Recognizing my role

I remember a time long ago and far away when the center of my life was me.  I don't know if you know, but the earth hasn't always revolved around the sun.  It used to revolve around me.

As I get older, I realize that I am not the sun.  I am surprisingly not the center of the universe, and that's okay.

Whenever I get to thinking that I am still the sun, I'm brought back down to Earth by circumstances.  My children often unintentionally remind me that the universe doesn't revolve around me.  They are trying to be their own stars and creating a universe that revolves around them.  As they get older, they will also learn that their world isn't the only world and there are other people and events outside of their bubble.

Recognizing my role in the world, noticing where I stand, is sometimes difficult.  

Last week we visited a fabulous museum in St. Louis.  I had on tennis shoes expecting to climb just as much as the kids.  Once we arrived, I realized that wasn't going to be the case.  Climbing up tunnels made of rebar isn't comfortable, especially when you're not a size six.  At first I was kind of pouty and wanted to go request my admission fee back since I wouldn't be participating.  Then I remembered that I wasn't the only person in my group.  There were three other people who were having the time of their life.  So I could pout about my limits or I could recognize my role for the day and have fun anyway.  When the day was over, I had a hundred pictures of death-defying heights climbed, balls thrown, ramps run, slides slid, and beautiful artwork.  My job that day was to be an audience, which amplified the fun my family was having because they could all come back and say, "Did you see that?  Wasn't that awesome?"  I could nod and agree that it was awesome because I had seen it all.  If I had been climbing myself I would have missed the joy on their faces.

Everyone needs an audience, and more and more I am asked to stop what I am doing to listen or watch.  Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I recognize the importance of the fleeting moment of watching a Ninja Turtle battle and I stop what I'm doing to pay attention.  Often I am overwhelmed with the task at hand and cannot stop.  

My brain is a constant rotating to-do list and sometimes that consumes me.  I am grateful for the times that I am at work rotating through my list and someone comes and interrupts me so I can listen.  I am thankful for the times that my kids stop me from what I'm doing so I can refocus on something beyond myself.  I'm still trying to learn to be grateful for phone call interruptions.  

I know that I am important, a contributing member of the human race.  I also know now that I am not the only member and sometimes my job is to just sit and listen.