Reflections and Gratitude from 2016

Although the children are still on holiday, we've put up the Christmas decorations and are focusing on the New Year. Every year Adam's office shuts down entirely for the week between Christmas and New Year's. Every year I am extremely grateful for this time of retreat and family bonding. We stay home and do whatever suits our fancy. We play games, read books, stay up late and sleep in. This year we also went on a hike at Dinosaur Valley State Park. Paul, Adam, and Claire have worked on mastering our original Nintendo Mario Brothers and I've read almost a book a day. Because our schedule is so busy and inundated during the rest of the year, I treasure this time every year.

I've compiled a list of 2016 gratitude and reflections. Here it is, in no particular order:

1. Emotionally and physically healthy children
The kids are growing rapidly. Claire has inherited my large feet and is now firmly in the women's shoe section. Paul is still long and lean and in constant motion. They are both healthy and active and I am so grateful. I'm also grateful for their emotional health and ability to navigate the world. Regularly we are in situations with unknown people and instead of retreating, the children engage. They make friends everywhere we go and learn about others' stories. Every time I see situations like that, I know that we have done well and that no matter what the future holds, our children will march forward with flying colors.

2. My husband
Adam and I have been together since college, and I am constantly grateful for our shared history and partnership. I love having jokes that are almost 20 years old and that no one else in the world would understand. I love how he both understands me but also sees the world from a different angle. My right-brained leanings balance out his left-brain strengths and vice-versa.

3. Pokemon Go
We have had so much fun with Pokemon Go this year. The kids don't have their own phones yet, so we all use my phone. Claire, Paul, and I pass the phone back and forth. I have enjoyed learning a bit of the intricacies of the Pokemon world. More than that, I am grateful for the sharing and teamwork that playing this encourages.

4. Books
For Christmas, Paul received the Platypus Penguin Detective series. This in itself just makes me smile. Over the holidays I reorganized several of my bookshelves and read so many books that have been sitting around collecting dust. I have always been a reader and I'm so thankful for the wide-variety of books that we have around the house. I had my nose in a book almost the entire break.

5. Interactions with the homeless
Several years ago, our church had a ministry for homeless women. Once a week during the coldest and hottest months of the year, we would host 12 women for an overnight stay. Our family loved this program because we were able to interact and build relationships with homeless people in a comfortable setting. We had a few favorites that the kids looked forward to seeing. One of these favorites was Terry. Just before Christmas, I began to see Terry around our neighborhood. I spoke with her every time. I don't know if she remembered us or not, but when I saw her a couple days before Christmas, I handed her some money and called her by name. She accepted with gratitude and wonder.

This week we took Adam to lunch one day. As we were waiting at a red light, we watched a man pick up a half-eaten tortilla off the ground. He began to eat it. He then found another tortilla and then an empty to-go box also on the ground. He began wiping the tortilla on the box, trying to mop up any sauce that was there. We all had compassion for that man. After lunch the kids boxed up their leftovers, made sure to get a fork, and we went back to find the man. We were unable to find him. However, we did find another homeless man and offered our leftovers to him. He accepted with thanks.

I'm not sure if some policy changes have sent more homeless people to the streets or if I am just noticing who has always been there. However, every interaction I have with a homeless person reminds me of how small my problems are. I'm also always filled with a desire to do more.

6. Family exercise
The kids are in running club at school. I join them every Wednesday and we are training for the Cowtown 5k. I had planned on doing some running, but it hasn't worked out that way. Instead, I'm part of the walkers group. I love watching my own children race ahead of me and run with confidence. I also love walking and occasionally jogging with other children who like to share whatever's on their minds. I feel honored that they trust me enough to share and grateful for the opportunity to listen.

We went on a family hike on New Year's Eve. That was fun as well. I'm always grateful for our family adventures, especially when they take me places I wouldn't have chosen myself.

7. Seminary
I am in the middle of my Master of Divinity program at Brite Divinity School. Several times this fall semester I felt overwhelmed and defeated. It's such a long process. However, I kept working hard and even though I threw my hands in the air at my finals and settled on "good enough," I earned an A in both my classes. I also received encouragement over the holidays and am now ready to tackle the spring semester. I am grateful for my particular seminary in all the ways I am challenged to rethink and listen to other viewpoints. The metaphor I can best describe it is that seminary is like a new pair of glasses. You don't even think about how you see things normally until you receive these special seminary glasses. Now all the sudden you see the world with new eyes. This changes and challenges much of what was taken for granted before, even my own self-knowledge.

8. Implementing life skills in the children
This fall, I taught my kids how to do their own laundry. That doesn't mean they will do it all the time, but it does mean that if they are asking if some particular item is clean, I can tell them to go start a load. More than not, they are washing and drying their own clothes now. I'm taking care of the bleach and whatever lands in my hamper.

Because my job at the Wesley includes some nights away from the family dinner table, Claire has stepped up her cooking skills and began providing dinner. She enjoys cooking and is increasing in skills and confidence. Not to be left behind, Paul is working on his culinary skills as well. Last night he made chicken tacos for the family.

I am so grateful for kids that are smart, confident, and capable. By the time they are off to college, they will be ready.

9. Our pets
Capt. Midnight Sugar Dot Express is currently snoring on the couch. He's been a good dog. This past year we also added two  hamsters and a fish to our pet list. The kids bought the hamsters and fish with their own money and the best part is, they take care of them as well! I haven't had to clean one fish bowl or hamster cage. I can just pet them when I like and leave the rest to the kids.

10. Holiday reconnections
Over Christmas break, we have seen so many people we love and don't get to see normally. More than once on Christmas Eve I looked around at the family gatherings and was filled with gratitude. Christmas is so nice because no matter how much we are rushing around like chickens with our heads cut off, at some point we all stop, and join together to celebrate and share love. I am grateful.

As we put both feet in 2017, I've looked back on the past year with gratitude, but now I am looking forward with that same gratitude. I'm anxious to see all the ways we will grow and change in the new year.

Our family hike at Dinosaur Valley State Park.

A Cornucopia of Thanks

Today I have a cornucopia of thankfulness.  (Honestly, I love the word cornucopia and want to use it as often as possible.) The last two weeks have been grueling, and it's times like this when I treasure each and every piece of happiness.

Here's what I'm thankful for today:

picture from dailypositivequotes.com

1. Friends when you are in need.
I am so thankful for the people that put me right side up when I'm so stressed out that I'm upside down and feeling like Chicken Little. The sky hasn't fallen yet and I'm still standing, thankfully.

