Seminary, Work, and Being a Present Parent this week

Just so I don't forget it and so I make sure all my readers share in the hilarity...

On the first day of class I was printing off all my class materials for that night.  I mentioned to Adam that I would be discussing Martin Luther. He says, "How many theses was it that he nailed to the church door? I can't remember." Claire immediately said, "Who put their feces on a church door? Why would they do that?"

And thus was my first seminary theological discussion.  Feces vs. Theses.  

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I wanted to share about my day yesterday because it is becoming typical of my days now.  I am so glad that I did research on time management last semester, because all my new knowledge is being put to use!

Yesterday

4:30 a.m. Jump out of bed, turn on coffee, start the computer, work on my paper on Martin Luther and  his understanding of grace.

6:30 a.m. Just finished printing the rough draft of my paper. Make sure everyone's out of bed, start making lunches.

7:45 a.m. Get kids to the school, race home.

8:30 a.m. Send rough draft of worship bulletin announcements to all who need to edit it, race out the door to my school.

9:00 a.m. to 1:55 p.m. I tutor in groups of 5-6, about 40 kids. One child got sent back to class for standing in his chair. One child got sent back to class for punching the assignment/table. The rest act precious and love reading with me. Each child anticipates the end of group when they get a cool sticker (My Little Pony or Transformers, their choice. Yesterday one boy chose a My Little Pony, but all the girls opted not to receive a Transformers sticker.)

1:55 p.m. I RUN, RUN, RUN to my car so I can make it to TCU in time for my writing appointment.

2:10 p.m. I arrive on the TCU campus and remember I'm not the only person that attends this school and I must park four blocks away from my destination.

2:20 p.m. After running as fast as I can and speedwalking when I am weary, I arrive five minutes late to my appointment. I tell my tutor that I will be a size six by the end of the day.  She reviews my paper on Martin Luther and gives me some valuable tips on how to improve. She kindly asks me to point out my thesis statement and I realize it stayed in my head and didn't make it to the page.

2:50 p.m. More running. It must be a typical class change period, because there are TCU students everywhere, all looking skinny and beautiful.  I don't care. I have to get my precious children from school. I plow them over with my giant backpack and giant coat flapping in the wind.

2:58 p.m. Arrived in car, called the school to tell them I would be late.  Driving as carefully and as quickly as I can, I realize there are two policemen going the same way I am.  I don't speed, but in my head I'm driving the Indy 500.

3:10 p.m. Arrived late to get the kids. Have phoned a friend to tell her we would be late for play date.  The kids aren't mad; they are laughing at my description of how I was running across the TCU campus to come get them.

3:30 p.m. Have baked some cookie dough for snacks for guests. Claire has laid out a spread of healthy snacks. Scrubbed bathroom for freshness, picked up terrible messes that we don't want anyone to see. Accepted that laundry will be seen and that's okay.  Doorbell rings.

4:00 p.m. Claire has shut herself in her room with her friend and Paul and his friend are in the hallway frustrated at the secrecy of girls. Paul steps on a clothespin and pinches his foot.  He screams unceasingly for 30 minutes. I worry that something is broken because he is never upset like that.

4:20 p.m. I call Adam to tell him Paul is possible injured badly although I can't see where. I hang up with him and call the doctor's office. I leave a message with the on-call nurse.  I try to ice Paul's foot. I put a bandaid on it. I distract him while I put a sock on it.  I pretend the dog is a doctor inspecting him. I sing cheesy songs. I offer to take him to the vet. None of this stops his crying.

5:00 p.m. The on call nurse phones us. I tell her what happened and during the conversation I realize Paul is running on two feet all throughout the house.  He has been healed! 

5:10 p.m. Company leaves and I remember Adam won't be home for dinner.  I won't be cooking then. We'll get drive through food after bath time.  I put Paul in the tub and Claire begins a two-year old meltdown.  She is seven.  I shut her in her room and make an important phone call.

5:30 p.m. Claire's drama has subsided. Paul is out of tub.  Claire gets in tub.  I talk with Paul and snuggle him for a few minutes.

