We have a friend named Susan. She is 55 years old and she's always teaching us life lessons.
Susan is mentally challenged. She was cared for her entire life by her father, a friend of ours, who passed away recently. We were casual friends with Susan before, but have stepped in to help out since her father passed away. The result has been a beautiful friendship between her and our entire family.
The first time I was amazed at Susan was about a year before her father passed away. She had just gotten home from the hospital after surgery. We had never been to her house before and were amazed at the artwork on display there. Her favorite activity is coloring and the walls on both floors of her home were covered with framed color by number marker posters. Her father was as proud of them as he would have been owning a Monet.
A couple of weeks after her father's funeral we discovered Susan was staying at a home near our house. One of our ministers was driving across town to make sure she made it to church every Sunday, so we took over that job. Her favorite outfit to wear to church included a T-shirt emblazened with the words "Still Undefeated." It was in reference to a football team, but we found it appropriate for her situation, too.
Eventually she had to be moved to a full-time nursing center because of health problems. We were initially horrified at the center because she was roomed with a severely mentally unstable lady who was convinced everyone was out to hurt her. Adam and I cringed when we visited Susan because of her roommate and couldn't stand to think about Susan staying with her. Susan didn't mind. She introduced the crazy lady as her friend and shared her birthday presents. She gave her birthday cake, brand new crayons and even a small piece of jewelry. She has a new roommate now, and we love her.
Recently we were at the nursing home and were startled by a lady screaming. This particular lady is usually screaming when we come. Claire was scared of her, and I must admit being unsettled myself. When we picked up Susan Sunday to go to church, she stopped in front of the lady's room and called her by name. "Bye Diana!" she said, and the lady responded in kind, calling Susan by name in her yell-speak. I was afraid to be around the lady and Susan calls her a friend.
At church, Susan is anxious to receive communion. She nearly runs down the aisle, and I have seen her clap her hands and point to her palm in anticipation. I enjoy communion myself, but I have never run down the aisle or demanded my communion come faster. Maybe I should.
Yesterday we took Susan to dinner at Whataburger (one of her favorites) and she thanked us as well as each employee when we left. "Thank you. It was very good!" she told them all. I always tell fast-food people thank you when I receive my food, but I have never gone back to compliment them on their hard work. They weren't used to it, either, and were obviously impressed.
Susan always gives Claire or Paul her artwork from church. She attends class with Claire because they are on about the same level. She might have the intelligence of a three year old, but her wisdom is ageless.
Here's a place where Sarah writes what's on her heart and mind for whomever will read it. Sometimes it's hilarious, sometimes it's little pieces of life that I'm grateful for. Enjoy!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Games we play
Around the Boyette household, we have several games that we play daily. Here's a brief listing:
1. Boo! -- About a year ago, Claire got into a phase where she loved to shout "boo!" and "scare" people. Adam taught her to be polite when she does it, so she says, "Pardon me, boo!" We crack up every time. Adam says it's nice for her to say excuse me before she scares people half to death.
2. Whoo! -- Adam and his Uncle Gilbert have named each other animal names so they can feel tough and trash-talk using animal lingo. Adam is Spotted Owl and his uncle is the Horned Toad. (Don't ask, I don't know why those were chosen.) When Adam comes home from lunch everyday, he walks in as quietly as possible. Claire always hears the door creak, though. They tiptoe in a circle around the house until they find each other at which point, they yell "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! With a little razzmatazz!" Apparently that's what spotted owls say.
3. Meowwwwww! -- We have several children's CDs, but Claire's favorite contains a song about the "Three Little Kittens." The cats lost their mittens and they cry and I hate that song. We listen to it daily. The lady who sings it makes the cats sound like they are dying. When we sing along we try to make the most pathetic cat sounds you've ever heard. "Meoooooooooooooowww!" The winner is the one who makes the most awful sound. I've shared this song with Adam's mom and she's in on the game as well. She answers her phone with an awful meow sound. Adam's father has begged us to stop, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen any time soon.
4. Ow! -- Claire's favorite panties are "monkey panties" featuring Curious George. Adam is also almost always wearing an animal logo somewhere on his clothing. Every morning when Adam is getting ready for work, either she or he will point to the other's clothing. "Is that monkey/horse/dog/elephant on your shirt/shorts/panties/pants/boxers nice?" The reply is always, "Yes, that one is, but you have to watch out for this other one because he's mean." At which point the questioner bravely sticks out his/her hand toward the "mean" one and shouts "Ow! That monkey/horse/dog/elephant bit me!"
5. Love Pat -- Since we first started dating, Adam cannot pass behind me without smacking my behind. I don't even notice it anymore. Claire does, though, and asked Daddy why he was giving Mama "pankings." (She has problems remember initial 's' sounds, which makes interesting words like skunk without the 's.') Adam taught her the difference between a spanking and a "love pat." So now she'll run up behind Adam, me, or other friends and smack their bottom followed by a declaration, "That was a love pat!" When it's too hard, the victim argues, "No, that was a spanking!" I've had to explain Claire's actions a few times to friends whose bottoms she's slapped. She also likes to "burp" people, modeling what we do to Paul.
I've been told children love routines, and around this house, silliness is definitely the routine.
1. Boo! -- About a year ago, Claire got into a phase where she loved to shout "boo!" and "scare" people. Adam taught her to be polite when she does it, so she says, "Pardon me, boo!" We crack up every time. Adam says it's nice for her to say excuse me before she scares people half to death.
2. Whoo! -- Adam and his Uncle Gilbert have named each other animal names so they can feel tough and trash-talk using animal lingo. Adam is Spotted Owl and his uncle is the Horned Toad. (Don't ask, I don't know why those were chosen.) When Adam comes home from lunch everyday, he walks in as quietly as possible. Claire always hears the door creak, though. They tiptoe in a circle around the house until they find each other at which point, they yell "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! With a little razzmatazz!" Apparently that's what spotted owls say.
3. Meowwwwww! -- We have several children's CDs, but Claire's favorite contains a song about the "Three Little Kittens." The cats lost their mittens and they cry and I hate that song. We listen to it daily. The lady who sings it makes the cats sound like they are dying. When we sing along we try to make the most pathetic cat sounds you've ever heard. "Meoooooooooooooowww!" The winner is the one who makes the most awful sound. I've shared this song with Adam's mom and she's in on the game as well. She answers her phone with an awful meow sound. Adam's father has begged us to stop, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen any time soon.
4. Ow! -- Claire's favorite panties are "monkey panties" featuring Curious George. Adam is also almost always wearing an animal logo somewhere on his clothing. Every morning when Adam is getting ready for work, either she or he will point to the other's clothing. "Is that monkey/horse/dog/elephant on your shirt/shorts/panties/pants/boxers nice?" The reply is always, "Yes, that one is, but you have to watch out for this other one because he's mean." At which point the questioner bravely sticks out his/her hand toward the "mean" one and shouts "Ow! That monkey/horse/dog/elephant bit me!"
5. Love Pat -- Since we first started dating, Adam cannot pass behind me without smacking my behind. I don't even notice it anymore. Claire does, though, and asked Daddy why he was giving Mama "pankings." (She has problems remember initial 's' sounds, which makes interesting words like skunk without the 's.') Adam taught her the difference between a spanking and a "love pat." So now she'll run up behind Adam, me, or other friends and smack their bottom followed by a declaration, "That was a love pat!" When it's too hard, the victim argues, "No, that was a spanking!" I've had to explain Claire's actions a few times to friends whose bottoms she's slapped. She also likes to "burp" people, modeling what we do to Paul.
I've been told children love routines, and around this house, silliness is definitely the routine.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Messy Blessy
Our house is a mess. I have no excuses, but have to admit that our house is always a mess. Every time I set my mind to clean it, two little helpers come behind me and undo everything as I'm doing it.
If I'm sweeping, Claire gets a broom and "helps" me by sweeping my pile away. Paul sees a pile of food remains and goes to eat it. Wesley, our dog, comes up and sniffs it to make sure there's nothing he would want to eat.
When I pick up toys, either the kids suddenly remember they love that particular toy and need to play with it right now, or they are inspired to get out other toys to play with.
I run the dishwasher and handwash dishes daily, but my sink stays empty for approximately 15 minutes. It's always either snacktime or mealtime around here.
Then the laundry. Even if I do four or five loads in one day, the next morning, I have at least one load to do. I do laundry every day.