2. Weddings
We went to a sweet wedding last week and I was able to hug so many people.

3. Coffee for Jesus
On Wednesday morning, I was feeling down, so I brewed several pots of coffee, stood on the curb and passed out free coffee to TCU students. It was good for my soul to share a smile with strangers and to offer words of encouragement for frazzled college students on their way to take tests. Several people asked me what I was promoting and I reminded them that I was promoting Jesus.

4. Completed homework
I've been struggling with writing and re-writing and re-thinking and re-writing some theological papers, but I finished them, am satisfied I did my best effort, and turned them in. I love that feeling of relief that comes when the paper is sent off via email to your professor and you don't have to worry about it any more.

5. Kumbaya
In one of my classes yesterday, a woman confessed she was trying to feel better by singing. I convinced her to sing to the whole class. Later, when class was halfway over, our entire class, including our professor, sang Kumbaya. It was hilarious and holy and it reminded me that sometimes it doesn't matter that I can't sing on key.

6. Date Night
Last Saturday we left the kids to the capable hands of our fearless babysitter and escaped. I am so thankful that in the midst of our crazy busy lives that occasionally we can stop time and focus on each other. Also, we ended up at the bookstore (predictably) and I'm thankful for my new book.

7. Bedtime rituals
Claire and Paul each have their own special bedtime routine. Claire asks me to growl in her ear every night because it tickles. We have a few quiet moments of talking right before bed. For Paul, we have an elaborate routine. First, I hide under his covers and pretend to be him. He hides behind his door. Then Paul calls Adam and says he's ready to be tucked in. Adam strolls in, pretends not to see me, jumps on the bed, followed by Paul jumping out from behind the closet to scare us all. It is so funny every night.

8. New car battery when I had time to get one
Sunday morning, Adam left to help his parents and the kids and I realized my battery in my car was dead. Luckily it was a weekend day. A kind neighbor jumped the car for us. I went to Auto Zone, and a kind employee replaced my battery for me while we waited. I was so thankful that it was the weekend and that we had time to do that.

9. Sick days
Monday afternoon, Paul came home from school not feeling well. He came home and asked to take a nap. That never happens to this energetic boy. Tuesday morning he woke up with a fever. All plans were cancelled and I stayed home from work and he stayed home from school. He was completely recovered in a few hours. I was so thankful for his quick recovery and for my ability to cancel everything for the day and spend a low-key day at home with him.

10. My communities
I am a part of several communities and I am thankful for them all. I am thankful for my theological friends who can talk Augustine's intersection with real life. I am thankful for several churches where I feel at home. I am thankful for my family both under one roof and extended. I am thankful for my friends that email me back when I send them long essays. I am thankful for my FB messenger friends who send me links, check-ins, and laments. I am thankful for the parents at school that I get to converse with every day from 2:50-3:00. I am thankful for both my jobs and coworkers and friends. I am thankful for my professors who have patience with my ignorance and make me laugh. I am so thankful to be surrounded by good people.

Whew! Gratitude to finish a Grueling Week

This week was one of the hardest of the semester. I'm so thankful that I was able to meet the challenges, mostly.

Here's what I'm grateful for today:

1. A new journal
I wanted to put this journal on my Christmas list, but it runs $55 and I wasn't sure I could justify that much money for a book that wasn't a textbook. I am excited to say that it went on sale and I got a copy for $20! Woot! It's called Sacred Ordinary Days, and it's a liturgical journal. Click here to get the same deal I did. This particular version runs with the academic calendar, which is good for me.

2. Hamster rescues
Last week Paul's hamster escaped his cage and met me for coffee. Luckily the dog wasn't up and I was able to safely return him. This week when I was up at 4:15 writing, I heard a loud crash. Claire's hamster had somehow toppled his hamster wheel and was on her bedroom floor, in his wheel. I am so grateful the hamster stayed in the wheel, because Sugar Dot went with me to investigate that noise.

The reason our hamsters live in cages. Sugar Dot was looking for a snack this week in the hamster ball. Don't worry. No hamsters or dogs were harmed.

3. Dinner out
I try to make dinner most nights, but twice this week we've had to outsource. I am so grateful that our family budget allows wiggle room on nights when I just can't make it all come together.

4. Homework completed
Last week I rejoiced at the reading and summarizing conclusion of the most boring/challenging book I've had to read. This week I read the companion to that book. 321 pages summarized in a 25-page paper. Don't ask me what it was about, because when you are asked to read that much in such a little time, the only method of survival is short-term processing and regurgitation. I'm not even positive I kept the name in my brain.

5. Unexpected three-day weekends
Because I have been totally consumed with my homework this week, I didn't have time until yesterday to confirm that the kids don't have school on Monday. Woot! I love that extra space. I'm going to fill it with...... more homework.

6. Life skills
Yesterday I had Paul sort his laundry and wash a load. He's 8 and had never done it before. He was so excited at this new skill he asked if he could do it every week. The answer is "Absolutely." We'll see how long his enthusiasm holds.

7. Eating with interesting people
More than once this week I've found myself eating next to a fascinating person. I loving hearing different people's perspectives. It always makes me think long after the conversation is over.

8. The freedom of a no.
Because I was writing a giant paper this week, I was unable to also summarize my normal 100-pages or so from a textbook in class. I just didn't have time. I asked for a 24 hour extension and was denied. The good part of that is that now I don't have to worry about trying to fit that summary into my schedule. It's over and I can move on.

9. Rain
I am so grateful that I was able to wake up and snooze for a bit to the sound of rain on our window.

10. Early mornings
Lots of students stay up late to finish their homework. My brain doesn't allow that. About 8:00, my ability to think theologically goes out the window. The good part of this is that I know that and don't even try to push it. It gives me some intentional family time. The best part of this is that I have the ability to wake up super early to get my homework done when everyone else is asleep (3:45 yesterday). It's not a pattern that works for everyone, but it allows me to focus and still have time for family.

Thank you, September!

Today's the last day of the month, meaning we've gone through just over a month of school. We've rotated between survival mode and awesomeness every day. I am so grateful.

Here's my thankful list for today:

1. I finished this behemoth! Yesterday I finished reading this entire, monstrous textbook. While it is full of good ideas, the writing was mostly over my head and frustrating. However, I read it all and am done! Woohoo! (You can all line up to borrow it now.)