6:00 p.m. Both kids are clean and dressed for bed. I snuggle Claire for a few minutes. I let them pick where they want dinner.  They pick McDonald's. (Yuck!) I take them there anyway. I try to find the healthiest option for my dinner and settle on Popeye's chicken, which isn't healthy at all, but at least it's not McDonald's.

6:45 p.m. Start reading bedtime stories.  Doze off a couple of times, but successfully read about Bad Kitty and Claire's book, which I can't even remember this morning.

7:45 p.m. Kids in bed. Time to clean up the kitchen from the maddening day. Pick up as many messes as I have energy for.  Pour myself a glass of wine.

8:50 p.m. Move to the bedroom with my same glass of wine to read.  Adam is still at his engineering event.  I read and try to stay awake as long as I can.

9:15 p.m. I believe I was snoring at this point and Adam arrived home.  We'll get to talk in the morning.

And today I start the cycle over, but instead of tutoring I have church work and instead of an appointment at the Writing Center I have class.  Hopefully today won't contain a mortal injury from a clothespin.

Clearing the clutter of my brain

I haven't written in a few days because my brain was just too cluttered.  This weekend we had a child who rotated between definitely ill to healthy as a horse.  Our air-conditioner went out; the capacitor broke.  Adam ripped out cabinets, new ones were delivered.  It was Mother's Day.  Then it was back to school and work and doing laundry and cooking and cleaning a bit at a time and drinking coffee.

On Monday I left chaos at home to go hang paper on walls again for testing at school.  I tried to use that as a time of spiritual reflection, but it's hard clear your mind and pray when you're fighting a stapler and a tape gun and the butcher paper keeps wrinkling.  Fortunately I completed my task early, so I was able to have an hour before Paul got out of school.  I spent that hour talking and starting to brainstorm for summer programs for church.

Monday night I had Bible study, which I love, and which I have decided is worth the effort to attend.  Everything has to be set in motion as soon as I pick up Claire in order for me to get out of the house.  We were doing well, but Adam got held up at work so I had to take the kids with me.  I decided it was okay for them to have McDonald's.  They don't have it very often, and really, what harm could one meal be?  So although I had a home-cooked meal planned and in the works, I allowed myself to drive through McDonald's for the kids.

Tuesday started just as frantic.  The dog keeps waking me up at 3:30 a.m. to go outside and I struggle to fall back asleep.  I refuse to get up that early.  So when I do get up, it's a little later than normal, but that's okay. Lunches are packed with food I dig out of boxes since half of the kitchen is packed up.  Claire got to school on time, but Paul wanted to spend a long time looking for a toy that starts with Z.  The closest we could find was Adam's He-Man toy named Buzz-Off.  Paul was kind of embarrassed it didn't start with Z, so even though he made a good show of going to take it, it stayed in the car.  Poor Adam was late to work because he stayed to help us search for a Zebra or something representing a Zoo.

Luckily my Tuesday meeting was short so I was able to sit in my office by myself for several hours yesterday, working, and I feel so much better.  I was able to put all the brainstorming ideas that have been floating in my head down on paper and create several informational flyers and announcement sheets.  I was also able to sit in quiet by myself.

Tomorrow morning our Home Depot pals will be here at the house to install our cabinets and life will slowly, slowly start making it way back to normal.

Here's what I've learned about myself when I'm this busy:

1.  I am discombobulated and have a hard time thinking in a straight line.
2.  I start forgetting important things.  Yesterday I thought I put my bag on my shoulder, but it's still sitting on my desk.
3.  I talk too much when I'm busy like this.  It's like my brain is too crowded and I have to get some words out.  I interrupt more and listen less.
4.  I'm crankier.
5.  When I'm this busy and distracted, I have almost zero tolerance for anything that's not on my to-do list.

It's not ideal, but it's where I'm standing right now.  This post isn't going to win any writing awards, but I am doing what I'm supposed to.  "Put your butt in the chair and write because you only have today."  Thank you, Anne Lamott.  I am also giving myself permission to not be perfect at writing or at life.

