A couple of years ago, my friend Rev. Jason Valendy shared something with me that I constantly run through my head.
We were packing food for hungry people and I was saddened that it didn't seem like enough. I wanted to run to the grocery store and spend all my money buying food for hungry poor people.
Jason said to me something one of his friends had told him.
"The good news is that there is a Messiah and He will save the world. The bad news is that it's not you."
That has constantly been difficult for me to learn. Not that I believe I am high and mighty, but that it's not my job to save everyone.
I'm the kind of person that sees a need and then does everything in her power to meet the need. If I meet you and you are hungry, it is my instinct to run into my house and give you food. If you need an ink pen, I will give you my last one. If I can help people in any way, I do.
That's not always the best thing for any of us, however, and that is a life lesson for me.
Last week I volunteered at Claire's school to prepare for the silent auction. As I was packing up the baskets, I was thinking, "If I had only known they needed, X, I would have bought it. I have some great things that could have gone in that basket. If this had been more organized, just think how great it could be. I should organize this." Fortunately before I said any of these things out loud, I reminded myself that it is not my job to save the world and that it was my job simply to pack the baskets with items available. I didn't have time to go shopping or scour my home looking for other additions. I did have time to pack baskets.
Several years ago, our family made friends with a family from another country. They are fascinating and I loved hearing their stories. They are also poor and had almost no food in their house. I decided that I would save them. I spent my own money and collected donations from the church to help them. The problem with that was that it altered our relationship. Instead of two friends on equal footing, we switched to a Giver and a Taker relationship. They started calling me with any need they had because they knew I would help them. I started avoiding their calls because I knew they were calling me to meet their needs and I couldn't do that all the time. The friendship eventually fizzled because of this.
When I'm teaching at school, I constantly have to remind myself of my job function. It is not my job to feed and clothe all 800 kids at my school. It is my job to listen to them and read with them.
When I'm at church, I have to remind myself of my job. It is not to fix the organization of every event or get volunteers every place they are needed. My job is to communicate the needs to others.
When I'm at home, it is not my job to jump into every sibling argument and provide explanation for both sides. It is my job to make sure the kids resolve their own conflicts and that they don't hurt themselves.
It is so hard for me not to try to fix the world, but I am not the Messiah. I can't do it.
Indeed. Have you read or thought about the idea of self differentiation? I find those tools and that language helpful when I am operating out of my own messiah complex. By the way, I love Paul in the banner picture.
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