2. Cooler weather
Fall and spring are my favorite seasons because they are so full of promise and hope. In fall, we hope for a respite from the heat. In spring, we hope for shorts. I love this in between time when the weather could go either way.

3. Kids and school independence
Every day it seems my kids are getting smarter and more independent. I am so grateful for that. They have great teachers at a great school  and I'm so proud of them every day.

4. Failure of embarrassment
I haven't been able to embarrass my kids yet. I've tried. Wearing birds, butterflies, and bonnets on my head hasn't worked yet. Paul just laughs and tells his friends I'm a lunatic. Claire just nods and says, "Nope. You have once again failed to embarrass me. Everyone knows my family is crazy." I've got to try harder and I'm grateful for the challenge.

5. Leftovers

6. Hilarious professors
One of my professors has been teaching at Brite Divinity School since the 1970s. That makes it all the funnier when he says things like "Will the real Jesus Christ please stand up?" He's always dropping little pop culture quotes and it always makes me laugh.

My other professor yesterdays confessed that we all love creative tension. He said, "Creative tension sounds so sexy." We all almost fell out of our chairs laughing.

7. Coffee with a hamster and not a dog
One day this week I was drinking my first cup of coffee, trying to read my behemoth of a book and I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I got scared, thinking we had a rat. No, it was Paul's hamster, escaped in a jailbreak and coming to the kitchen. I am so grateful he came to me. I am so grateful the dog hadn't woken up yet. I am so grateful we were able to return him safely to his cage and latch it so that doesn't happen again.

8. Friends
For my email pen pals, for my friends at all my school situations, for my church friends, for my ministry friends, for my friends from all different corners of my life, who remind me who I am and who I have been, I am grateful.

9. Waking up skills
My brain is much sharper in the a.m. The ability to wake up early and start functioning immediately has suited me well in grad school. My writing is much better at 5 a.m. when everyone is asleep, rather than at 5 p.m. when everyone is awake and wanting to chat.

10. Kids and pets
We're up to one dog, two hamsters, and one fish around here. The kids bought the hamsters and fish with their own money, and they take care of them all by themselves! They are so proud of their pets and parenting skills, and I am, too. Also, I'm grateful that their allowance money spent on a pet didn't mean more work for me.

Hallelujah! Thankful thoughts

One week ago today, I was lamenting yet another conversation about Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I try to be fully present with my children and engage in conversation about what's important in their lives, but during summer, it's tough. Conversation is often limited to the antics of a fictional character. Every summer, there's a point where I start to question my intelligence and sanity.

And then, hallelujah. Just as I was starting to believe I would never have an adult conversation again with anyone other than my husband; that I would never be challenged or seen as intelligent; school started. Thank you, Lord.

Here's what I'm thankful for today:
1. Teachers

A photo taken for no other reason than cuteness.

Thank you, thank you,  thank you, for challenging my children, for guiding them with love, and for offering me a respite. I literally cannot do all I do without you.

2. Babysitter
To our dear babysitter Gabby, thank you for being so trustworthy. I have no worries about you getting the children when I am in class. I am grateful for your loving care and lack of fear in the face of our mountain of laundry and dirty dishes.

3. Church family
Thank you, dear church, for providing another loving place for my children. Thank you for being home to many of my favorite people. Thank you for challenging me to think beyond children's literature. Thank you for being a place I can go to share a hug any day of the week.

4. My job
I am thankful for a job that the kids were able to accompany me to all summer long, without complaint. Instead of whining that they had to come to work with mom, they were excited about the next time they got to go with me. The Wesley is a cool place to hang out, no matter how old you are.

5. My other job
I have a very small role at a big school in a poor part of town. I love showing up with open arms, ready to help. My title is tutor, but general help is what I do (including tutoring). I also am grateful for the reality check I receive every time I'm on campus. This week we had a mother come to school who literally checked herself out of the hospital to come register students at school. Working at the school reminds me that my little bubble isn't the whole world.

6. Seminary
I  am so grateful that I'm back in class. I am immediately challenged to read as fast as I can, to think as hard as I can, and to make connections that I haven't before. It is a cure-all for a woman who was doubting her intelligence just a week ago.

7. Friends
During summer, our schedule was wonky, so we didn't often get to visit friends. But now we are back in our school rhythms, I am able to share hugs in each of my settings. I am so grateful for friends at the kids' school, at work, and at seminary.

8. Podcasts
During the school year, I am informed and challenged by podcasts. I'm not able to listen much in the summer because I'm busy being present, but already this week I've listened to several that challenged, informed, and inspired me.

9. Pets
Since vacation, the kids were saving their allowance. Claire just bought her own fish and accessories, and Paul bought a hamster. Each kid is so proud of the pets that they purchased with their own money, and they both are taking good care of them. I'm proud of their responsibility and independence.

10. Home
This summer we didn't go on quite as many adventures outside of the home. That was new for us. Every summer, the kids get excited about "stay home days", so this summer I relaxed my scheduling and provided more of those. I asked the kids last week if they missed all our little field trips around town; how they felt about a summer spent mostly at home, and they both agreed that was their favorite part.

I am grateful.

Summer 2016 Status Updates

Time always goes quickly around here, so I thought I'd bring everyone up to speed on what's happening in our neck of the woods.

The kids at AHUMC VBS. They had so much fun!

Paul finished second grade and is headed to third. He also wrapped up a great baseball season. He excelled at first base and at batting. His hand-eye coordination is remarkable and one of his coaches was surprised to learn that he just turned 8 during the season.  Paul's favorite activities this summer include building with Legos and reading books. The series he's passionate about right now is How to Train Your Dragon.

Claire has finished fourth grade and headed to fifth grade, her last year in elementary school. This fall we will be applying to various middle schools across FWISD. Claire currently plays volleyball at the YMCA. She is amazing at writing and crafts a new story nearly every day. She likes making family newsletters as well. She also loves reading and is currently rifling through the collection of books I accumulated when I was her age. (Tip: Don't get your daughter hooked on Sweet Valley Twins because they are incredibly hard to find now.)

Adam still enjoys his work as a structural engineer. He has been enjoying the kids' love for roller coasters and all three of them ride together while Sarah waves from the ground. He's great at origami, fixing and building "stuff" with the kids. He loves reading Mark Twain and science books. He also teaches the kids how to rock at video games.