Recently, I was thinking about all my chores and how they never get done and how we have so much clutter in our house. Usually thoughts like this lead to depression and frustration, but that day, I took a different route. I became grateful.
I'm grateful for our clutter. Pictures of our beautiful children, stacked everywhere, notes from loved ones, coupons collected from friends and family to help us save money. Our clutter means that we are loved.
Toys all over the house represent the two happy, healthy children that live here. If I worked outside the home, the toys wouldn't be scattered so much, but only because the kids wouldn't have as much time to play with them. I'm grateful they get full use of all their toys, even if it is all at once.
Our house is furnished almost entirely with gifts, from the couch to the dishes, so I decided that now, when I see a pile of dirty dishes, or laundry on the couch, I'm going to be thankful for our friends that gave us the dishes and couch. I'm also going to be thankful for the food that was served on those dishes.
It is frustrating when you feel like you just stepped on the 100th Cheerio of the day. And just now I tripped over Claire's shopping cart, which is loaded with every canned good she can steal from my pantry. But I'm trying to think gratefully. I'm trying to think, as I sweep up Cheerios and pick up toys, that I'm thankful. Many families don't even have junk. They don't even have Cheerios, much less toys cluttering up their house. All this messiness just shows how blessed we are.
If I'm sweeping, Claire gets a broom and "helps" me by sweeping my pile away. Paul sees a pile of food remains and goes to eat it. Wesley, our dog, comes up and sniffs it to make sure there's nothing he would want to eat.
When I pick up toys, either the kids suddenly remember they love that particular toy and need to play with it right now, or they are inspired to get out other toys to play with.
I run the dishwasher and handwash dishes daily, but my sink stays empty for approximately 15 minutes. It's always either snacktime or mealtime around here.
Then the laundry. Even if I do four or five loads in one day, the next morning, I have at least one load to do. I do laundry every day.
Recently, I was thinking about all my chores and how they never get done and how we have so much clutter in our house. Usually thoughts like this lead to depression and frustration, but that day, I took a different route. I became grateful.
I'm grateful for our clutter. Pictures of our beautiful children, stacked everywhere, notes from loved ones, coupons collected from friends and family to help us save money. Our clutter means that we are loved.
Toys all over the house represent the two happy, healthy children that live here. If I worked outside the home, the toys wouldn't be scattered so much, but only because the kids wouldn't have as much time to play with them. I'm grateful they get full use of all their toys, even if it is all at once.
Our house is furnished almost entirely with gifts, from the couch to the dishes, so I decided that now, when I see a pile of dirty dishes, or laundry on the couch, I'm going to be thankful for our friends that gave us the dishes and couch. I'm also going to be thankful for the food that was served on those dishes.
It is frustrating when you feel like you just stepped on the 100th Cheerio of the day. And just now I tripped over Claire's shopping cart, which is loaded with every canned good she can steal from my pantry. But I'm trying to think gratefully. I'm trying to think, as I sweep up Cheerios and pick up toys, that I'm thankful. Many families don't even have junk. They don't even have Cheerios, much less toys cluttering up their house. All this messiness just shows how blessed we are.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Finding it at home
Yesterday Paul and I were up early and snuck out of the house while everyone else was asleep. We went on a walk in search of an estate sale my friend Stacy alerted us to. I walked and sweated, pushing Paul in the stroller. It's even sweltering in the mornings now. I walked and I walked and I walked. I walked the entire street the sale was supposed to be on but couldn't find it. I don't need anything, but you never know what you'll find at an estate sale. I love buying things that make me laugh.
So I was hot and frustrated when we turned back home. Then I realized there was a garage sale on our street, just a few doors down. I walked there and found several funny magnets and flashcards and toys for Claire. Quite a good haul, I thought. And then I was thinking, isn't that the way life is? You do all that searching and working to find whatever it is you're looking for and it's always at home.
This happens to me often. Last fall I was going through a period of depression/transition to stay-at-home-momness and Adam told me I needed a new friend. I got online and joined the moms group at the local Baptist church. I strategically reached out to several people, trying to kindle the kind of friendship I was looking for and came back empty-handed. I went to several moms' group events and introduced myself to everyone in attendance. Nothing.
Then at my church one day I was talking to a casual friend. I knew her family lived near us, but we'd never gotten together. We made a date to do it, and the rest is history. We talk almost every day and often work out.
It's just so funny to me, and I think it's God. I will empower myself to search for whatever I want, whether it's an estate sale or a friend. I'll go out of my way, walk a long distance, introduce myself to strangers, make myself uncomfortable and then when I'm done, I find "it" right here at home.
My parents live far away and our relationship is full of problems, but I've found plenty of adopted moms here at my home church and neighborhood. I wanted Claire to make friends to socialize with and did some research on playgroups, but found the perfect playmates here, already around us. Even in high school, I had lofty ambitions to attend a far-away school, but found the perfect ones here, where I've lived all my life. I also dated several boys, long-distance and local and found the best one here. Adam and I had been friends for several years before either of us had any inkling we might work out as a couple. We both have lived in Tarrant County our entire lives.
I look back on my life thus far and can name countless instances when I was looking for something and found it right back where I came from. Whatever I need is always here at home. I just have to open my eyes to see it.
So I was hot and frustrated when we turned back home. Then I realized there was a garage sale on our street, just a few doors down. I walked there and found several funny magnets and flashcards and toys for Claire. Quite a good haul, I thought. And then I was thinking, isn't that the way life is? You do all that searching and working to find whatever it is you're looking for and it's always at home.
This happens to me often. Last fall I was going through a period of depression/transition to stay-at-home-momness and Adam told me I needed a new friend. I got online and joined the moms group at the local Baptist church. I strategically reached out to several people, trying to kindle the kind of friendship I was looking for and came back empty-handed. I went to several moms' group events and introduced myself to everyone in attendance. Nothing.
Then at my church one day I was talking to a casual friend. I knew her family lived near us, but we'd never gotten together. We made a date to do it, and the rest is history. We talk almost every day and often work out.
It's just so funny to me, and I think it's God. I will empower myself to search for whatever I want, whether it's an estate sale or a friend. I'll go out of my way, walk a long distance, introduce myself to strangers, make myself uncomfortable and then when I'm done, I find "it" right here at home.
My parents live far away and our relationship is full of problems, but I've found plenty of adopted moms here at my home church and neighborhood. I wanted Claire to make friends to socialize with and did some research on playgroups, but found the perfect playmates here, already around us. Even in high school, I had lofty ambitions to attend a far-away school, but found the perfect ones here, where I've lived all my life. I also dated several boys, long-distance and local and found the best one here. Adam and I had been friends for several years before either of us had any inkling we might work out as a couple. We both have lived in Tarrant County our entire lives.
I look back on my life thus far and can name countless instances when I was looking for something and found it right back where I came from. Whatever I need is always here at home. I just have to open my eyes to see it.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
This Week
We've been very busy the past seven days. Friday afternoon, Adam loaded our truck Clampett-style and we went camping in San Marcos.
.JPG)
We went with a group from our church and we all had a fun, with the exception of Wesley Eugene. He was the only dog in the group, so he got constant attention. He's not fond of children to begin with, so this was a weekend of torture for him. Luckily he didn't snap or bite any of them.
Claire learned to use a port-a-potty. The first time she sat down on it she said, "Hmmm...This is interesting."
.JPG)
We all went tubing down the river, even Claire and Paul. The water was calm enough for even the littlest Boyette to enjoy it. Claire even took a nap while tubing with Adam.
.JPG)
Sunday we headed back home.
Monday morning, I took Claire and Paul to the zoo, for the special "Members Only" activities. Claire got to get up close and personal with a flamingo.
.JPG)
Tuesday morning, I took the kids to see Kung Fu Panda. It was a free showing, so I didn't feel bad taking a baby to a movie theater. We went with our friends, Alli, Emerson, and Declan, and Alli and I later kicked ourselves for that. Emerson and Claire might as well be sisters. They fight all the time and feed off of each other. About 20 minutes into the movie, Claire needed to go potty. As soon as we got back, Emerson needed to go.
About that time, a family arrived late and sat directly behind us. Our noses told us that. If you've ever been to the Fort Worth Zoo, you know it has a very distinctive smell, a mix of animal poop and stagnant water. Sometimes (and this has happened to me) you leave the zoo smelling like it. It's pretty bad.