Stepping into the Sunlight

Today I'm sick.  I've got a disgusting nose and cough and I'm staying home from work to avoid sharing germs and getting worse.
Since I'm staying home sick today, oddly my to-do list is longer than normal.  I'll be at home, so why can't I do a full day's work from the office as well as clean the entire house and fold and hang up eight loads of laundry?
I'd never expect that much from anyone else, but for some reason, I expect more from myself.
I had these grandiose and impossible plans for the day, but then I stepped outside.  It is a beautiful day in Fort Worth, Texas and the only sounds I can hear right now are my fingers on the keyboard and an orchestra of birds in the backyard.

www.sxu.hu

Stepping outside in the sunlight always helps me gain perspective and remind myself where I am.
At both of my jobs, I work in a classroom or an office without windows.  I get frantically busy and focused on the tasks at hand.  Some days I am teaching my heart out, trying to get third graders to comprehend reading enough to pass their test.  Other days I am engulfed in trying to communicate every important activity at our church in many mediums.
But just when that molehill starts looking like a mountain, I have the privilege of stepping outside.  I can only work away from home during the same time Paul is in preschool, so about 2 every afternoon, I step outside.
When I exit the building and feel the sun on my face, the mountains shrink back into molehills and I know that I am loved.
Even on a rainy or cold day, when I step outside and feel wetness on my cheeks or cold wind, I am reminded of how small my problems are and how big God is.
Switching from an indoor frenzy to a walk outside to my car allows me to transition and reset.  I'm able to put my tasks in perspective and not worry so much about what is happening inside the building.  I remind myself once again that I am not the Messiah and I can't fix everything and save the world.
I am just one person who loves God, loves my family, and loves sunlight.

Busy-ness and Chaos

Here are two photos of a typical scene at the Boyette household. Complete chaos. On the left side, you see Wesley the dog with his moose, trying to entice Paul to play with him. In the center, you see Claire with Christmas stockings on her feet, first talking on the phone, next trying to steal the phone from Sarah. Sarah is on her back, bare feet in the air. All around the frame you see clutter of toys and Christmas.

The holidays were so busy for us. I was happy the day after Christmas because I thought things would calm down. They didn't.

I know everyone is busy, but I hate it. I have this image in my mind of my children, and me leaning over them, arms around them, shielding them from the world and its busy-ness. As a former teacher, I know kids thrive on consistency and routine, and I haven't been able to give either to my kids for about a month. I've been trying to keep our schedule free so we can be at home and enjoy our family and Adam's time off, but we just haven't been able to.

Adam lost one of his great aunts this past weekend. She was very old and had been in the nursing home for a long time. She lived in Louisiana. We got the call on Sunday night, and while I am sorry that she died, neither Adam or I had ever met her, so we didn't grieve. Apparently his dad knew her a long time ago.

Every day for a month we had had something to do, so I had looked forward to this week for rest and relaxation, and actually cleaning the house. If you've ever seen my house, you know that is not my top priority, but it should get done sometime. I wanted to spend time playing with the kids' new toys and taking them to the park. I wanted Adam to go to the library with us and experience story time.

Adam's dad doesn't drive, and Adam felt that we needed to take him to the funeral. Adam also felt we needed to go with him. So we took our kids, exhausted from the holidays, to Louisiana. Five hours to get there on Monday, five hours back on Tuesday. Adam did all the driving, but I hated that we had to take up two entire days to go to a funeral for a woman that we've never met. I almost feel like it's disrespectful to go to a funeral for someone you haven't met and haven't even heard of.

Adam's dad wanted to go, though, so we took him. He was very appreciative, but I just wanted to stay home.

Wednesday the kids were starting to get sick. Coughing a little bit, runny noses. Again, I wanted to keep them home, but we also wanted to go to the two New Year's parties we had RSVPed to. So we took both kids out again.

Thursday I wanted to stay home again, but Adam had already promised my grandfather he would come and help him fix his lawnmower. He insisted we come with him. So we took both kids out again.

Friday I took a breath this morning and looked forward to a day at home. Finally. Then I realized both kids had fevers, Paul had 101.3, and I had to take them to the doctor. Our doctor's office was closed today, so we had to go to the Urgent Care Clinic on the other side of town. It took all day.

I don't know what to do. I am trying my best to keep them home and keep them well, but it's not working. Both kids are very sick with respiratory infections. I guess that will keep us at home.