Sarah is still in seminary at Brite Divinity School. I can only go part-time due to family and work, but I love it. At this rate, I have four years left to get my Master of Divinity degree. This last semester I changed jobs and currently work as the ministry assistant at the TCU Wesley Foundation. I'm still also a Fort Worth ISD tutor. I'm also in the ordination process to become a UMC deacon. After graduation/ordination, I'd like to work in pastoral care/counseling and write curriculum for churches.

Cpt. Midnight Sugar Dot Express has enjoyed being the lone dog on the range. He enjoys snuggling and lying in the sun. He does not enjoy Claire holding him like a baby. He's iffy on enjoying Paul wrestling him. Postal employees are threatened with their lives when they deliver mail to the house, but cats are only scared away if he has space in his agenda for chasing them.






Overall, we're all doing well, working hard and having fun.

Our Trip to the Northeast: Ending in NYC

When I was a kid, Pace picante sauce had a commercial about salsa made in New York City. It ended with some cowboys protesting use of a salsa made in New York City.  "New York City?" They exclaimed. "Get a rope!" said another.

Click here to see this commercial.

The entire time we were in New York City, I kept replaying that commercial in my head and finishing every "New York City" with "get a rope."

Despite my annoying internal monologue, I love New York city. The crowds, the people from all over the world, the food from everywhere, the subways, the walking, the big buildings and lights; I love that city. I could never live there; it's too fast paced for my every day, but I love visiting it.

We arrrived on July 4 and were able to see the Macy's fireworks. Police officers were everywhere to ensure everyone's safety.

This was the first time on our journey that we were actually hot. Not Texas hot, but still pretty warm.

Thanks to Adam who secured tickets in February for the Statue of Liberty. It was exhausting to climb all the way to her crown, but also exciting.

When it was time to come home, we were all ready. Both kids had survived a stomach bug and I had a bad ear infection. We were desparate to sleep in our own beds and be back at home. However, the airline cancelled our flight. We stayed one more night and flew out the next day.

I took many, many photos, but here are my favorites.

New York City - Kizoa Video Editor - Movie Maker

Our Trip to the Northeast Part V: All The Little States on Our Way

We drove from NYC to Niagara Falls and hit as many states as we could on the way. We stopped in Plum Island, NY to experience the beach. We heard the water was 58 degrees and a tiny dip of my toes into the water confirmed it. Adam and the kids swam anyway.

We went whale watching, but whales are so fast that I was unable to get a picture of them. We did get to see two whales from our boat. 

We also stopped in Troy, New York and connected with our friend Ellie. I worked with Ellie on several college newspapers and have enjoyed keeping up with her adventures through the years. 

Here's a slideshow of all the little states and beach time.

Little States - Kizoa Video Editor - Movie Maker

Our Trip to the Northeast Part IV: Boston

We were only on Boston one day, but it was a big one. We walked almost the entire Freedom Trail. There are 16 historical sites on the trail, and by the time we left, we had seen them all, at least briefly. Also by the end, I was completely tired, grouchy, and wanting a vacation that included sitting on the beach drinking pretty drinks. Nevertheless, we were making memories with the kids and learning about our country's history.

Notable to our day were our lunch at The Bell and Hand, which is our country's oldest tavern. It's also a restaurant and we enjoyed fish and chips with the locals. We also saw several historic churches, statues, graves, and thousands of people.

We bought the kids each a Boston cap from a street vendor. They each wore their caps every other day of vacation, prompting everyone to think we were from Boston until we opened our mouths to reveal our accents. We loved hearing all the northeasterners talk and each of us privately practiced talking without Rs and with different A sounds. We quickly realized it was easier just to talk the way we normally do.

We also met a professional photographer, who took family photos of us for free. Some of the photos below are from him.

Here's some photos from the Boston leg of our journey.

Boston - Kizoa Video Editor - Movie Maker

Our vacation to the Northeast Part III: Architecture

We noticed a difference in architecture everywhere we went in the northeastern US. Here in Fort Worth, we have a few historic buildings and houses that boast 100 years standing. In the northeast, that's still babytalk.

I've also included a few signs that I noticed. Here's one from Willington, CT. Apparently the entire town has a prayer meeting each week.

Below is a slideshow of some of the signs and buildings we saw on our trip. I don't know the history behind most of them (except the Freedom Tower) but they caught my eye.

NE Architecture - Kizoa Video Editor - Movie Maker

Our Trip to the Northeast Part II: Mark Twain

We visited Mark Twain's house in Hartford, Connecticut and later, his grave in Elmira, NY.

His Hartford home also had a museum, which we enjoyed. You can learn more about it here. We toured the house with the "gossipy maid Lizzie Wills." The "maid" gave us a tour of the house and insider knowledge. It was a lot of fun.

This Mark Twain was made entirely of Legos.

Here are a few photos of the Mark Twain leg of our journey.

Mark Twain - Kizoa Video Editor - Movie Maker

Our Vacation to the Northeast Part 1: Farm Life

When Adam and I first got married, our local grocery store had an airline mile reward program. Every dollar we spent at the store was rewarded with corresponding frequent flyer airline miles. We kept banking them, knowing one day they would come in handy. We cashed them all in this year, 15 years after we got married.

In January, I had gone to bed and Adam woke me up to say that he'd thought of some tentative plans for summer vacation. We hadn't talked about it yet and I was asleep, so I said okay and went back to sleep. The next morning I woke up to a spreadsheet on my side of the table. Flight numbers and destinations were all filled out on a calendar for vacation.

From January to June, Adam worked to research and book our vacation. He found the best deals and the best experiences and made sure we didn't miss a thing. He worked hard, and we all were grateful. Many of our activities had to be booked months in advance. For example, we climbed to the crown of the Statue of Liberty because he had purchased tickets at the beginning of February. Some times had already sold out that far ahead. We visited the Statue of Liberty on July 7.

We started vacation on June 28 with a flight out of DFW airport to New York City. This was the kids first time flying, and they were ecstatic. Since Adam was in charge of all the details, he was constantly checking off lists in his head and verifying that we had everything. I was hyper vigilent about the kids, worried that some silly move in front of a TSA agent would derail our vacation. Luckily everything went smoothly on our way out of town.

We landed in New York City and then got a rental car to drive through the Northeastern US. 

Our first two nights were spent at a farm in Connecticut. We stayed in a barn loft at Bluebird Farm in Willington, Connecticut. The price was very affordable, but more than that, we were invited to participate in farm life! (If you are interested in staying here, you can click here. If you want to learn more about their pig, Daisy, and some of the products they make and sell, click here.)

Here's a brief slideshow of our farm adventures. 