So immediately when this family sat behind us, Alli and I looked to each other and verified it wasn't our kids smelling like that. I kept sniffing Paul to make sure he didn't have a dirty diaper. I guess that family had smelled like that all day and didn't notice it. (This has also happened to me, but the Adam has been gracious enough to let me know.)
At one point in the movie, the smell got a lot worse. The boy apparently pooped in the seat because soon after the smell worsened, he ran down the steps with a package of wipes in his hand. The rest of the family left soon after, and the smell remained. Apparently he pooped on the chair.
Alli and I had been very stressed out about our kids during the whole movie. Claire wouldn't sit down, Paul tried to crawl around the theater, Alli's kids were restless as well. But when the kid behind us, who had to be seven or eight, pooped in the seat, it made me grateful. It could always be worse. I could be fleeing from a darkened theater where my kid just pooped on the seat.
Tuesday night, Adam and I went on a hot date to see Twelfth Night at TCU. Wednesday we went to the library twice, once for story time and once to see clowns. We also had a pool playdate.
Last night, after all her friends had left, Claire asked me, "Do people have tails between their legs right here?" She made a gesture toward her privates. "No, silly," I said. "Why do you ask?" "Because Gabe and Paul do." Apparently Claire had walked in on her friend Gabe using the restroom, and she sees Paul naked all the time.
Claire is definitely getting to the questioning stage. She also asked me recently if Paul had peanuts. She definitely needs the information, but I'm not ready to give it to her, so I blew her off with "That's just their bottoms. They're boys, so it's a little bit different."
Claire's pretty smart, so I don't know how long my vague explanations of body parts will last. I want to teach her all the correct words, but I don't want her to shout at the library that boys have penises. (Yesterday, she yelled, "That boy is sooo black!" I don't even know where she got that, because I never talk about that.) I'm going to have to wait until she has developed a little discretion. Of course, that might be a mistake, too, because I know I am not her only source of information. Parenting is hard work.
.JPG)
We went with a group from our church and we all had a fun, with the exception of Wesley Eugene. He was the only dog in the group, so he got constant attention. He's not fond of children to begin with, so this was a weekend of torture for him. Luckily he didn't snap or bite any of them.
Claire learned to use a port-a-potty. The first time she sat down on it she said, "Hmmm...This is interesting."
.JPG)
We all went tubing down the river, even Claire and Paul. The water was calm enough for even the littlest Boyette to enjoy it. Claire even took a nap while tubing with Adam.
.JPG)
Sunday we headed back home.
Monday morning, I took Claire and Paul to the zoo, for the special "Members Only" activities. Claire got to get up close and personal with a flamingo.
.JPG)
Tuesday morning, I took the kids to see Kung Fu Panda. It was a free showing, so I didn't feel bad taking a baby to a movie theater. We went with our friends, Alli, Emerson, and Declan, and Alli and I later kicked ourselves for that. Emerson and Claire might as well be sisters. They fight all the time and feed off of each other. About 20 minutes into the movie, Claire needed to go potty. As soon as we got back, Emerson needed to go.
About that time, a family arrived late and sat directly behind us. Our noses told us that. If you've ever been to the Fort Worth Zoo, you know it has a very distinctive smell, a mix of animal poop and stagnant water. Sometimes (and this has happened to me) you leave the zoo smelling like it. It's pretty bad.
So immediately when this family sat behind us, Alli and I looked to each other and verified it wasn't our kids smelling like that. I kept sniffing Paul to make sure he didn't have a dirty diaper. I guess that family had smelled like that all day and didn't notice it. (This has also happened to me, but the Adam has been gracious enough to let me know.)
At one point in the movie, the smell got a lot worse. The boy apparently pooped in the seat because soon after the smell worsened, he ran down the steps with a package of wipes in his hand. The rest of the family left soon after, and the smell remained. Apparently he pooped on the chair.
Alli and I had been very stressed out about our kids during the whole movie. Claire wouldn't sit down, Paul tried to crawl around the theater, Alli's kids were restless as well. But when the kid behind us, who had to be seven or eight, pooped in the seat, it made me grateful. It could always be worse. I could be fleeing from a darkened theater where my kid just pooped on the seat.
Tuesday night, Adam and I went on a hot date to see Twelfth Night at TCU. Wednesday we went to the library twice, once for story time and once to see clowns. We also had a pool playdate.
Last night, after all her friends had left, Claire asked me, "Do people have tails between their legs right here?" She made a gesture toward her privates. "No, silly," I said. "Why do you ask?" "Because Gabe and Paul do." Apparently Claire had walked in on her friend Gabe using the restroom, and she sees Paul naked all the time.
Claire is definitely getting to the questioning stage. She also asked me recently if Paul had peanuts. She definitely needs the information, but I'm not ready to give it to her, so I blew her off with "That's just their bottoms. They're boys, so it's a little bit different."
Claire's pretty smart, so I don't know how long my vague explanations of body parts will last. I want to teach her all the correct words, but I don't want her to shout at the library that boys have penises. (Yesterday, she yelled, "That boy is sooo black!" I don't even know where she got that, because I never talk about that.) I'm going to have to wait until she has developed a little discretion. Of course, that might be a mistake, too, because I know I am not her only source of information. Parenting is hard work.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Visiting Mi
Today we went to visit my granddad on my father's side. We call him "Mi." He's been depressed since my grandmother died two years ago, so since I've quit working, we go spend the day with him every other Thursday. Somedays we help, somedays we visit, but today I think we just stressed out.
I should have gotten the kids back in the car and went home at the first sign of trouble. Within five minutes of arriving, Paul had dissected Mi's spittoon, and had used tobacco leaves on the corners of his mouth and in between his fingers. That was just a sign of more to come.
We spent an hour of searching my grandmother's recipes for the perfect meatloaf recipe. My grandfather is 83 and has failing eyesight. About a year ago he started wearing my grandmother's old glasses, but today even those weren't strong enough. He put on magnifying safety goggles to look through cookbooks.
While I was helping him, the kids were going crazy, getting into everything from the trash can to the DVD collection. After it became apparent the meatloaf recipe was like searching for Atlantis, I decided to make lunch. I usually discuss the menu with Mi, but today I decided to surprise him and make okra. We both love okra, and he has a freezer full of it, but rarely makes it because he's the only one there.
I turned on his ventahood but was unaware there was not an outlet for the smoke. The smoke detector went off, I laughed, explained, and went back to cooking. Then the Life Alert smoke detector went off. The house was vibrating with the alarm and a lady started shouting at us through the security panel. "Mr Baker! Mr. Baker! Are you okay? Are you okay?" Mr. Baker replied with a "I can't shut this damn alarm off. I can't hear you because this is too damn loud!" I eventually punched in his code and hung up on the lady.
Then the phone started ringing. The security company wanted to make sure he was okay. At this point I had also dissected the smoke alarm on the wall. My granddad came in to intervene on the cooking and told me to open the screen door. On her last visit, my mom accidentally broke the brackets to hold up the glass on the screen, so I had to open the door all the way. Claire started laughing and screaming that Paul was going to go on a walk in the street. He escaped out the front door at least five times before I was able to assemble the pack 'n' play and barricade him in.
Danger averted from lunch, we sat down and ate. Afterward, it was nap time. Mi has fond memories of kids sleeping in cribs in his house, so I try to always bring the pack 'n' play for Paul. This is the only place we use it, so Paul feels like he's in prison. He screamed for at least 20 minutes before I gave up and got him. I tried to lay him down with Claire and me on a pallet in the living room, but that was a struggle. He calmed down and then Claire announced that her and Curious George needed to go potty. They were gone for about 20 minutes, and then she came back with some mail and said it was hers. Then my granddad appeared and asked if we had a good nap. Nap? What's that?
I had just gotten Paul to sleep and then he saw Mi. He started jumping up and down, flapping his arms. No more nap for him. It was about 3 p.m. at this point, so I wrapped up the recipe conversation, offered to make the perfect meatloaf next time I come, and started cleaning. I guided Claire on picking up her toys and meanwhile, Paul was stringing stuff out. I picked up his mess, and then she had gotten out more books. I went in circles, and at 4 p.m., I finally caught up with both of them.
Claire went potty and then I followed. I always leave the toilet lid up after I'm done because it's so hard for my granddad to bend down. At our house, the lids stay down. Paul knows that and seized his unique opportunity. He crawled to the toilet as fast as he could and started splashing water. I picked him up, washed him off, and didn't set him down again in the house. I managed to get the kids to hug my granddad and get out of there without any more crises.
