McDonald's Fail

For ten years or so, I've been boycotting McDonald's.

McDonald's is everywhere. My parents didn't take me there when I was a kid because they didn't like it and I grew up to feel pretty much the same way.

Last week our dear friend Charles died, and I believe having elderly people in our lives makes us better people, so I decided to try to do more activities with our blind friend, Jo. She wanted to go to the new McDonald's by her house, and because I love her so much, I consented.

Due to several circumstances, Jo had to back out at the last minute, but the kids, who had never been to McDonald's, still wanted to go. I decided to suck it up and do it.

I walked in and immediately was frustrated because I couldn't find the breakfast menu. Then I was informed that breakfast was over and they actually change menus when they stop serving it. So I settled for two Happy Meals and a yogurt parfait.

I let the kids eat and then play in the play area. Claire was having fun and making friends. Paul couldn't get up the ladder, so he stayed at the bottom, happy to wave at Claire above him. Then Paul figured out how to get up in the tunnels and immediately we had problems.

Paul couldn't get out. He was screaming like he was mortally injured. I sent Claire in to get him and he shouted louder and refused to let her push him down the slide. Then Claire tried pulling him, but she wasn't strong enough to get him moved.

I surveyed the slide and decided it could hold my weight and climbed up a little bit. I couldn't see him, so I slid down. He wouldn't move. I climbed up three times, but gravity worked against me every time and I ended up sliding down before I reached him.

I had to climb the ladder just like the kids. I'm not a waif, so I was really worried about breaking something. I had to contort my body to get up the ladder tunnel and then cross the netting and then pick the right slide tunnel to go down. I was also wearing a knee-length skirt, so I tried hard not to flash the people below.

Eventually I found Paul. He screamed even louder because I put him in the slide and pushed him down to the ground with my feet.

Both out of the tunnel, I grabbed our belongings and told the kids I hope they enjoyed it, because we're not going back to McDonald's.