Reaching for the Stars

Just one year ago I came to the understanding the seminary was in my future. I hadn't planned on acting on this understanding for ten years, but life often moves faster than my plans.

Now I am a graduate student, working toward a Master of Divinity at Brite Divinity School.  On Monday I entered the process to become a candidate for ministry in the United Methodist Church. The Earth is spinning and I am propelled forward toward reaching a goal.

My world has a newness that both disorientates and excites me. I feel like a ballerina balanced on one toe, stretched as far and as high as I can to reach a dream.

I could topple easily. I hold so much as I reach for that next star. Two children, two jobs, a husband, and now homework. It appears that a strong breeze would knock me over into despair. But I know that won't happen because while I am balancing on one toe, while I am stretched to my entire limit to reach for that star, I am held up by loved ones.

Almost daily, a friend or acquaintance congratulates me on my new goal. My children proudly explain to teachers about Mama going to TCU. Family members that I don't see often offer their support. Friends who've known me for 20 years are cheering for me. Loved ones pray for me daily.

I am continuously humbled and grateful. I'm honored as I purchase a parking pass for a major university. I'm giddy as I purchase my four textbooks. I'm grateful as I pay my tuition bill in full thanks to baking 40+ loaves of banana bread and donations of loved ones. I'm humbled as I pull onto campus early for an appointment, thinking I have so much free time and then realize I must walk four blocks to my destination. I'm relieved as my professor confesses he usually goes to bed at 9 p.m. and works hard toward an energetic presence in this night class.

Grasping the star of my dream will take a long time, but I am confident that the universe has recognized I belong here. Even if I get weary, I won't fall because I'm held up by so many strong hands. I'm anxious to see how much growth and depth will occur as I stretch just a little bit further to reach my goals.

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