I was feeling bad because we had turned his normal, quiet house upside down, but when I hugged Mi bye, he told me, "I love you, Doll." I guess everything will be okay.
I should have gotten the kids back in the car and went home at the first sign of trouble. Within five minutes of arriving, Paul had dissected Mi's spittoon, and had used tobacco leaves on the corners of his mouth and in between his fingers. That was just a sign of more to come.
We spent an hour of searching my grandmother's recipes for the perfect meatloaf recipe. My grandfather is 83 and has failing eyesight. About a year ago he started wearing my grandmother's old glasses, but today even those weren't strong enough. He put on magnifying safety goggles to look through cookbooks.
While I was helping him, the kids were going crazy, getting into everything from the trash can to the DVD collection. After it became apparent the meatloaf recipe was like searching for Atlantis, I decided to make lunch. I usually discuss the menu with Mi, but today I decided to surprise him and make okra. We both love okra, and he has a freezer full of it, but rarely makes it because he's the only one there.
I turned on his ventahood but was unaware there was not an outlet for the smoke. The smoke detector went off, I laughed, explained, and went back to cooking. Then the Life Alert smoke detector went off. The house was vibrating with the alarm and a lady started shouting at us through the security panel. "Mr Baker! Mr. Baker! Are you okay? Are you okay?" Mr. Baker replied with a "I can't shut this damn alarm off. I can't hear you because this is too damn loud!" I eventually punched in his code and hung up on the lady.
Then the phone started ringing. The security company wanted to make sure he was okay. At this point I had also dissected the smoke alarm on the wall. My granddad came in to intervene on the cooking and told me to open the screen door. On her last visit, my mom accidentally broke the brackets to hold up the glass on the screen, so I had to open the door all the way. Claire started laughing and screaming that Paul was going to go on a walk in the street. He escaped out the front door at least five times before I was able to assemble the pack 'n' play and barricade him in.
Danger averted from lunch, we sat down and ate. Afterward, it was nap time. Mi has fond memories of kids sleeping in cribs in his house, so I try to always bring the pack 'n' play for Paul. This is the only place we use it, so Paul feels like he's in prison. He screamed for at least 20 minutes before I gave up and got him. I tried to lay him down with Claire and me on a pallet in the living room, but that was a struggle. He calmed down and then Claire announced that her and Curious George needed to go potty. They were gone for about 20 minutes, and then she came back with some mail and said it was hers. Then my granddad appeared and asked if we had a good nap. Nap? What's that?
I had just gotten Paul to sleep and then he saw Mi. He started jumping up and down, flapping his arms. No more nap for him. It was about 3 p.m. at this point, so I wrapped up the recipe conversation, offered to make the perfect meatloaf next time I come, and started cleaning. I guided Claire on picking up her toys and meanwhile, Paul was stringing stuff out. I picked up his mess, and then she had gotten out more books. I went in circles, and at 4 p.m., I finally caught up with both of them.
Claire went potty and then I followed. I always leave the toilet lid up after I'm done because it's so hard for my granddad to bend down. At our house, the lids stay down. Paul knows that and seized his unique opportunity. He crawled to the toilet as fast as he could and started splashing water. I picked him up, washed him off, and didn't set him down again in the house. I managed to get the kids to hug my granddad and get out of there without any more crises.
I was feeling bad because we had turned his normal, quiet house upside down, but when I hugged Mi bye, he told me, "I love you, Doll." I guess everything will be okay.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Eat your vegetables!
Adam did not grow up eating vegetables. His mother has told me several times that he only would eat macaroni and cheese, pizza, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when he was growing up.
I did not grow up watching football. My dad said he didn't like watching grown men play a child's game. He and my mother hated the Dallas Cowboys and like a good daughter, I followed suit.
Early in our relationship, Adam and I realized we had a problem. He hated foods that I loved and couldn't live without and I hated football, which he loved and couldn't live without. We made a deal, and it stands to this day. I watch football and he eats whatever I cook. After eight years of marriage, it's still working well.
There are several parts of my life that I liken to eating vegetables. You might not like it the first time, or the second time, but by the third or fourth time, you actually enjoy it and are getting something out of it.
I eat vegetables with my reading habits. I love to read fiction, but I rotate between a fiction book and a book that edifies my person, either spiritually or intellectually. Switching off between novels for entertainment and books for education has broadened my horizons. I've found I actually enjoy some non-fiction books.
I also eat vegetables with good deeds. Sometimes I don't feel like taking groceries to by elderly friend, but after I do it, I feel better. I'm constantly making myself go the extra mile in the good deed category. Sometimes I want to and sometimes I just make myself, but almost all the time I'm glad I did.
It's not always rewarding. A recent visit to help my grandfather was frustrating and stressful. (Six remote controls and technical difficulties, plus two kids climbing in my lap crying.) But it's the right thing to do.
I think we were put on Earth to make the world a better place; to help and love each other, so even if I don't want to, I do it. Adam is the same way. I remember driving back from a road trip to Las Vegas. We were already late, but Adam, sick and exhausted, pulled over to change a lady's tire. She was amazed a stranger would do that for her.
Maybe we're getting stars on some celestial chart, but that's not why we do it. We do it because eating your vegetables is good for you.
I did not grow up watching football. My dad said he didn't like watching grown men play a child's game. He and my mother hated the Dallas Cowboys and like a good daughter, I followed suit.
Early in our relationship, Adam and I realized we had a problem. He hated foods that I loved and couldn't live without and I hated football, which he loved and couldn't live without. We made a deal, and it stands to this day. I watch football and he eats whatever I cook. After eight years of marriage, it's still working well.
There are several parts of my life that I liken to eating vegetables. You might not like it the first time, or the second time, but by the third or fourth time, you actually enjoy it and are getting something out of it.
I eat vegetables with my reading habits. I love to read fiction, but I rotate between a fiction book and a book that edifies my person, either spiritually or intellectually. Switching off between novels for entertainment and books for education has broadened my horizons. I've found I actually enjoy some non-fiction books.
I also eat vegetables with good deeds. Sometimes I don't feel like taking groceries to by elderly friend, but after I do it, I feel better. I'm constantly making myself go the extra mile in the good deed category. Sometimes I want to and sometimes I just make myself, but almost all the time I'm glad I did.
It's not always rewarding. A recent visit to help my grandfather was frustrating and stressful. (Six remote controls and technical difficulties, plus two kids climbing in my lap crying.) But it's the right thing to do.
I think we were put on Earth to make the world a better place; to help and love each other, so even if I don't want to, I do it. Adam is the same way. I remember driving back from a road trip to Las Vegas. We were already late, but Adam, sick and exhausted, pulled over to change a lady's tire. She was amazed a stranger would do that for her.
Maybe we're getting stars on some celestial chart, but that's not why we do it. We do it because eating your vegetables is good for you.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Kleptomaniac
I am about to confess something that will make you think less of me. My son, 11 months old, is already a kleptomaniac.
I discovered this a couple of days ago when we went to Kroger. Adam was at an engineering meeting and the kids and I went to get some broccoli and a few bake mixes. Claire's birthday was yesterday and I wanted to bake her the muffins and cookies of her choosing and broccoli to balance it all out.
It was a fairly short trip to the grocery store. It was also fairly low maintenance. No trips to the bathroom, no time-outs in the grocery cart, not much begging for unnecessary items.
I put all my groceries on the register, keeping one eye on Claire because she kept grabbing candy bars and offering them to other people in line. She didn't quite understand why the lady behind us didn't want to eat the Hershey bar she was trying to give her.
So one eye on Claire, one eye on the register, pen in hand writing a check. We checked out, I sighed with relief and we started walking out. Then I saw it.
Paul was hugging a package of cookie mix. I hadn't paid for it.
And this is where my crisis of conscience comes in. I had a debate in my head. Do I go back to the register, apologize and pay for the $2 mix? Do I use this as a lesson on honesty? Or do I pretend I didn't notice and keep on walking out the door with unpaid merchandise?
Claire is now three, old enough to be learning lessons like this. She could have benefitted from her mother's act of honesty. Instead, her mother was dishonest and kept on walking. I could list a thousand excuses for why I didn't go back and pay for the cookies, but the real reason is that I didn't want to.
And as a kick in the seat of my pants, I swear to you I have never seen a rent-a-cop at Kroger, but there was one right outside the door when we left. At first I was scared we were going to be arrested, but then I realized I still could go back and pay for the cookies. I didn't.
