Finding My Voice

Yesterday was my day to put on my teacher hat.  I am a part-time tutor at an elementary school, which means I show up with my teaching certificate and I teach whatever I'm asked to whomever I'm asked to teach.  It's nice because you can't get bored; every day is unique.
During testing time, I had two days where my main objective for the day was to hang black paper to cover instructional material in the hallway so students couldn't get any ideas as they went to lunch or the restroom.  (I believe this was a state-wide practice because I know we weren't the only school doing it.  It was required.)
Another day during testing time, my job was to pace the hallways.  I walked seven miles that day, all in the building.  On that day, and other test days, I was also needed to relieve teachers so they could use the restroom.  Every class I went into, I assured the teachers that I was certified, had signed an oath on testing practices, and they could escape for a few minutes.  One questioned my teaching pedigree.  "So you have taught before?  What school?  What grade?  And what do you do here?"  Once all that was answered, she felt safe enough to leave her students for a moment and use the restroom.
If you don't know, state-mandated testing is serious business.  Entire schools shut down to focus on the test. My school is no different.  We had a teacher watching each restroom in the building to ensure there wasn't any talking or cheating occurring. Hand dryers in the bathroom were disabled and paper towels used to keep the noise level down.  One teacher was creating unique origami from paper towels as she spent the day staring at a restroom.  Extra monitors paced the cafeteria to make sure a silent lunch room was actually silent.  No class, testing or not, was allowed to have recess.
The administration at my school works hard to keep everything positive.  We all have to follow the rules from the district and the state, but they keep smiles on their faces, encouraging students and teachers as they walk the hallways.  The lounge was full of baked goods to wish teachers good luck.  Test days aren't fun for anyone, but they do try their best to make them tolerable.
Yesterday when I showed up for school, I learned that I would be teaching fourth grade math.  The regular teacher had been pulled so he could focus on teaching struggling kids that have to test again.  Immediately, I was anxious because I've never taught an entire day of fourth grade, some of the kids are as tall as me, and I'm not a math whiz.  I took a deep breath, though, and decided to make the best of it.
I scanned the material the students were working on and decided it was doable.  So then I started having some fun.  Inside, I was laughing hysterically all day, but somehow, on the outside, I kept a straight face.
I told the students that if they didn't get quiet, they would be forced to listen to me sing and join the band.  I started singing the theme song from The Sound of Music.  Oddly, my melodious voice made them be quiet.
A few students kept talking, so I made them move their desk to the center of the room so they could be in my band.  I hummed a bad impersonation of a musical scale and encouraged them to join along.  They decided math was more interesting.
One boy was apparently the local pen dealer, because I caught him throwing brand new pens across the room to his buddies.  I was ecstatic, told him how much I loved writing with good pens, and got three to stick in my ponytail.  One boy, who was no less than seven feet tall, was having a stare-down with me and refused to give me his orange pen.  Inside, I was intimidated, but I stood my ground, with my hand out, singing "Doe a deer, a female deer, Ray, a drop of golden sun..........."  I got the pen quickly after I began singing.
After the students finished working independently, we went over the paper and checked their answers.  On the ones I didn't know right off, I had students stick their thumbs up to tell me which one was the right one.  I figured out the right answer by popular vote more than once.  (Yes, I could do the math, but making them tell me the answer was much quicker.)
By the end of the day, I was exhausted, and had successfully taught math to two classes of 24 fourth graders.  No one wanted to actually start a Sound of Music band with me, and I am not going to switch to full-time teaching, but I survived.  I found my voice, and that was enough for the day.