Bluebird Farm - Kizoa Video Editor - Movie Maker

Farewell, Wesley Eugene

A year after Adam and I were married, I started to get baby fever. I was wise enough to realize that I wasn't ready for an actual infant, but I needed to scratch that growing maternal itch somehow. We researched local dog breeders and animal shelters, tried to adopt a pair of chihuahuas, looked into some Miniature Pinchers, and debated what kind of dog we wanted to become our first baby.

We decided we wanted a Yorkshire Terrier. Growing up, my family had one and she lived a long, eventful life. Yorkies stay small, don't shed, and are great snugglers.

We went to see a local breeder and after realizing that actual, full-blood Yorkshire Terrier puppies cost $500, we settled on a half breed. Wesley Eugene was half Yorkie and half Brussels Griffon. He was also half price.

When we first brought him home, he weighed right at one pound. He fit into the palm of our hand and Adam carried him around in his shirt pocket, like a furry pocket protector. In the winter, I cut the foot off tube socks and cut armholes in the remaining tube to make him sweaters. My grandmother crocheted can koozies with armholes for Wesley's going out sweaters. 

We were in love. I treated Wesley as if he were an infant. Wesley had his own clothes, and he accompanied me everywhere. When Adam was in grad school, he went to college parties with us, riding in a doggie version of a Baby Bjorn. I had several purses that I would carry and his head just barely poked out the side. I was righteously indignant when I was told I couldn't bring my dog grocery shopping. He went everywhere with me.

Wesley Eugene was like a real, live teddy bear. I carried him like a baby and treated him like one, too. Every year we would host a big birthday party for him and invite all his doggie friends. I'd bake homemade treats for the dogs and encourage each one to wear a party hat. Wesley Eugene has three scrapbooks just of his life.

One year we had to take an emergency trip to Colorado to rescue Adam's parents who had wrecked their car and needed a ride home. We rode back home in Adam's Toyota truck with his mother in the front seat, his dad in the back, and Adam and I rotating driving or backseat about every 100 miles. Wesley came, too, climbing in whatever lap he wanted to and barking at every single motorcycle. He stood at the four corners and was able to mark  his territory in four states that day.

We took him on our trip to Washington, D.C. where we called him Cradle of Independence Wesley. He wore his red, white, and blue koozie sweater for that trip. 

Wesley hated motorcycles and cats and loved to tell our across the street neighbor to get back inside his house. He intimidated postal workers and once made a large, burly FedEx delivery man run for his life because he could hear approaching barking and didn't know it came from a 5 lb. dog.

He was blessed at our Methodist Church three times and one of our former pastors still greets me with questions about Wesley Eugene's health...even before the kids.

Wesley Eugene turned 13 this summer without any fanfare. We have actual human children now, and I put all my energy into organizing child parties and left the dog parties behind. He didn't seem to mind. 

He was kind to the children and tolerated their messing with him a bit. 

Wesley Eugene was a faithful companion for 13 long years. His health has been rapidly declining since this summer and yesterday we had to let him go. 

Wesley Eugene, we love you and you will be missed.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

What a week! 

Since last week, we've had many adventures and many places to be grateful. Here's a smidgeon of what I'm grateful for today.

1. Independent woman

I took both kids to Wal-Mart this week. I had my list and Claire had a few items she wanted for a recipe she was working on. I left her on the baking aisle with her list and told her I'd be right back. When I returned, she was consulting with a Wal-Mart employee about her list. She had located this giant, at least 6' 5" male employee, and wasn't intimidated at all. She confidently told him what she was looking for and he was helping her find it. He told me how impressed he was with her confidence and intelligence. He said she was as smart as the kids on The Parent Trap. I took it as a compliment.

2. Coffee study break

I have a few unscheduled hours on Thursday mornings. It's dedicated homework time. This week,  however, I took the study session to Avoca coffee shop. The shape of the steamed milk alone makes me happy.

3. Laughter, again

Although, frankly, I laugh all the time, there were three times this week that I laughed so hard I lost my breath. I am lucky to have so many funny people in my life. (I'm married to one of them.)

4. Cute kids

Claire has two American Girl dolls, (Thanks, Grandma!) so she and Paul split them up to parent them one on one. Paul was super cute being a dad and Claire was super cute being a mom. Notice how Claire's glasses match her doll's? Totally coincidence. 

5. Wheel of Fortune

I love watcing Wheel of Fortune with the kids. We work as a team to solve the puzzle. Soon, they will be better than me.

6. Staying afloat

Mid-terms and papers are on the horizon, and I anticipate having to crawl into a hole until those get done, but for now, I am staying afloat with all my responsibilities. Family, jobs, homework, home stuff. It's all in balance right now and I'm grateful.

7. The Pope

This week at the gym, I have been grateful to watch all the exciting Pope press coverage. It's much better than the violence usually covered by the media. I'm not Catholic, but I'm a fan of this Pope. Even his car is cool!

8.  Family time

Last weekend we had some long-lost cousins in town. They haven't been lost, but they haven't been around the DFW area since I was a kid. We had an unofficial family reunion and we all had a great time! Swimming, talking, and hanging out at another cousin's new coffee house. It was awesome.

9. Private Coffee House

My cousin Maddie just opened up a bakery and coffeehouse in Waxahachie. It's called the Back Porch Coffee House. It's been her dream to open a bakery, and now she's got one. The whole family filled the place up on Saturday. You can check them out at the super long link. http://waxahachietxcoc.weblinkconnect.com/events/Ribbon-Cutting-ForBack-Porch-Coffee-HouseTuesday,-September-22,-2015,-1000-am-4156/details

10. Weird illness

Poor Paul missed a day and a half of school this week for a weird illness. He had a fever the first day, but the second day we just kept him home to make sure he was okay. He was. Instead of nursing him, I supervised his Lego playing and reading. I'm grateful he just had a fever and wasn't miserable at all.

No, Thank you!!

Happy Saturday! I started writing this post yesterday morning, but had to rush off to my 8 a.m. theology class. It's still important to me to be conscious of my blessings, so here's my list for this week:

1. Fallish weather

It's not brutally hot any more, and I am thankful. Yesterday I sat on a patch of grass in the shade and journaled. Feeling the grass underneath me and the breeze, even though it was in the 90s, felt like fall had officially arrived.