Right and wrong is often not black and white. My life has a lot of gray in it. I believe it's important to model good choices for my children, especially when it would have been so easy to go back and pay. Hopefully my kids will pick up on all my good deeds and not remember this one. Or they could be headed toward a life of crime, which could have been avoided for $2 plus tax.
I discovered this a couple of days ago when we went to Kroger. Adam was at an engineering meeting and the kids and I went to get some broccoli and a few bake mixes. Claire's birthday was yesterday and I wanted to bake her the muffins and cookies of her choosing and broccoli to balance it all out.
It was a fairly short trip to the grocery store. It was also fairly low maintenance. No trips to the bathroom, no time-outs in the grocery cart, not much begging for unnecessary items.
I put all my groceries on the register, keeping one eye on Claire because she kept grabbing candy bars and offering them to other people in line. She didn't quite understand why the lady behind us didn't want to eat the Hershey bar she was trying to give her.
So one eye on Claire, one eye on the register, pen in hand writing a check. We checked out, I sighed with relief and we started walking out. Then I saw it.
Paul was hugging a package of cookie mix. I hadn't paid for it.
And this is where my crisis of conscience comes in. I had a debate in my head. Do I go back to the register, apologize and pay for the $2 mix? Do I use this as a lesson on honesty? Or do I pretend I didn't notice and keep on walking out the door with unpaid merchandise?
Claire is now three, old enough to be learning lessons like this. She could have benefitted from her mother's act of honesty. Instead, her mother was dishonest and kept on walking. I could list a thousand excuses for why I didn't go back and pay for the cookies, but the real reason is that I didn't want to.
And as a kick in the seat of my pants, I swear to you I have never seen a rent-a-cop at Kroger, but there was one right outside the door when we left. At first I was scared we were going to be arrested, but then I realized I still could go back and pay for the cookies. I didn't.
Right and wrong is often not black and white. My life has a lot of gray in it. I believe it's important to model good choices for my children, especially when it would have been so easy to go back and pay. Hopefully my kids will pick up on all my good deeds and not remember this one. Or they could be headed toward a life of crime, which could have been avoided for $2 plus tax.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Pace Car
Though I was born in the South and am white, I am not a NASCAR fan. Adam and I have been to a couple of races at the Texas Motor Speedway, but that was only because we got free tickets in the mail from Marlboro. (We posed as smokers one night at a concert. Didn't have to actually smoke, just say that we did, and boom, we get all sorts of gifts in the mail from them.)
Before the race starts, they have a few warm-up laps, where the drivers drive around the speedway behind a pace car. They're not allowed to pass up the pace car. There are reasons for that.
As I've gotten older, my driving has slowed down. Don't get me wrong; I have a history of wild driving, and the driving record to prove it. Adam thinks I drive like an old lady now. Somedays, though, the temperature is just right, the windows are down, and I'm rocking out and hitting the gas. I'll be zooming along and then have to slam on my breaks because some jerk in front of me is actually going the speed limit. After I hit the brakes and take a deep breath, I usually see a police officer on the side of the road. Then I thank God for putting the pace car in front of me and saving me from a ticket or a wreck.
I think God often puts pace cars in front of me to slow me down. Sometimes my pace car is one of my elderly friends. I'll go over to Jo's house, and time will stand still. Sometimes it's one of my children, who bring a toy to me and remind me that there are more important activities than housework. Sometimes it's a stranger who offers a small act of kindness when I'm struggling.
Even as a stay-at-home mom, my life runs a break-neck speeds. I am grateful when I am forced to slow down and appreciate life. Pace cars are blessings.
Before the race starts, they have a few warm-up laps, where the drivers drive around the speedway behind a pace car. They're not allowed to pass up the pace car. There are reasons for that.
As I've gotten older, my driving has slowed down. Don't get me wrong; I have a history of wild driving, and the driving record to prove it. Adam thinks I drive like an old lady now. Somedays, though, the temperature is just right, the windows are down, and I'm rocking out and hitting the gas. I'll be zooming along and then have to slam on my breaks because some jerk in front of me is actually going the speed limit. After I hit the brakes and take a deep breath, I usually see a police officer on the side of the road. Then I thank God for putting the pace car in front of me and saving me from a ticket or a wreck.
I think God often puts pace cars in front of me to slow me down. Sometimes my pace car is one of my elderly friends. I'll go over to Jo's house, and time will stand still. Sometimes it's one of my children, who bring a toy to me and remind me that there are more important activities than housework. Sometimes it's a stranger who offers a small act of kindness when I'm struggling.
Even as a stay-at-home mom, my life runs a break-neck speeds. I am grateful when I am forced to slow down and appreciate life. Pace cars are blessings.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
A Primer on Grocery Shopping
When I was a kid, my grandma would send us little envelopes in the mail. Sometimes she wouldn't send them, she'd just hand them to my mom when we visited. Malcolm Gladwell, author of The Tipping Point, would have called her a coupon maven. She was always on the lookout for good coupons and would remember what products our family used so she could send us the coordinating coupons. Sometimes the coupons came in your birthday card, which always made us roll our eyes. What everyone wants for their birthday is coupons!
Every Sunday afternoon growing up, my parents had a debate. We'd just finished service at the Baptist church and they couldn't decide if they wanted a nap first or eat lunch first. We rotated, but one thing we didn't rotate on was the activities afterward. Everyone sat on the couch and went through the Sunday paper. My dad would read the news, and my mom, sister, and I would go through the salespapers and cut coupons. I remember getting tired of the activity as I got older and I started to rebel. I stopped cutting the edges off the coupons, leaving a white border. I was hard core.
My mom taught me math by helping me to calculating discounts off the clothes we bought. We bought everything on sale, and when we took our outfits up to the register, we knew what to expect from the 50% off sale.
When I was in college, I often went grocery shopping with my grandma. She taught me new tips on shopping, like how to pick a cashier. She usually chose men who looked kind of dumb. They didn't check her expiration dates on her coupons and she could save more money. She taught me how to slip an expired coupon in with all your regular coupons. She taught me the rules of coupon doubling and tripling. I remember her beaming from ear to ear when I would check out and only owe $20.
Some of Grandma's tips don't work any more. I tend to chose the smarter-looking cashiers now because they will override the register if the coupon doesn't ring up. I'm always careful to buy exactly what the coupons tells me to, but sometimes the register still beeps. If the cashier isn't very smart, they get confused and call the manager. You can't use expired coupons any more, either. The computers eliminated that.
As a stay-at-home mom, a large part of my time is spent getting ready for the grocery store. I have a team of shoppers that help me, too. My grandfather and my blind friend, Jo, both save their Sunday coupons for me. My grandfather goes through and picks the right set of coupons for me. Jo, who I suspect subscribes to the paper solely for the obituaries, throws anything that looks couponish into a bag for me. I appreciate both of them because I can often buy multiple items and have a coupon for each one.
My mother-in-law, Sarita, is in on the game, too. She usually calls me on Sunday afternoon to alert me to good coupons in the paper that week. When I was working I was always a week or two behind on my clipping, and sometimes missed good ones. Sarita clips all the coupons she needs and then saves the rest in a bag for me. I have a special coupon drawer for her at our house. Every time we see each other, we trade sacks of coupons.
This last year, with the loss of my paycheck, it has become even more important for me to save money on the grocery bill. I've started studying the grocery store ads, and now "grocery hop" to different stores for different products. On a typical shopping day, we might go to five different stores for groceries. This is no small task for a single adult, but when you add two small children, it nearly drives me to the insane asylum. I can tell you where the bathroom is in any grocery store on my side of Fort Worth. I don't know if she really needs it or if she gets entertained frustrating her mom, but Claire can use the potty four times in one grocery store.
I do not bribe my children to behave in the store, but I do feed them. If I buy deli meat, I always make sure to get a sample for Claire and Paul. At Tom Thumb, they allow each child to have an apple, banana, orange, or balloon for free. If they're eating, they are happy.
Here's a few time-tested tips from me, a third generation grocery store maven:
1. Albertson's, Kroger, and Tom Thumb triple the face value of a coupon up to 39 cents. They double it up to 50 cents. Beyond that it is face value only.
2. At Walmart, coupons are worth their face value only. I do find Walmart grocery stores to have cheaper prices if you are not using a coupon, but I've done the math. If you are using coupons, traditional grocery stores are better.
