Exciting Excitement from Exciteland

Last week I was accepted to Brite Divinity School. I hope to enter in January. I'm very, very, very excited about seminary and learning, being around people, and becoming a professional Jesus-lover.

I'm also very excited about the Be the Change book. My friend Rev. Jason Valendy blogs regularly and decided to compile some of his best work into a book format. I had the privilege of communicating with him along the way to watch his process and help him edit his work. A couple of weeks after he started, he now has an epub book!  It is available for all platforms free, at the link here. I like Jason's writing because it challenges me to look at the intersection between scripture and the world in a different light. He co-pastors Saginaw UMC with his wife, Estee.

Once I got my acceptance letter to seminary, I had a conversation with Adam where we realized I need to raise about $1,000 to pay for my first semester's tuition. I anticipate having more scholarships in the fall, but if I want to attend this spring (I do) I need to raise some funds.

So I figured, why not write a book myself?  I had never thought I could do it so soon.  I did some research and it turns out that I have all the software I need and almost enough material.  So that's what I'm doing. I'm writing a book! I'm going to sell it for $1 or $2 to raise money for tuition.

My book is tentatively titled "Goofiness and Grace."

I'm very excited about having a "necessity is the motherhood of invention" drive to create my first published work. Stay tuned for details!

Bird by Bird, a book review

I discovered Anne Lamott when I was in college, working at Half Price Books.  I read Operating Instructions at the recommendation of a friend.  I loved it so much I still give it as a gift to new mothers.  I also started buying everything that Anne Lamott was tangentially related to.

One book of hers that has been staring me in the face since 2001 is Bird by Bird.  It's about writing, and I have been gearing myself up to read it for 12 years.  (I know this because it still has the HPB sticker with the date on it.)  After hearing her in person say, "Put your butt in the chair and write because today is all you have," I did just that.  I also decided now was the time to read this book.

The cover says the book is about writing, and truly, that's half of it.  The other half is about life and being real and immersed in reality, and paying attention.

Here are some quotes that resonated with me from the book:

She quotes G.K. Chesterton: "Hope is the power of being cheerful in circumstances we know to be desperate."

"Clutter is wonderfully fertile ground -- You can still discover new treasures under all those piles, clean things up, edit things out, fix things, get a grip."

"Geneen Roth says awareness is learning to keep yourself company.  And then learn to be more compassionate company, as if you were somebody you are fond of and wish to encourage."

"Perfection is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist's true friend.  What people somehow (inadvertently, I'm sure) forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here--and by extension, what we're supposed to be writing."

"Think of reverence as awe, as presence in openness to the world."

"There is ecstasy in paying attention....to see the world sacramentally, to see everything as an outward and visible sign of inward, invisible grace."

My absolute favorite quote is this one:

"A big heart is both a clumsy and delicate thing; it doesn't protect itself and it doesn't  hide.  It stands out, like a baby's fontanel, where you can see the soul pulse through.  You can see this pulse in them now."

Cleaning up, Cleaning Out

My house is a constant explosion of toys, books, and laundry. Dirty laundry is confined to laundry baskets, and dirty dishes usually are confined to the sink, so my house isn't as dirty as it is cluttered.
I'm always worried about it. I have a hard time "living in the now" when there's always a load of dishes or clothes to wash, toys to pick up, a meal to cook, errands to run, etc. I know my kids are growing up faster than I can keep up with them, but I have so much guilt about keeping up with dishes/laundry/cooking/shopping/correspondence/visiting old folks, I have a hard time focusing on any one thing.
Last week I decided to focus on cleaning, and maybe that would make me feel better.
Claire has about 1,000 books. Some people are always buying their kids toys, but I always buy mine books. We have baskets of books all over the house to encourage reading. Both kids love reading, but Claire had so many books that we couldn't read them all. I sat on her floor for several hours and went through each book and toy. We kept everything she wanted and immediately boxed everything she didn't.
The books we took to Half Price Books. Claire proudly sold them back and recieved $10 in exchange. I told her she could purchase two books with her money and put the rest in her bank. I was touched when she decided one of her books would be for Paul. So she got to purchase two books, had $2 left over, and put that in her bank. I got to condense her library into one bookcase. No more baskets of books to drive me nuts.
With her toys, we took them to Goodwill. I explained to her that some children don't have any toys and we'll give them to Goodwill and they will give them to the kids that need them. She was totally fine with this. We turned in two bags of toys and condensed all the rest into her toy boxes and kitchen. She was happy to give away some of her toys, and I felt like a load had been lifted off of me. It's been a week now and her room is still neat. She hasn't mourned the loss of any of her toys or books.
I realized that I was more attached to all her "stuff" than she was. Kids get over stuff pretty easily. I found that out again when she lost her favorite stuffed dog at Albertson's on Friday. I advised her not to bring it in the store in case she lost it, but left the decision up to her. The dog did get lost, either because of her or because Paul pitched it overboard; I'm not sure. But I was sad about it; almost crying when I realized it was gone. Claire didn't shed a tear or throw a fit. Instead, she requested that I print off a picture on the computer so she could play with a new dog. I found a picture of Clifford, printed it out, and she put it on a leash. She feeds that piece of paper and drags it around the house on a real dog leash.
It's amazing what my kids teach me on a daily basis. Let go of "stuff." Have fun with what you've got.