Our first adventure yesterday was a trip to Dollar Tree. I had to buy stickers for our garage sale and the kids were allowed to select one toy each. Paul, predictably, got a squishy ball. Claire selected some magnets called "Snake Eggs" which make a noise when you clack them together. She immediately renamed them dinosaur eggs and was delighted to explain their magic to us. Then she dropped them in the car.
Wailing loudly, she searched through the toys and other debris in our backseat to find them but her seatbelt impeded progress. I let her unbuckle at a long red light. She still couldn't find them and kept wailing that they were gone forever.
I had to pick up an item at church so I rolled all the windows down, opened doors, and left the kids outside digging through the backseat to look for the dinosaur eggs. Claire was crying uncontrollably and throwing toys at Paul. Paul kept reassuring her that her eggs were not lost and even offered one of his toys to comfort her. All the way home they made each other happy again by singing "BettieCarol, BettieCarol, BettieCarol Sherry!!" (Just go with it if you don't know about this one. Kind of a long story.) They decided to make BettieCarol some cards and Claire said, "But it's going to be hard to make her a card because I'll have to say her name wrong to spell it. I'll have to say it real slow."
Once home, the dinosaur eggs were forgotten and I had 15 minutes to make lunch before Adam arrived to eat with us. Luckily I had already planned it so I whipped it together and voila, we had lunch. We all watched Wheel of Fortune while eating and the kids enjoyed guessing the puzzles. Often, Claire can beat Adam and me to solving one.
Paul sat and actually read a book to me. (He's started reading this summer!) Then the babysitter arrived so I could go to the doctor for a checkup.
An hour and a half later, I walked back in the house and Paul, in full Spider-Man costume, looked at me and moaned, "Ahhhhh." He said he didn't have enough time to play. I said I would pretend to not be there yet. I went to Claire's room and saw she and the sitter had draped a sheet over her door frame. It was now a castle door and the babysitter was renamed "Belle." She told me that she had been fighting with Spiderman, the castle guard, but was then informed that princesses don't fight so was now confined to the castle.
"Belle's" brother arrived to pick her up and we all sat and talked for a while. Paul was doing cannonballs on the couch and shouting "Feces!" Claire was saying something about fecal matter. I was mortified. Their father has taught them all the scientific words for poop and they take joy in sharing their knowledge with others.
I attempted to have an intelligent conversation with adults while the children interrupted with more fecal vocabulary words. I had to send them to their room several times, but it's hard to shut down the poop talk when the guests are laughing. I assured them that this was not a performance just for them but that the kids unfortunately are normally comfortable with talking about such topics. The same girl who drew a giant heart on the driveway that says "Jesus loves us" was explaining that she likes to refer to the bathroom as the "defecation station."
I continued to be mortified, but when you are sitting at a kitchen table talking with friends who can clearly see the five loads of laundry waiting to be hung as well as the He-Mans and Ninja Turtles commingled on the floor, not to mention the kids who are dancing and talking about the bathroom, it's hard to pretend that this isn't your life.
After they left, I had fifteen minutes to get the kids a snack and get them ready for our next adventure. Adam was using his truck to help move a swing set from one friend's house to another, so we made it a family affair. Paul and Claire ran around our friend's backyard until Adam was ready to go. We all chatted for a bit and then went on to the next house.
While the men reconstructed the swing, the mom and I chatted. She didn't know we were coming, so she hadn't had time to prepare the house for company. It's always comforting to see other houses in their natural state. It reminds me that other people have dirty dishes and toys on the floor.
For some reason, particularly in the summer, I believe that it's possible to have a spotless house, well-behaved children, and engaged intellects. That is the standard that I strive for daily and fall-short of daily.
In reality, I have a messy house and two happy, intelligent, caring children who share a love of fecal vocabulary with my husband. Oh well, spotless houses and spotless lives are boring anyway.
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