3. Tom Thumb is more expensive on certain items, but if I'm depressed and need good customer service, I go there.
4. Albertson's is cheapest on meat. They have ridiculous sales where you can buy one package of steaks and get two free. You would think it would be bad meat, but it's delicious! Watch their salepaper for the coupons.
5. If you forgot your store-specific coupons at your house, go to customer service. They keep them behind the counter.
6. Sales start every Wednesday, but sometimes they have weekend-only deals.
7. On Hulen Street in Fort Worth, at Tom Thumb, the bathroom is in the pharmacy. At Albertson's, it's in produce. At Kroger, it's in the meat department.
It's a lot of work, but it's worth it. Last week I spent $89 for two weeks worth of groceries. I love looking at my receipt at the end. I usually save about 25 percent with coupons and sales. Sometimes I get into big money and save up to 30 percent or more.
My grandma doesn't cut coupons as much anymore. She finds it to be too much work for just her and my grandpa. Every time I see her, she is proud to hear my war stories from the grocery store. It's a battle against manufacturer's profit, and they don't make a lot from me. I'm a war veteran.
Every Sunday afternoon growing up, my parents had a debate. We'd just finished service at the Baptist church and they couldn't decide if they wanted a nap first or eat lunch first. We rotated, but one thing we didn't rotate on was the activities afterward. Everyone sat on the couch and went through the Sunday paper. My dad would read the news, and my mom, sister, and I would go through the salespapers and cut coupons. I remember getting tired of the activity as I got older and I started to rebel. I stopped cutting the edges off the coupons, leaving a white border. I was hard core.
My mom taught me math by helping me to calculating discounts off the clothes we bought. We bought everything on sale, and when we took our outfits up to the register, we knew what to expect from the 50% off sale.
When I was in college, I often went grocery shopping with my grandma. She taught me new tips on shopping, like how to pick a cashier. She usually chose men who looked kind of dumb. They didn't check her expiration dates on her coupons and she could save more money. She taught me how to slip an expired coupon in with all your regular coupons. She taught me the rules of coupon doubling and tripling. I remember her beaming from ear to ear when I would check out and only owe $20.
Some of Grandma's tips don't work any more. I tend to chose the smarter-looking cashiers now because they will override the register if the coupon doesn't ring up. I'm always careful to buy exactly what the coupons tells me to, but sometimes the register still beeps. If the cashier isn't very smart, they get confused and call the manager. You can't use expired coupons any more, either. The computers eliminated that.
As a stay-at-home mom, a large part of my time is spent getting ready for the grocery store. I have a team of shoppers that help me, too. My grandfather and my blind friend, Jo, both save their Sunday coupons for me. My grandfather goes through and picks the right set of coupons for me. Jo, who I suspect subscribes to the paper solely for the obituaries, throws anything that looks couponish into a bag for me. I appreciate both of them because I can often buy multiple items and have a coupon for each one.
My mother-in-law, Sarita, is in on the game, too. She usually calls me on Sunday afternoon to alert me to good coupons in the paper that week. When I was working I was always a week or two behind on my clipping, and sometimes missed good ones. Sarita clips all the coupons she needs and then saves the rest in a bag for me. I have a special coupon drawer for her at our house. Every time we see each other, we trade sacks of coupons.
This last year, with the loss of my paycheck, it has become even more important for me to save money on the grocery bill. I've started studying the grocery store ads, and now "grocery hop" to different stores for different products. On a typical shopping day, we might go to five different stores for groceries. This is no small task for a single adult, but when you add two small children, it nearly drives me to the insane asylum. I can tell you where the bathroom is in any grocery store on my side of Fort Worth. I don't know if she really needs it or if she gets entertained frustrating her mom, but Claire can use the potty four times in one grocery store.
I do not bribe my children to behave in the store, but I do feed them. If I buy deli meat, I always make sure to get a sample for Claire and Paul. At Tom Thumb, they allow each child to have an apple, banana, orange, or balloon for free. If they're eating, they are happy.
Here's a few time-tested tips from me, a third generation grocery store maven:
1. Albertson's, Kroger, and Tom Thumb triple the face value of a coupon up to 39 cents. They double it up to 50 cents. Beyond that it is face value only.
2. At Walmart, coupons are worth their face value only. I do find Walmart grocery stores to have cheaper prices if you are not using a coupon, but I've done the math. If you are using coupons, traditional grocery stores are better.
3. Tom Thumb is more expensive on certain items, but if I'm depressed and need good customer service, I go there.
4. Albertson's is cheapest on meat. They have ridiculous sales where you can buy one package of steaks and get two free. You would think it would be bad meat, but it's delicious! Watch their salepaper for the coupons.
5. If you forgot your store-specific coupons at your house, go to customer service. They keep them behind the counter.
6. Sales start every Wednesday, but sometimes they have weekend-only deals.
7. On Hulen Street in Fort Worth, at Tom Thumb, the bathroom is in the pharmacy. At Albertson's, it's in produce. At Kroger, it's in the meat department.
It's a lot of work, but it's worth it. Last week I spent $89 for two weeks worth of groceries. I love looking at my receipt at the end. I usually save about 25 percent with coupons and sales. Sometimes I get into big money and save up to 30 percent or more.
My grandma doesn't cut coupons as much anymore. She finds it to be too much work for just her and my grandpa. Every time I see her, she is proud to hear my war stories from the grocery store. It's a battle against manufacturer's profit, and they don't make a lot from me. I'm a war veteran.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Better than a Barbie shoe.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Crisis in the Boyette Casa
Claire is at the age where she is starting to like Barbie. She has received several Barbies for gifts, but I confiscate all small accessories. Paul puts everything that will fit into his mouth, and I know Claire is not old enough to determine whether or not he might choke on something.
She's been playing with the Barbies themselves since around Christmas. She likes to take off their clothes and call them Naked Barbie. Her interest has piqued, so I allowed her to have one pair of Barbie shoes. When I gave them to her, I talked to her about Paul and how she must always put her Barbie shoes back into her Barbie bucket because he will get them and put them in his mouth and choke on them. Every time she gets out her Barbies I remind her about Paul. It's become so repetitive that she actually can complete my sentence. "...because he will choke on them and get hurt."
Yesterday I was having computer issues. I was frustrated and decided to take a break. I put Paul in his swing so he could take a nap while I took a shower. I always do this for his own protection. Claire can't get into the swing or sit on him when he is in the swing. As I was headed to the shower, I noticed that Claire's Barbie shoes were on the counter next to the swing. They weren't on the floor, so I didn't say anything about it.
I heard Paul crying the entire time I was showering. He hadn't wanted to take a nap, so I thought he was upset I put him in the swing. I heard him coughing, but sometimes he does that when he's real upset. After I got dressed, I went to pick him up and comfort him and that's when I saw it.
One small gold Barbie high heel on the tray of his swing. The other high heel was nowhere to be found. I asked Claire where the other one was and she started apologizing and ran out of the room.
She fed it to him.
I was so mad at her I made her stay in her room for an hour and a half until I calmed down. I know kids like to experiment and put things in their mouth, and if I hadn't specifically, repeatedly, explained the dangers of Barbie shoes to her, I wouldn't have been as upset. She did it on purpose. I was flabbergasted that a near-three year old would be so defiant. It is fascinating to me to watch her moral compass develop. I wasn't fascinated yesterday, though. I was so mad I didn't know what to do.
Paul was not choking. He was breathing fine. He was happy. I stuck my finger down his throat and found no obstructions. I called Adam and he recommended I call the doctor. Then he asked my advice on what part to buy from the junkyard. For any man reading this, please know that when your wife calls with an emergency crisis, it is not the time to talk to her about something at the junkyard. That just adds to her anxiety and frustration.
I called the doctor and she told me to feed him a piece of bread. Everything's fine now. Claire's out of time-out. She lost her Barbie privileges for a week, at least. Adam apologized and made his own decision about the junkyard. I took a deep breath and am trying to take a CSI approach to checking poo for Barbie shoes.
She's been playing with the Barbies themselves since around Christmas. She likes to take off their clothes and call them Naked Barbie. Her interest has piqued, so I allowed her to have one pair of Barbie shoes. When I gave them to her, I talked to her about Paul and how she must always put her Barbie shoes back into her Barbie bucket because he will get them and put them in his mouth and choke on them. Every time she gets out her Barbies I remind her about Paul. It's become so repetitive that she actually can complete my sentence. "...because he will choke on them and get hurt."
