as if you were somebody you are fond of and wish to encourage."

"Perfection is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist's true friend.  What people somehow (inadvertently, I'm sure) forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here--and by extension, what we're supposed to be writing."

"Think of reverence as awe, as presence in openness to the world."

"There is ecstasy in paying attention....to see the world sacramentally, to see everything as an outward and visible sign of inward, invisible grace."

My absolute favorite quote is this one:

"A big heart is both a clumsy and delicate thing; it doesn't protect itself and it doesn't  hide.  It stands out, like a baby's fontanel, where you can see the soul pulse through.  You can see this pulse in them now."

Pure Awesomeness

Yesterday was pure awesomeness.  Today will be hard because I've got to be a test monitor at school, but the good part about that is that my job will be to walk up and down the hallway non-stop....good exercise, and I'll be able to remember and savor all the wonderful parts of my day yesterday.

We had our church staff random birthday party yesterday.  Yesterday was the fake birthday of Rev. Nancy and Sue.  The theme was Maxine and Paula went all out in thoughtful planning.  We all had a blast.

All day long I was distracted though, (I got five minutes of productive work done.) because Anne Lamott was coming to town!  Anne Lamott is one of my favorite authors.  She and Barbara Brown Taylor have the knack of speaking directly to me.  I couldn't wait to see her in person.

What I love about Anne is that she cusses and she loves Jesus.  No, really.  She is humble, honest, and real.

Anne was scheduled to speak at Arborlawn UMC at 6:30 p.m. I was so excited and so afraid it'd be a packed house (it was) that I arrived at 4:50.  They weren't letting anyone in the sanctuary, so I sat in the foyer.  The only other non-church member there at that early hour was a man named Mike who introduced himself and immediately asked me if I was a writer.  Weird.  He isn't a writer, but he wanted to know if I was. I told him no, but then he started telling me I should start journaling, and then I stopped him and corrected myself.  "I am a writer, actually," I told him.

I spent quite a while with my new best friend Mike, who told me I should be taking deep breaths because he was afraid I was so excited I might hyperventilate.  (No, I did not.  I did take deep breaths, though, because they are always good.)  I told him that I knew I was being rude, but I was going to constantly look at the door instead of him so we could be the first ones in the sanctuary.  I think I might have intimidated him a little.

We finally got to go inside.  I showed my UMC nametag in hopes that would get me in early, but alas, Anne Lamott fans were all treated fairly, so I had to wait like everyone else.  I was able to nab half a pew on the second row, which was my goal anyway, so it all worked out perfectly.  I had recruited my friends Rev. Nancy and Robin to sit with me and they were so kind and tolerant of my enthusiasm.

Anne was fabulous.  She was funny, honest, and said many thought-provoking bits that I will work on remembering so I can quote her later.  I've got a few down, but am thinking about it all.

On rough drafts...."The first draft is child writing, the second draft is the adult, and the third draft is..."...I forgot.  Must try to remember all the details.

"Addictions are all the same in that you desperately want something that is terrible for you."  She spoke of being addicted to things I hadn't thought of before (shopping, being needed, and some more things I have to go think about.)

There was a question and answer time, so I jumped up, and stepped all over poor Rev. Nancy (she said she wasn't injured), and got to the microphone first.  I said, "My name is Sarah and I want to tell you thank you.  I love you.  Can I hug you?"  Cheesy, yes, but true, and guess what?  I got a hug from Anne Lamott!  She is a great hugger, I might add.  Not some impersonal, one arm hug; she gave me a full-body embrace.  Woohoo!  It was awesome and after the event, at least 10 strangers told me they were jealous of me.

I got to give Anne a hug during the book signing.  When you know so much about a person through books or talking or whatever, it means a lot to be able to touch them in the flesh.  "I love you and you are real."

What we're excited about right now

Here is what excites me right now:

Anne Lamott is coming to Fort Worth!

Learn more about her April 2 appearance here.

The first Anne Lamott book I ever read was Operating Instructions.  It's about raising her son and personal growth.  I really enjoyed her style and have often purchased and gifted that book to others.  But then when I read Grace Eventually, I was completely in love.  I love her humility and honesty about struggling with life.  Through  her writing, she seems like the kind of down-to-earth person I'd love to sit and have a giant cup of coffee with and just listen to what's going on in her head.

I will be inviting people to come sit with me at this event, but please be warned that I am VERY EXCITED and I plan to arrive an hour early so I can get a great seat.

Around our house, we're also excited about the Perot Museum.  I heard from a friend that on the first weekend of  the month, Bank of America customers get in free with their debit card.  So we went on the first weekend in March.  This museum is phenomenal.  We have an excellent museum in Fort Worth that our family continues to have a membership to and we visit it often.  But this new one is world class.  It's also crazy crowded.  A family membership is $100, so we went ahead and purchased one that day.  I took the kids back over spring break and we took our time exploring and we had fun.  If you take your family, buy your tickets online first, because they sell out daily.  And be prepared for crowds and Dallas kids that aren't quite the same as Fort Worth ones.  Riding the TRE is a good option, especially with crazy parking situations, but it is a 1/2 mile walk from the train station to the museum.  And, if you wear your Optimus Prime outfit, you are extra cool!

A great book I'm reading right now is My Formerly Hot Life by Stephanie Dolgoff.  I can't give a complete review of it yet because I'm only on Chapter 3, but so far it's a coming of age story about moms and the physical and mental transitions that go along with it.

Last night Adam and I went to a concert together.  We used to do that all the time, but the times, they've been a changing.  His musical taste also differs greatly from mine, so there are few artists that he likes that I find willing to pay ticket price plus $10/hour for a babysitter to go see.  He was able to get some discount tickets, though, and it's spring break, so I figured we could stay out late.  We went and saw Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.  Adam was quite excited about the concert and has been trying to educate me for a month so I was ready for the live show.  Frankly, I was more excited about a night out than the concert.  It ended up being great.  It was at SMU and we enjoyed eating at a tiny Italian restaurant before the show.  We actually sat down in comfortable chairs the entire show and were able to enjoy it without being surrounded by obnoxious people.  I was intrigued to observe that the crowd was 99.5 percent white.  I counted less than 10 minorities and wondered why.  Twice we just stood in the crowd people watching, which was fun.  I complimented a 25 year old man on his 15 inch long beard and we observed several interesting ways to dye your hair.  Lots of tattoos.  I wanted to go and engage several in conversation about their choice in clothes/hair color/tattoos, but didn't want to creep anyone out.  It was really fascinating.

The light engineering was fantastic and the band played a wide variety of instruments, including a violin, all of which we could actually hear.  It was a good show.

Our little free library is getting more buzz.  Two libraries are being constructed right now because they heard about ours.  Our FB page is up to 60 likes.  We have started rotating out the books that don't move and instead, leaving those books in random places with a registered number from www.bookcrossing.com .

I've also moved all my email over to Google, where I now use my google drive, task bar, reader, and other features daily.  It has made a difference in sorting through the action emails I get daily.  I still have my yahoo account, but you can now reach me quicker at mrs.sarahboyette@gmail.com

(I hate the mrs. part of this and feel it's kind of pretentious, but the email system is so awesome, I'm getting over it.)