2. Birds

I wear dorky birds in my hair when I work at school. It started out for me....How can I be stressed or grouchy if I have a bird on my head? But then I realized it made other people giggle, so I started doing it more. I had not, until this week, ever taken my birds to Brite Divinity School. It's hard to have a serious conversation with a woman with a bird clipped in her hair, so to be serious, I hadn't worn them. I wore a bird this week and no one on campus missed a beat. It was just like "Oh yeah, that's Sarah. She's a little bit goofy, but oh well." 

3. Homework time

Every day after we walk home from school, the kids and I sit down at the dining room table and all three focus on homework. They are old enough to do their homework mostly independently, so we all sit together and think, think, think. 

4. Free lunch

On Tuesday I went to lunch with the church staff. We went to a brand new restaurant in Weatherford and it was delicious. Then a couple from church came to eat lunch as well. They bought all of our lunches. Woohoo! There IS such a thing as a free lunch. I had one this week and I am grateful.

5. Mr. Fix It

We need a new mattress on our bed, but we just don't have time to go buy one right now. I was complaining about back pain the other day, so Adam engineered some sort of reinforcements for the bed frame. We still need a new mattress, but thanks to his engineering mind and some 2X4s, we aren't waking up with back pain any more and can survive until our calendar allows us to get a new mattress.

6. Venus Fly Trap

A few months ago on an impulse, I bought a tiny Venus fly trap. I water it every day, hopeful that one day it will replicate the Venus flytraps of cartoon reputation. Although it doesn't move independently like in cartoons, it caught two flying insects this week. It's been fascinating to watch. One of the bugs is still sticking out of the leaves. I'm curious if that part of the bug will just fall off or eventually get sucked in. Either way, watching a plant digest a bug is fascinating. The plant came with a note not to feed it actual meat. Good to know

7. My personal library and our Little Free Library

We are bookionaires. (It's like being a millionaires with books.) We have books in every corner of our house. I am fortunate that since I'm such a fast reader, I am able to keep up with my theological reading as well as reading books for fun. As soon as I'm done reading a book, I put it in our Little Free Library in our front yard. We've met many neighbors that way and love sharing our love of literacy.

8. A drive long enough for pod casts

Because it takes me about 35 minutes to get to my church work, I'm able to keep up with several pod casts and friends' sermons. It's like I attend news conferences and several churches all at one time in my car.

9. Space to breathe

Adam took the kids on a Boy Scout's fishing adventure this morning. I have been left at home unattended. So far I've done some laundry, some homework, and some work-work. I've also had some space to breathe and think and pray and I am grateful.

10. No complaints

I have absolutely nothing to complain about right now. Everything is right in my world and I am grateful.

Thank God it's Friday!

Woohoo!

Here's what I'm thankful for today:

1. The best part of a three day weekend

Last weekend was a three day weekend, so this week was a four day work week. It's Friday! Hallelujah!

2. Friends that make time for me

Some of my favorite people are the busiest. I am grateful that I was able to connect with several of them this week via email or in-person chats. I always feel more grounded after touching base with friends I haven't seen in a while. I also feel energized after talking and listening to people about real joys and real problems. I also had lunch with my favorite friend, my husband. 

3. Keeping caught up with homework

Another school week down, another week I was able to complete all my homework! If you would like to read my UMC Book of Discipline, you can borrow it at the end of the semester. I am fascinated by it! 

4. Surprises

I have another friend who sent me a giant happy book. I checked the mail on Tuesday and there was a huge box for me. My friend Jennifer had sent me volume 1 of the best Bible dictionary available. I was ecstatic! (See picture? Excited!) 

5. Labor Day weekend perfection

Last weekend we had family and other loved ones come over and swim and eat and laugh. Several times I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. Listening to discussions of certain presidential candidates almost made me spit water across the back room.  Yelling girly words to distract the men from listening to our conversation was hilarious as well.

6. First presentation down

Yesterday in my Methodist History and Doctrine class, I made a presentation about a John Wesley sermon. I was anxious, but it went well. If you would like an explanation of John Wesley's views of "Circumcision of the Heart" let me know and I will share a beautiful handout with you.

7. Grown up conversations with kids

I called the house yesterday from campus and spoke with Claire. We had the best conversation. It's so fun to hear her speak like an adult, advocate for what she wants, and be silly. I am so proud of both of my children and their beautiful hearts and hilarious personalities.

8. Miracles of time and space

Yesterday when I woke up, I realized it was one of those days with a milion puzzle pieces in my schedule and not a clue as to how they would all fit together. But through the miracle of the time and space continuum, I finished my homework and presentation, made it to class, and made it to both meetings I had to attend. I also met Adam and picked up dinner for the kids. By the end of the day I felt like I had lived two days.

9. AC repairmen on call

We love our air conditioner repairman. We love him! If you need a recommendation, please let me know. He'll be featured at Casa Boyette today because something is wrong with our unit. 

10. Connecting the dots

I'm taking two classes that are focused on history right now. It's exciting to me to go back and re-learn some history that I've known for years but through a theological lens. I love stories about the Tudors, but now I'm learning about the role of the church in the Tudors history. And connecting the dots between the first churches and the history of Methodism and history I've known before gives me pause and several "aha!" moments.

Thanks, Again

Today we wrap up our second school week, and I am thankful.

Here's my list for the week:

1. Catching up with friends

By this weekend, I'll almost be done catching up with everyone I lost contact with over the summer. I am grateful for the various rhythms that the changes in seasons bring and I'm grateful for several friends that keep up with me and keep me grounded. I have a good mix of friends I listen to and friends that listen to me. I am thankful.

2. Connecting the dots

In Theology class, we are learning some church history. In Methodist History class, we are obviously doing the same. What is exciting to me is taking history that I've known my whole life and connecting it with what I'm learning today. I understand a more complete picture this way.

3. Pumpkin spice coffee creamer

Starbucks isn't serving Pumpkin Spice lattes just yet, but I've already bought the flavored creamer and am enjoying the tastes of fall.

4. Swimming

We are so blessed to have our very own swimming pool in the backyard. The kids favorite after school activity is walking home and immediately getting into our swimsuits. We swim for a bit before we come in and do homework. It's just enough to reset our minds and our body temperatures. I love living in Texas, where I can swim and drink Pumpkin Spice lattes in the same day.

5. My blender

For uses that were certainly purely academic, I bought a sturdy blender in college. Nearly every day I still use the same one, now making healthy fruit smoothies for breakfast. It's entertaining to me to think of what I used to put in my blender and what I get excited about now. 