Yesterday I was having computer issues. I was frustrated and decided to take a break. I put Paul in his swing so he could take a nap while I took a shower. I always do this for his own protection. Claire can't get into the swing or sit on him when he is in the swing. As I was headed to the shower, I noticed that Claire's Barbie shoes were on the counter next to the swing. They weren't on the floor, so I didn't say anything about it.
I heard Paul crying the entire time I was showering. He hadn't wanted to take a nap, so I thought he was upset I put him in the swing. I heard him coughing, but sometimes he does that when he's real upset. After I got dressed, I went to pick him up and comfort him and that's when I saw it.
One small gold Barbie high heel on the tray of his swing. The other high heel was nowhere to be found. I asked Claire where the other one was and she started apologizing and ran out of the room.
She fed it to him.
I was so mad at her I made her stay in her room for an hour and a half until I calmed down. I know kids like to experiment and put things in their mouth, and if I hadn't specifically, repeatedly, explained the dangers of Barbie shoes to her, I wouldn't have been as upset. She did it on purpose. I was flabbergasted that a near-three year old would be so defiant. It is fascinating to me to watch her moral compass develop. I wasn't fascinated yesterday, though. I was so mad I didn't know what to do.
Paul was not choking. He was breathing fine. He was happy. I stuck my finger down his throat and found no obstructions. I called Adam and he recommended I call the doctor. Then he asked my advice on what part to buy from the junkyard. For any man reading this, please know that when your wife calls with an emergency crisis, it is not the time to talk to her about something at the junkyard. That just adds to her anxiety and frustration.
I called the doctor and she told me to feed him a piece of bread. Everything's fine now. Claire's out of time-out. She lost her Barbie privileges for a week, at least. Adam apologized and made his own decision about the junkyard. I took a deep breath and am trying to take a CSI approach to checking poo for Barbie shoes.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Yin/Yang
I believe in the yin and yang. Or is it ying/yang? Or you could call it karma, or you could call it divine intervention, or you could call it God putting me in my place now and then.
Claire spilled milk the other day and I lost it. I am so tired to cleaning up messes! Do not eat off my floor, because no matter how often I mop it, it's dirty. Of course I clean up after every spill, but there are so many! Cheerios, smooshed strawberries, spilled milk, urine, dog food and water....It's all over my floor. The other day I hadn't finished my essential cup of coffee before Claire spilled my giant glass of Carnation Instant Breakfast. She just stood there looking at it. I was furious. I know spills are a part of life, but get a towel and start cleaning it up! Come on! I threw her a towel and yelled, making her mop up her mess. Of course I felt terrible immediately afterward, but that wasn't all.
At lunch that day, yours truly spilled her own giant glass of water. I was definitely put in my place.
I took Claire and Paul to the zoo this week, and Claire asked for the leash. I obliged. Then I realized, "Hey stupid, maybe it's not all about you! Maybe it's a security thing for her, too! Maybe she doesn't want to get lost!" I immediately sucked it up and lost my embarrassment. I was doing all that whining about the stupid leash but forgot to look past my own pathetic nose.
Sunday I taught a class at church. We were discussing the book UnChristian and our own conceptions of other Christians. Many in the group had bad experiences at different churches and were complaining about them (me included.) Then one guy said, "Look here on the survey. One of the top perceptions of Christianity is that we are judgmental. We just proved that." Oops.
And lastly, last night we were out of milk, so I stopped in Albertson's after Girls' Night Out. I grabbed milk and a bottle of wine. I called Adam and offered to buy him a particular beer. He declined. The beer cost $8.99/6-pack, so I was kind of glad he said no. I would have bought it if he wanted it, but didn't really want to buy beer that high. Now my cheap wine was also $8.99, but of course that was different....Blah blah.
At the register, the people in front of me were upset. Their foodstamps card had just been declined. They were buying bread, bagels, cream cheese and a couple of other items. Their bill was $8.90 and they couldn't afford it. Of course I offered and bought their groceries for them. So there I was, whining in my head about the price of beer, not thinking twice about buying wine for the same price, and there was a family that couldn't afford actual food for the same price. The cashier told me after they left that the lady was pregnant and they were on the way to the hospital to visit her mother, who was in the last stages of cancer and dying.
I am not a humble person, but I am often humbled by experiences like this.
Claire spilled milk the other day and I lost it. I am so tired to cleaning up messes! Do not eat off my floor, because no matter how often I mop it, it's dirty. Of course I clean up after every spill, but there are so many! Cheerios, smooshed strawberries, spilled milk, urine, dog food and water....It's all over my floor. The other day I hadn't finished my essential cup of coffee before Claire spilled my giant glass of Carnation Instant Breakfast. She just stood there looking at it. I was furious. I know spills are a part of life, but get a towel and start cleaning it up! Come on! I threw her a towel and yelled, making her mop up her mess. Of course I felt terrible immediately afterward, but that wasn't all.
At lunch that day, yours truly spilled her own giant glass of water. I was definitely put in my place.
I took Claire and Paul to the zoo this week, and Claire asked for the leash. I obliged. Then I realized, "Hey stupid, maybe it's not all about you! Maybe it's a security thing for her, too! Maybe she doesn't want to get lost!" I immediately sucked it up and lost my embarrassment. I was doing all that whining about the stupid leash but forgot to look past my own pathetic nose.
Sunday I taught a class at church. We were discussing the book UnChristian and our own conceptions of other Christians. Many in the group had bad experiences at different churches and were complaining about them (me included.) Then one guy said, "Look here on the survey. One of the top perceptions of Christianity is that we are judgmental. We just proved that." Oops.
And lastly, last night we were out of milk, so I stopped in Albertson's after Girls' Night Out. I grabbed milk and a bottle of wine. I called Adam and offered to buy him a particular beer. He declined. The beer cost $8.99/6-pack, so I was kind of glad he said no. I would have bought it if he wanted it, but didn't really want to buy beer that high. Now my cheap wine was also $8.99, but of course that was different....Blah blah.
At the register, the people in front of me were upset. Their foodstamps card had just been declined. They were buying bread, bagels, cream cheese and a couple of other items. Their bill was $8.90 and they couldn't afford it. Of course I offered and bought their groceries for them. So there I was, whining in my head about the price of beer, not thinking twice about buying wine for the same price, and there was a family that couldn't afford actual food for the same price. The cashier told me after they left that the lady was pregnant and they were on the way to the hospital to visit her mother, who was in the last stages of cancer and dying.
I am not a humble person, but I am often humbled by experiences like this.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Small Miracles and Grace
Long ago, before I joined the Methodist church, I understood grace to be poise and put-togetherness. Audrey Hepburn, but not Sarah....No, I've never had that kind of grace.
Now I have a different understanding of the word. Getting something you don't deserve; that's grace. I am constantly the recipient of that kind of grace. Just this last week has been full of grace. Here are three small miracles that have happened here at our house:
1. We have a vinyl-lined pool that desparately needed a new liner. We've been worried about replacing it since the original quote we got on it was almost $4,000. We just had a guy do it for half of that. We're budgeting every dollar since I quit working last year, so that was a small miracle the money we'd been saving for that was more than enough.
2. Our computer died. Adam can get it to work for 10 or 15 minutes at a time by doing something to a battery inside, but that's about all. It's about to be dead forever. After replacing the pool liner, we really don't have money for a new computer. I was telling my friend Alli this and she said that her husband was about to sell a good laptop for $100. I jumped at the opportunity. The laptop works great and is actually an upgrade from the dead computer!
3. Every year, since we've been married, we've owed money on our taxes. We feared this year would be our biggest year yet because we received gas lease money in the fall and would have to pay taxes on that. Adam did our taxes yesterday and we actually get $200 back! Now that's a miracle!
Audrey Hepburn be damned. My life is full of grace! (and gratitude)
Now I have a different understanding of the word. Getting something you don't deserve; that's grace. I am constantly the recipient of that kind of grace. Just this last week has been full of grace. Here are three small miracles that have happened here at our house:
1. We have a vinyl-lined pool that desparately needed a new liner. We've been worried about replacing it since the original quote we got on it was almost $4,000. We just had a guy do it for half of that. We're budgeting every dollar since I quit working last year, so that was a small miracle the money we'd been saving for that was more than enough.
2. Our computer died. Adam can get it to work for 10 or 15 minutes at a time by doing something to a battery inside, but that's about all. It's about to be dead forever. After replacing the pool liner, we really don't have money for a new computer. I was telling my friend Alli this and she said that her husband was about to sell a good laptop for $100. I jumped at the opportunity. The laptop works great and is actually an upgrade from the dead computer!
