A Critique on Criticism

In my Bible study we discussed a passage on criticism written by Catherine Marshall.  You can read the post here.  Marshall decides that she will take a day to "fast" from criticalness.

I decided to try the experiment myself.  I didn't tell members of my family, but designated Saturday as a day free from criticism.  At the end of the day I felt pretty proud of myself because I succeeded.  Upon review of the day's activities, however, I realized that it wasn't much of a challenge.  Saturday was a day full of shopping.  I had money to spend and customer service people wanted to sell me items.  I was a satisfied shopper with no room for criticism.

I was raised in a household where nothing and no one was immune from criticism.  From the size of my feet to the expression on a television actress' face, all were fodder for critiques and jokes.

In college I finally realized that this wasn't a healthy way to live.  Adam helped me with that by asking questions that made me reflect on my actions.  He's always been gifted at making me see the world in a different light.  Once I realized that I was often in conversations that were critiques, I worked to stop it.

With this time of experiment this past weekend,  I was feeling pretty proud of myself.  During conversation in the car, Adam reminded me of silly, brainless, and admittedly hilarious remarks I've made that have become inside jokes around the house.  "But those jokes started years ago!  I've tried to avoid doing that."  Darn it if he didn't say one I came up with a couple of months ago.

I'm not perfect.  It's hard to shed a habit you were raised with. 

Monday was an especially difficult day for criticism.  I took the kids to the zoo and met a friend there.  I found myself criticizing a slew of things and people, including those "other moms" who wear those skin-tight running/yoga tights.  As soon as I said it, I realized how dumb I sounded.  Who cares what kind of pants people wear?  Seriously, do I have nothing better to do than to make fun of pants?

In Bible study we discussed where we find ourselves most critical.  One said that we often make critical remarks to fill a void in dialog.  Another said that we do that when we know that the person we're saying it to will agree.  I found both insights to be true.

This week I am going to try to be less critical of both myself and others.  If there's a void in dialog, I will attempt to be comfortable in silence.  I will strive to keep my unhelpful comments to myself.  I know brainless criticism doesn't help anyone.  Also, surprisingly, it is not my job to critique and fix the world.  I am not the Messiah.