6. My new owl

At the local elementary school where I work, I'm known for my fancy hair ornaments. I buy fake birds at Dollar Tree and wear them in my hair. This week, my friend Teri became aware that I didn't have a fall bird for my hair. I've been wearing spring birds in the fall. Thank God she remedied the situation and now I have a fall owl. 

7. Three day weekend

Woohoo! We made it to the weekend, and now we have time to catch our breath and catch up before our  third week of school starts.

8. Not having to worry

Claire's teacher told me this week how much she enjoys having her in class. I thanked her. Paul's teacher told me this week how lucky I was to have two excellent children. I thanked her as well. I am grateful that our children are loved and appreciated beyond the walls of our home. I am thankful that already, they are loving, productive members of society. 

9. Teamwork at work

At church, I am grateful to work with people as a team. It's exciting to see when one of us starts something or has an idea and then the others pitch in and make it happen. We all have different gifts and I am grateful that they compliment each other. I'm also happy to be part of the team at school and be one of the people that works behind the scenes to help.

10. Being in the right place 

My schedule takes me to a different place nearly every day. I'll work at church, then school, then go to class, and home. I am grateful that in each one of these settings, I feel completely at home and in the right place for me. I have loved ones in each location and each setting fits me perfectly in a unique way. I am humbled and grateful.

First Week of School Thanks

Yesterday the family wrapped up the first week of school. Claire is now officially a fourth grader, Paul is a second grader, and I am back at Brite Divinity School working on my Master of Divinity degree. Adam is still Adam with his awesome engineering skills.

Here's a few pieces of grattitude from this week:
1. Ease of transition
We bought all our textbooks, school supplies and uniforms weeks ago. Switching from summer mode to school mode happened with no drama and no hardships. We were in summer and now we are in school and it went seamlessly. I am so grateful that we made the transition so smoothly.

In case you missed it, here's my first day of school picture.

2. Summer memories
This summer was possibly the best summer of my life. We had a wonderful, beautiful vacation to California that included an extensive road trip. We swam in the pool. We reconnected with friends. We relaxed. I read two to three books a week that had nothing to do with theology. I took my kids to work with me and the church and the kids were fine.

3. Wesley Eugene
A couple of weeks ago, our vet told us to prepare for the impending death of our Yorkshire Terrier, Wesley Eugene. He was very ill and if he didn't make a dramatic turnaround, we would need to put him to sleep. Adam and I had a hard conversation and I had many tears. Wesley is 13. He was our first answer to baby fever and he's been with us for almost all of our marriage. We made the decision to call the vet the next day and make an appointment to let him go. That same night, he decided to let us know he wasn't done living. He ate everything I put in front of him. Since then, he has steadily been getting back to his old self. The other night he woke me up barking at a helicopter flying. While I wasn't happy to be awake at 1 a.m., I was happy that he was feeling well enough to defend our territory against the threats of flying machines. He's a good dog and I am grateful for his life, however long that will be.

4. Banana bread
I'm not done delivering it yet, but I was able to make another tuition payment with banana bread funds. Thank you to all who eat and support my call to ministry! It looks like I will be debt free for another semester! (Those of you who haven't received your bread yet, it's coming. I promise.)

5. Good conversations
During summer, I am simply starved for adult conversation. I am so grateful that Adam and our budget allow me to only work one part-time job in the summer. I love being around my children and listening to the desires of their hearts and experiencing the world through  their eyes. However, by the end of summer, I am simply starved for adult interaction and want to talk about anything other than PBS shows or Magic Treehouse books. I have been so grateful this week to be around people with which I simply fall into good conversation.

6. New classes
This semester I am taking Theology I and Methodist History and Doctrine. Several people have said to me, "That sounds exciting." I always respond with, "It is SO exciting! I can't wait!" It took about five of these exchanges for me to realize that my friends were being sarcastic and not everyone is as enthusiastic as I am about learning in seminary. That's okay. I am grateful to be there because it is the right place for me. I'm excited regardless.

7. My two jobs
I love working at church. I love my coworkers and I have been constantly learning about ministry. I am so grateful to be serving where I am because it is the perfect place for me to grow. However, when I set foot back in the school building where I work as a tutor, I knew it was the place for me, too. It was good to be back at school to see the kids, to share my name, "Mrs. Awesome", and to listen and laugh with the teachers and administration. I love having a place where I show up, say, "I'm here to help," and do a wide variety of tasks from tutoring to moving boxes to labeling file folders.

8. My secret weapon for ordination and world domination
Since Paul was an infant, we've had a special babysitter. As the kids have gotten older and my responsibilities outside the house have grown, I have been so grateful to Gabby Rosas for being able to pick up the slack to care for the children when I am in class or in meetings. I am so grateful that when the children are in her loving hands, I never have to worry at all. She's smart, capable, and she loves them. I couldn't ask for more.

9. Jansport
Recently my backpack from high school started getting worn out. I know I look 22, but actually, my 20 year high school reunion will be next year. That means my blue Jansport backpack has been with me through high school, college, and children. It's also lifetime guaranteed. I sent it back to the Jansport warranty department and they fixed it and sent it back for free. I did splurge and buy a new one this year, but I'll be using the same Jansport backpacks until I'm in the nursing home.

10. Adam
I am so grateful for my consistent and consistently flexible, husband. He works hard and doesn't get upset when situations arise like my locking my keys in the house or all of us in the kitchen at the same time while he's tying to iron his work clothes. His brain and worldview are 180 degrees different than mine, but it almost always makes us better together. I'm so right-brained, I really value his left-brained nature.

Now onto homework, for which I am also grateful!