3. Every year, since we've been married, we've owed money on our taxes. We feared this year would be our biggest year yet because we received gas lease money in the fall and would have to pay taxes on that. Adam did our taxes yesterday and we actually get $200 back! Now that's a miracle!
Audrey Hepburn be damned. My life is full of grace! (and gratitude)
Friday, April 10, 2009
Mommy Madness
Dear North Texas Chevy Dealers,
I recently applied for the Mommy Madness DFW Chevy Traverse Sweepstakes. I think I am a good choice for this sweepstakes for a number of reasons including my station in life, my writing ability, and my current vehicle choice. I was limited to 50 words in my application on your website, so I am now using my blog as my campaign platform.
I am a full-time mother of two active children. Claire is almost three, and Paul is nine months. They enjoy fighting and chasing each other, Claire running and Paul crawling as fast as he can. I was a first grade teacher for six years and quit when I gave birth to Paul. I still keep in contact with my teacher friends and have made several new "mom" friends. I am very active in my church and regularly visit several elderly people. I am titled a "stay-at-home" mom, but it is a rare day that we actually stay-at-home. If I win, I will make sure your vehicle is covered in advertisements and that they are displayed all over the metroplex.
Writing is one of my gifts. I have a journalism degree, but never was able to use it. Winning the Mommy Madness contest would give me a chance to use all those unused skills. I often think my life consists entirely of chauffering and poop, so this would be a great opportunity for me to expand my horizons and remind me that I am more than a diaper genie.
I drive a VW Jetta. I owned three Ford Escorts, back to back before I switched to Volkswagon. I have been happy with my vehicle, but have never driven a Chevy. (I never liked the Fords, but that was all I could afford in college.) I'm interested to learn about the Chevy experience, but more than that, I'm interested in driving an SUV. I have always driven a small car and frankly, am intimidated by SUVs. This would be a great opportunity for me to test out my SUV driving skills and see if I could actually handle it. I am also interested to see how my children's behavior would change in a larger car. Right now they fight constantly in the car. I never realized a baby could put up a fight, but my Paul holds his own against his sister.
All of these are reasons why I would be a perfect candidate to win your contest and drive the Chevy Traverse. I hope you agree.
Sincerely,
Sarah Boyette
I recently applied for the Mommy Madness DFW Chevy Traverse Sweepstakes. I think I am a good choice for this sweepstakes for a number of reasons including my station in life, my writing ability, and my current vehicle choice. I was limited to 50 words in my application on your website, so I am now using my blog as my campaign platform.
I am a full-time mother of two active children. Claire is almost three, and Paul is nine months. They enjoy fighting and chasing each other, Claire running and Paul crawling as fast as he can. I was a first grade teacher for six years and quit when I gave birth to Paul. I still keep in contact with my teacher friends and have made several new "mom" friends. I am very active in my church and regularly visit several elderly people. I am titled a "stay-at-home" mom, but it is a rare day that we actually stay-at-home. If I win, I will make sure your vehicle is covered in advertisements and that they are displayed all over the metroplex.
Writing is one of my gifts. I have a journalism degree, but never was able to use it. Winning the Mommy Madness contest would give me a chance to use all those unused skills. I often think my life consists entirely of chauffering and poop, so this would be a great opportunity for me to expand my horizons and remind me that I am more than a diaper genie.
I drive a VW Jetta. I owned three Ford Escorts, back to back before I switched to Volkswagon. I have been happy with my vehicle, but have never driven a Chevy. (I never liked the Fords, but that was all I could afford in college.) I'm interested to learn about the Chevy experience, but more than that, I'm interested in driving an SUV. I have always driven a small car and frankly, am intimidated by SUVs. This would be a great opportunity for me to test out my SUV driving skills and see if I could actually handle it. I am also interested to see how my children's behavior would change in a larger car. Right now they fight constantly in the car. I never realized a baby could put up a fight, but my Paul holds his own against his sister.
All of these are reasons why I would be a perfect candidate to win your contest and drive the Chevy Traverse. I hope you agree.
Sincerely,
Sarah Boyette
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Chimpanzees
For my birthday, the family got a zoo membership. Claire, Paul, and I have been enjoying it at least weekly since spring break. It's nice to be able to go to the zoo for just an hour and not feel pressured to see all the animals; we can see them next time.
Yesterday the chimpanzees were up and in a performing mood, so the kids and I sat there for half an hour watching them. They were jumping, playing, and having lots of fun. We got to watch them eat and interact with each other. Then the mother started nursing her baby and I immediately related and was a little bit jealous. Wouldn't it be cool, I thought, if all I had to worry about was feeding my kids and having fun? I never had to throw them in the car and rush anywhere, I never had to clean cheerios off the floor or out of hair...
Then one of the chimpanzees backed his rear toward us and pooped. I immediately woke up and back to reality. Pooping in public? No thank you. I think I'll be a human. Of course, I didn't see the mom have to rush over there and clean the poop.....Hmmmmm....Might not be as bad as I thought.
Yesterday the chimpanzees were up and in a performing mood, so the kids and I sat there for half an hour watching them. They were jumping, playing, and having lots of fun. We got to watch them eat and interact with each other. Then the mother started nursing her baby and I immediately related and was a little bit jealous. Wouldn't it be cool, I thought, if all I had to worry about was feeding my kids and having fun? I never had to throw them in the car and rush anywhere, I never had to clean cheerios off the floor or out of hair...
Then one of the chimpanzees backed his rear toward us and pooped. I immediately woke up and back to reality. Pooping in public? No thank you. I think I'll be a human. Of course, I didn't see the mom have to rush over there and clean the poop.....Hmmmmm....Might not be as bad as I thought.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
I Will Not Judge You
Before I had kids, I was very concious of my appearance. Not my physical appearance, mind you, I have never been a primper. I was very worried about manners and social graces. I don't worry about it any more.
If your kid screams and throws a fit at the store, I will not judge you. I have been there.
If you arrive at your destination and realize that somehow you and your daughter have ketchup stains on your clothes and your son has spit up, I will not judge you. I've been there recently.
If you have to put your kid on a leash, I will not judge you. I did it again this week.
I can't remember the last time I wore makeup; clean clothes are more important to me now. And clean clothes are less important than happy kids.
Every time I catch myself judging someone, I find myself in the same situation and have to put my foot in my mouth. The other night we were at Best Buy and I was horrified to see a guy sitting on a bench with half of his rear hanging out of his pants. Yesterday I was at the Apple store, trying all my mommy magic to contain my two-year old and keep her from breaking everything in the store. She wasn't upset, she was just very excited and rambunctious. Paul was in the baby sling fussing. It was at that point, when I was bending over to contain Claire that I realized my working out finally has paid off. That's good, but what's not good is that I was the Best Buy guy, and I couldn't do anything about it. I was showing the store my rear, but I decided it was more important to prevent Claire from breaking a new IMac.
So I say to you. If your pants are too big and you accidentally show me your rear, I will not judge you.
I think I have covered pretty much every embarrassing situation with the promise of more to come. So don't ever be embarrassed around me. I've been there.
If your kid screams and throws a fit at the store, I will not judge you. I have been there.
If you arrive at your destination and realize that somehow you and your daughter have ketchup stains on your clothes and your son has spit up, I will not judge you. I've been there recently.
If you have to put your kid on a leash, I will not judge you. I did it again this week.
I can't remember the last time I wore makeup; clean clothes are more important to me now. And clean clothes are less important than happy kids.
Every time I catch myself judging someone, I find myself in the same situation and have to put my foot in my mouth. The other night we were at Best Buy and I was horrified to see a guy sitting on a bench with half of his rear hanging out of his pants. Yesterday I was at the Apple store, trying all my mommy magic to contain my two-year old and keep her from breaking everything in the store. She wasn't upset, she was just very excited and rambunctious. Paul was in the baby sling fussing. It was at that point, when I was bending over to contain Claire that I realized my working out finally has paid off. That's good, but what's not good is that I was the Best Buy guy, and I couldn't do anything about it. I was showing the store my rear, but I decided it was more important to prevent Claire from breaking a new IMac.
So I say to you. If your pants are too big and you accidentally show me your rear, I will not judge you.
I think I have covered pretty much every embarrassing situation with the promise of more to come. So don't ever be embarrassed around me. I've been there.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)