Crisis in the Boyette Casa

Claire is at the age where she is starting to like Barbie. She has received several Barbies for gifts, but I confiscate all small accessories. Paul puts everything that will fit into his mouth, and I know Claire is not old enough to determine whether or not he might choke on something.

She's been playing with the Barbies themselves since around Christmas. She likes to take off their clothes and call them Naked Barbie. Her interest has piqued, so I allowed her to have one pair of Barbie shoes. When I gave them to her, I talked to her about Paul and how she must always put her Barbie shoes back into her Barbie bucket because he will get them and put them in his mouth and choke on them. Every time she gets out her Barbies I remind her about Paul. It's become so repetitive that she actually can complete my sentence. "...because he will choke on them and get hurt."

Yesterday I was having computer issues. I was frustrated and decided to take a break. I put Paul in his swing so he could take a nap while I took a shower. I always do this for his own protection. Claire can't get into the swing or sit on him when he is in the swing. As I was headed to the shower, I noticed that Claire's Barbie shoes were on the counter next to the swing. They weren't on the floor, so I didn't say anything about it.

I heard Paul crying the entire time I was showering. He hadn't wanted to take a nap, so I thought he was upset I put him in the swing. I heard him coughing, but sometimes he does that when he's real upset. After I got dressed, I went to pick him up and comfort him and that's when I saw it.

One small gold Barbie high heel on the tray of his swing. The other high heel was nowhere to be found. I asked Claire where the other one was and she started apologizing and ran out of the room.

She fed it to him.

I was so mad at her I made her stay in her room for an hour and a half until I calmed down. I know kids like to experiment and put things in their mouth, and if I hadn't specifically, repeatedly, explained the dangers of Barbie shoes to her, I wouldn't have been as upset. She did it on purpose. I was flabbergasted that a near-three year old would be so defiant. It is fascinating to me to watch her moral compass develop. I wasn't fascinated yesterday, though. I was so mad I didn't know what to do.

Paul was not choking. He was breathing fine. He was happy. I stuck my finger down his throat and found no obstructions. I called Adam and he recommended I call the doctor. Then he asked my advice on what part to buy from the junkyard. For any man reading this, please know that when your wife calls with an emergency crisis, it is not the time to talk to her about something at the junkyard. That just adds to her anxiety and frustration.

I called the doctor and she told me to feed him a piece of bread. Everything's fine now. Claire's out of time-out. She lost her Barbie privileges for a week, at least. Adam apologized and made his own decision about the junkyard. I took a deep breath and am trying to take a CSI approach to checking poo for Barbie shoes.