The Blessings of Banana Bread

This morning I dropped off two loaves of fresh banana bread to a friend from high school. Our 20 year reunion is coming up next year and I hadn't seen her since graduation. I marvel at how my life path has taken me on an unplanned route, and how grateful I am for it.
Next week I head back to class. I'm working to earn my Master of Divinity degree at Brite Divinity School in Fort Worth. Eventually I want to work as a helping pastor in the United Methodist Church and also write Bible studies.
When we had children, Adam and I set up college funds for them. Each month we contribute to them and hopefully by the time they do reach college age, we'll have enough to cover what scholarships won't. That's been part of the plan. What wasn't in the plan was my return to school. So when I did enroll in seminary, it was with the understanding that it wasn't in the budget and I'd have to come up with the funds if I wanted to go. Adam and I both learned about debt the first time we went to college and I vowed not to get a student loan.
So instead of a student loan, I apply for scholarships and bake banana bread. Before I returned to school, I was brainstorming with my friend Ardis about how I could find money for school. She suggested baking banana bread. I love to bake, so it was a natural fit.
It's my fourth semester of baking my way through graduate school. This semester, so far, I've received orders for 57 loaves. Every dollar goes straight to my TCU tuition account, and so far, I've been able to stay debt-free.
I am so grateful to each and every customer. Not only does the money pay my tuition, it is a reminder again and again that I am not going to school alone or for my benefit. I am going to school to learn to serve God and God's people.
Those four eggs, four bananas, and two sticks of butter have also helped me build relationships and reconnect with loved ones from different stages of my life. Today I got to see and hug a woman I haven't seen in almost 20 years. Banana bread is delicious, but it also is an excuse for me to see friends that I've lost contact with. New friends and old friends help me by eating banana bread. Family does, too. On my customer list are high school friends, college friends, stay-at-home mom friends, teacher friends, home church friends, and new church friends. I am grateful for each one.
When I'm in class next week, I'll be thinking and thanking God for each and every person that has supported me in my ministry path. Banana bread and loved ones have helped me arrive this far; I can't wait to see what the future bakes up.

Thank you to my support crew

Last night, right before we rushed off to the circus, I arrived home from local pastor licensing school, where I had been since Sunday night. Licensing school is just a fancy name for Methodist ministry boot camp. From 7:45 a.m. to after 10 p.m. we were immersed in knowledge and relationship building with others pursing ministry goals in the UMC. We stayed at Stillwater Lodge, a Methodist retreat center located on the Paluxy River in Glen Rose.

For me, just arriving at Licensing School was a feat. Our classes were in two separate sessions, a weekend, then six days at home and five days there. Just before I left the first time, our sweet 13 year old Yorkie, Wesley Eugene, seemed to be on his deathbed and my childcare relief was stranded at Carswell AFB with a broken down car. I rushed to the vet, left Wesley in Doggie ICU, and met up with Mama Joy, our 80 year young friend who enjoys playing with the children. Since I left in chaos, I returned to chaos, and vowed to spend my six days home cleaning and organizing for when I was gone for part II.

I left the house Sunday afternoon with a two-page, ten-point-type written list of instructions about how to survive while I was gone. I had stocked the pantry with all the kids' favorites and simple meals Claire, age 9, could cook for lunch and dinner. The plan was to have our sweet babysitter, Gabby, watch them during the day and Adam, of course, take care of things at night.

I am proud of them. They didn't watch too much TV, they learned new things, the house looks normal, and they all survived, even Wesley Eugene. (In fact, I think Wesley put on 3 lbs while I was gone, making him a chubby 7-pounder.) There was a fire in the kitchen, but the kitchen didn't catch fire. Gabby took them to church for children's activities and to the library for books. She's been babysitting for us since Paul was an infant and I am so grateful to leave the children in her loving, qualified hands.

My husband, Adam, and I have different gifts and roles in the running of the household. Mostly, he takes care of everything outside of the house and I take care of everything in the house. He takes care of bills and I take care of babies. I had never been away from home for this long, so he definitely had to move outside of his comfort zone to pick up the slack while I was gone. I am so grateful for him and his patience with me as I pursue a life path that none of us planned. I certainly couldn't successfully balance all the duties in my life without his anchor balancing me out and keeping me grounded.

Licensing school for me was a gift in itself. Stillwater Lodge is beautiful and I made friends with the manager, who constantly provided everything all of us needed. A queen bed to myself and a jacuzzi bathtub. Beautiful scenery and a small beach where I wiggled my toes in the sand. Stars. That was beautiful and I will be savoring the images for a while.

The beach

We had a grueling schedule of classes. We were on task, with breaks for meals and leg-stretching, from about 7:45 a.m. to after 10 p.m. almost every night. That sounds intimidating, but I felt like a dehydrated woman in the desert who has been offered water. I was trying to ingest everything all at once. All the people, all the scenes, all the knowledge, all at once. Summer is always difficult for me because I focus on the children all day and sometimes forget that I am intelligent and can have intelligent conversations. So I went from discussions of the latest Arthur episode to theologies of baptism. I went from being surrounded by children to being surrounded by adults who are passionate about the same issues I am passionate about.

Part of the week included preaching. I had never preached a sermon and was worried about this for weeks. I had practiced, I had fretted, I had let several people read my manuscript, but I still didn't feel confident. I had received encouraging words from several friends and even a firm, inspirational talk from one. I still dreaded it.

I am firm in my call to ministry. I know that God has equipped me with gifts that are useful for the church. I am constantly affirmed in my call when I get excited about planning worship or helping a team get organized to communicate their message to the congregation. I love working behind the scenes designing graphics, planning communications, listening to people share their story, helping others clarify and communicate. I love teaching Bible studies and leading prayers. I love writing about my faith and God and sharing it with others. In all that, though, I don't feel comfortable preaching.

Part of it is lack of training. I've never had any public speaking training and what I know about writing sermons came from this session and a crash course a friend was able to give me before I left. Of course I've listened to thousands, but as far as creating one, I am at a loss.

On my assigned time, I approached the podium, spoke about two words and then began crying. I couldn't do it. I dried my eyes and face, took a deep breath and tried again. I got about five words out and had to leave again. All of the sudden I was crying uncontrollably and couldn't even catch my breath. Anxiety and self-doubt was taking over. I did get through it the third time, but not without some tears during.

I share this because what happened during and after made it worth my public vulnerability. Two ladies from my group left with me and got me laughing with silly metaphors about Jesus. One taught me her personal meditation techniques and the other had me breathing through a coffee stir stick to steady my breath. Both of them sang hymns to me and encouraged me.

Afterward, I had several honest and open conversations about anxiety with another friend. That's a problem I've dealt with for a long time, but being honest about a problem like that with someone that hasn't experienced it isn't usually helpful. If you fall apart in public like that, though, it's a blessing in that it opens the door for others to share their story with you. I can't pretend I wasn't anxious because I was standing in front of a room displaying my anxiety. I do feel better knowing that other people have similar problems. Those conversations helped me feel better and more hopeful that I can become better equipped to deal with it when it arises suddenly.

So now I'm back home, full of  new knowledge, and empowered to face the future, whatever it holds. I am grateful for new friendships. I am grateful for everyone back at home who helped me get this far. I am grateful for everyone who continues to help push me forward. Enough theology, though. I've got to mop the floor.