Learning about prayer from kids

Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk with eight preteens about prayer.

We started with prayer mandalas, so the kids would be focused on prayer.  (If you would like to meditate and pray while coloring a mandala, I get mine here.)  Coloring can be a centering activity, where you clear your mind and focus on your relationship with God.

We talked about the different times people pray, at church, before dinner, before bed, when you're feeling sad.  We also talked about praying when we were overwhelmed.  Each child offered an example of when they are overwhelmed.  Of the eight, three listed a problem on a screen "When I accidentally drown my character on my X box game."  "When I'm playing with my friend online and he chooses a hard opponent."  "When I'm trying to avoid being killed on the game."  It was fascinating to me because they weren't being silly.  These are real times when these young people feel overwhelmed.  Before the evening, I had anticipated their responses to be something like too much homework, extracurricular activities, or stressful relationships with parents, siblings, or friends.  The other half of the room listed these.

One of the ways to pray that I introduced them to was breath prayer.  The prayer repeats a one sentence prayer with each breath.  The one I use most is inhale: "I want to feel" and exhale "Your peace and grace."  (If you want to know more about breath prayer, there's an excellent explanation here.)

Usually I use breath prayer to request something intangible like peace or grace.  But it can also be used for tangible items.  I recently taught my six year old daughter how to do this and encouraged her to craft her own.  After a period of time I asked her what hers was.  She said, "I want to  make....good grades at school."  I was surprised for two reasons 1. She makes great grades...her lowest was 98 this six weeks and 2. I never thought about using breath prayer for something tangible.  For me it's a centering, calming, focusing, spiritual tool.  

I just love how when I think I'm smart and have something figured out, a child comes and teaches me something new.  (Luckily I usually don't tell others I've got it figured out so when I continue learning, I'm the only embarrassed one.)

Prayer

I have been reading the book, Spiritual Classics, edited by Richard J. Foster and Emilie Griffin. This book has prompted me to examine my prayer life and how it has evolved.

For most of my life, I have put prayer in a box. I believed you must bow your head, close your eyes and follow other traditions or you weren't actually communicating with God. Over the last few years, I have opened my mind and extended my definition of prayer.

Now I believe:

1. Eyes closed or open; God doesn't care. If you're praying while driving, you better keep those eyes open!

2. Formal introductions aren't necessary. If you feel like addressing God as "Our Father who art in heaven," that's great, but he also hears you when you start mid-sentence.

3. You don't have to say "Amen." In fact, beyond prayers for food and corporate prayer at church, I never say "Amen." That implies your praying is over. Mine never is. My mind works 90 mph, so I will pray a little bit, think a little bit, and then pray some more. I think God can handle it.

4. Sometimes you don't even have to use words. You can offer God your feelings. You can just think about your problem or your praise and mentally send it up to him. He gets it.

5. I believe physical actions can also be prayers. Feeding a homeless person or helping up a fallen one is a prayer of service to God. Any action you do that extends love to another is a prayer.

6. You can write them down instead of saying them aloud. I enjoy this because it helps me focus, and then months later I can look back in my journal and see how my worries of that day compared to other days. It puts some perspective in my prayer life.

7. Sitting quietly and listening to your heart is also a form of prayer.

This is by no means a complete list of forms of prayer. That's the point. You can't make a complete list because you can't quantify all the numbers of ways to pray. People think up new ones every day and God still hears them.